Saturday, September 30, 2006

Sex, Crantini's and Ho-Trains..


Friday night, was my first night out with the "girls" in it seems like forever. I have been spending my time lately working, doing more classes for a second Masters degree, visiting the local jail, and pretty much being worn out from the daily dose of life. So, after a formal shin-dig I had to attend for work, I headed out to the local martini bar. Of course, two of my closest chick friends cancelled, so it was just me and my "fav redhead" out on the town. We met up with my sweet little ex-intern and his fraternity brothers.

I dont look at myself as being "old" and I think I am pretty in touch with the new millenium, but nothing makes you feel older than hanging out with frat brothers who are all 20-something.

As I am sitting there drinking my Crantini...thoughts began running through my head like..When did I make it to this age? How did gravity and bad lighting become an issue? Why is it that all of the sudden I feel so insecure?

And there it was in my face..the ANSWER. The answer was a 22 year old.. 5'3" blonde with D's...looking at me like I was out of my league sitting at a table with my frat boys. Then I realized it is just not this chick..but I was surrounded. It was like the Ho-Train just made its stop and all the Ho's with big plastic tits and anorexic bodies were surrounding me. Yes, I know this is a wet dream for some (mike..) but hey, this is my worst nightmare.

As I continued to drink I ended up engaging in conversation, and realizing that hey these little bitches may have the bodies and big tits..but I have something else..yep, I have KNOWLEDGE..and EXPERIENCE! I remembered being that young, and being grossed out by oral sex, and refusing to swallow. I recall playing games, not communicating my feelings and being a jealous bitch. So, I decided that maybe having to take the extra efforts to color the grey, hide the stretch marks and wearing the push-up bras to defy gravity really isn't too bad after all. Maybe growing old gracefully is actually a virtue. Perhaps, there are men out there that like the experience and knowledge of the older woman..or maybe I am just living in a dream world!

xoxo!
andi

Thursday, September 28, 2006

More than Enough Andi...serious.


So, apparently my amazing Andi post was not enough for you guys, cause now I got asked to do this MeMe..and I can not even remember who asked me to do it...so, thanks. Anyway, I am having some technical difficulties with the newest Tales from the Couch and so well..give me a day..and then we will all be looking at the twisted, sex mind of Pyrohnik. Let me tell you..that fucker gave me one hell of a time too...good thing he is SO damn sexy!

So..here we go..MeMe..

1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Are we talking about booty calls or friends with benefits?? If that is it..then well..they work when they work. We can all use some meaningless sex from time to time but the best sex is always the emotionally, attached, snuggly kind..serious.

2. Do you bite your toenails?
Of course...they provide excellent protein!! What kind of question is this?

3. Are you a jealous person?
Um, sometimes..but more territorial...and I have been known to put up a cock block or two in my days...sorry ladies!

4. What are you allergic to?
Cats..plastic tape, and really stupid people.

5. What books, if any, have made you cry?
Wow, I rarely cry over things..um, probably the Dave Pelzer series. "I know my first name is it" and a "Man Named Dave." True stories of child abuse..and absolutley sad as hell.

6. Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
Depends who it is.

7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Cherry Garcia baby!! Or Chocolate Chip.

8. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest what would you say to them?
"Yeah..right" or "nice mullet!" (wow, I am kidding..I have no idea.)

9. What would you rather be doing right now?
Having sex..please!

10. What

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Andi's Believe or Not....


So, tonight I was talking to Sug, and she mentioned I had not done a MeMe in awhile. So, I started telling her somethings I know how to do which amazed her..so, we came up with this list of 15 things that make me amazing....

1) I can play Golf..and probably can kick your ass. I was actually on the Golf Team in High-School.
2) I can actually play the Cello. I know, total geek..but it is hard as hell.
3) I can play the guitar, and sometimes I have been known to play at local coffee houses and sing. I am folksy that way..sort of like Sheryl Crowe.
4) I delivered a baby in the back of an ambulance..sick fucken mess to clean up!
5) I know how to surf. I miss the ocean.
6) I modeled for the Sears Catalog when I was six-years old.
7) I was a Girl-Scout and earned almost all my patches.

9) I went to Catholic School until High School...and yes, I still have the uniform!
10) My hair has been long enough to touch my ass, and short enough to only touch the nape of my neck.
11) I was married once before....he came out of the closet...enough said!
12) I have been published in journals, and technical briefs.
13) I had a sandwich with David Spade at Quizno's 2 years ago. He is funny as hell and cute too.
14) I skiied with Barbra Streisand once. She was on the slopes and I was with my dad...she rode up the lift with us and talked to my dad the whole way down. I think she wanted him.
15) I threw my bra on stage for Sammy Hagar once at a Van Halen concert on a dare..he picked it up and wore it around his neck the entire concert.

xoxo!
andi

Friday, September 22, 2006



It is getting colder. Good time of year for us to start getting out the flannel sheets and put the warmer blankets on the bed..and yes, the best part is the fact that I took my snowboard in today to get the bindings fixed!

But, as you know...it is Fuck You Friday...So, to honor this occassion, I have created a list of my "fuck you's"

1) To the asshole on the motorcycle this morning...FUCK YOU..there are two lanes for a reason and you do not own either of them!

2) To my neighbor who loves to get up on Saturday morning and weed whack at 7 a.m....FUCK YOU! Some of us are trying to sleep in please!

3) To the bitch at Starbucks this morning who gave me a dirty look because I accidently bumped her...Fuck off...I think you actually had fur on..I hope someone throws red paint on you!

4) To the mom who gave her toddler a spinach smoothie although they have been warning for OVER a week not to use spinach...you are one dumb fucken bitch!

5) And finally, my family is in town..so for all the ridiculous things my mother will tell me over the next 3 days just to make me feel guilty..Fuck off!

xoxox!
andi

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thursday Trauma and Tunes


2 years..tomorrow. So many questions and doubts. There has been laughter and pain. So many questions. So many uncertain moments. Striving to find true happiness~~So ready to do and pursue what I need to find you.

But today..I think about you..and what it is like to be alone with you in my mind....your touch and smell, the way you kiss..and it feels like trauma. There is this deep divide..this pull. I am confused. So, I sit on the couch drinking my Merlot..contemplating the rest of the years ahead..listening to tunes on the MP3...

So, I leave you with this..the tune in my mind.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

xoxo~
andi

PS~Hope you thought about being alone with me in your mind too...and you never stop!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

WTF Wednesday?


So, here at Secrets of a Sexblogger, I am starting a new tradition known as...
WTF Wednesday?
Anyway, this is going to be my day of the week when I rant, rave, bitch and whine about whatever and whoever I want. So, hope you enjoy.
First off, WTF...Mullet man, had got a little more brazen. He actually has a colleague of his also make cat calls at me now. Mullet man's friend..also has a Mullet..sorta like Billy Ray Cyrus from the 90's. It is frightening. They sit outside Starbucks and wait for me to walk to my car and then tell me hello. This morning I decided to make a comment first. I walked up behind Mullet Man #1 and Mullet Man #2 watched..I smiled and motioned for him to remain silent. I then brushed against Mullet Man #1 as I reached for a napkin..and said, "Well..my vision in flannel..mmm..how are you?" He just stared at me..mouth dropped open. Mullet Man #2 said.."he is fine." I giggled and walked out the front door.
Secondly, WTF...why is it that things you desire and think about always seem to be so un~obtainable. So, distant..so guarded. I hate that.
Third, WTF (dedicated to Steph)...did I mention how much I love my new job. It rocks. It is so nice, and posh. No clients whining. Today, I go to this little cafe downtown to meet a friend (a damn lawyer) for lunch when all of the sudden I am ran up on by my old client...yep, the 40 year old virgin! He told me he misses me. He then goes on to tell me that he is sure to get laid now because he has invested in Extenz...some herbal medicine to make his cock longer. He said he has his eye on a "honey" (he actually uses this term) in his Bipolar Support Group. WTF, am I supposed to say? I told him to take his "new meds" into the psychiatrist to make sure they do not interfere with his anti-psychotics. He agrees and then struts off.
God, someone give him a mercy fuck please!
Lastly, WTF..I have been SO fucken horny lately. I can not masturbate or fuck enough! I wonder if I am hitting my sexual prime? I am 32..isn't this when it happens? I need to look into it..I need a new toy. Oh, and has anyone ever thought about how sexy it is to hear a man cum..not just when they shoot their cum out..but the build up..the anticipation. I love it! Damn, I need a shower now!
Happy WTF Wednesday!
andi
Ps~! I am working on my next Tales from the Couch. This time it will feature another little hottie...Pyrhonik....hell, let's find out what the fuck that means! Stay tuned!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Kiss


Kiss..
Kiss with a tounge
the feel of your warm breath on my lips.



Soft touch
the embrace
The taste in your mouth
the taste of us--our fluids mixed

The kiss on my mouth after you have made me cum
Kiss me.

xoxo~
andi

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Fingers...


I love fingers...
Mine..
Yours..
His..

I love the way they can thrust within me
bringing me to the brink of an orgasm
and then stop

The feeling of the vigorous movement
your hand becoming soaked with my juices
as I clench tight around your finger

One finger or two..
if I am lucky, sometimes three..
Mmmm...I love
fingers...


xoxo! andi

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Back to Basics...


There has been an evolution here at Secrets of a Sexblogger. I mean, am I really even a sex blogger anymore? What the hell road am I traveling? I know you guys are confused, and so am I to be honest.

I started this blog with my husband Chris, yep..some of you remember the days when he actually contributed with comment and writings. Then, he decided to contribute by letting me be free and express myself to bloggerville. I shared my inner-most secrets, my horniest thoughts and adventures. I posted pictures of every inch of my body, and I flirted with commenters. Then it happened..someone out there became a little too scary, and I had to pull my blog down. After a few days of thinking, I started again...from scratch. And, most of you have seen a different side of me from when I first started. You saw my plight to get my dream job, my rants about reality television, and my interviews from the couch.

Now, to be honest...I have no idea where to go. Sometimes I think about quitting. I do not get the comments and traffic I once did. And, I get email telling me how disappointed people are in my evolution. I even got email the other day that scolded me for sharing my story about 9/11 and how I hated Texas because of the sad memories. I saw a very dear blogger buddy pass away, and now I am about to approach my one year anniversary of being here in bloggerville. What people dont always seem to understand is this is MY place. I can not rant and rave all day. I cant tell people about my sex-life, and I can never, ever reveal my weaknesses. Therapists are not allowed to be more mental than their clients....but guess what, we are!

So, in short...perhaps I will get back to basics. I will just do whatever I feel like doing and not really give a fuck about who I am pleasing or not pleasing. Blogging is supposed to be about ME, and what I want the world to know. So, if I disappointed you..I am sorry. For those of you that keep reading and want more...thank you. And, please feel free to tell me what you want more of! I mean, I do like to entertain to a point, and I want this to be a cool place to come and hang out.

With this all said, I think I will go masturbate now, create a hot fantasy in my head and blog about it tomorrow... until then...enjoy my tits!~

xoxo~!
andi

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

No FUCKEN way..Serious??




Mike: OK, the rumor mill is all the buzz today, Beside Whitney finally leaving Bobby (and the crack) and Britney’s forever ruined once hot belly, it has been said that “Supernova” AKA Narcotics Anonymous will not be allowed to use the name “Supernova” due to the fact there is already a “Supernova”, minus the track marks, tattoos and jaded past. Ryan, there is still hope for you to lead “Supernova” after all! You can read all about it here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/sddt/20060913/lo_sddt/injunctiongrantedinsupernovadispute
You would have thought that someone would have investigated this before hand? Oh well, on to the finale! Andi, Come on Babe…
Andi: Is it time yet? *passes Mike his drink*
Mike: This is it folks! Toby, Dilana, Magni and Lukas are left standing on stage!
Brooke just called Tommy “The Big Man”. She must have seen the video!
Andi: LMAO, Hey..we should rent that video one day..that may be fun! Maybe you can be Tommy and I could be Pamela!
Mike: I must say for the record, Dave Navarro is a scary looking fucker! Oh, Andi..hmm..well, we can check that out later…OK – Fewest vote time. (Last night the voting broke records in 3 countries)
Andi: It is always record breaking time! Serious. They say that every week. Mmmm…look at fucken hot Toby looks!
Mike: Whatever, all the dudes are standing! Go Dilana!
Andi: Shhh..Dilana is a bitch! Sheesh..
Mike: Whatever! Okay, Magni is the first to perform. Not enough votes out of Iceland I guess. He chose “Fire” by Jimmy Hendrix! Playing guitar, if I close my eyes you’d think Jimmy was back. I am going to miss Magni! Andi, stop, not now babe! Let it rest a few. Andi: Sorry honey..but Mmm…Toby is hot and you are hot..and well, I have had a long day and I am horny..
Mike: I know. I will take care of you later. Check this out Lukas is wearing big ol’ white glasses. He looks like he mugged one of the Olsen twins for them. Magni was OK. Not good enough to save his ass if you ask me.
Andi: Yuck..and Lukas has lip gloss on..looks like the kind I left on your collar the other day! Uh, oh..here is goes..
Mike: The second for elimination is… Toby? What the fuck? Lukas blows! Again with the Billy Idol! White Wedding, Go Toby! Actually Toby is looking like Lukas tonight minus the Hello Kitty Glitter. The audience is pissed! They want Toby! They are singing and dancing and, well it is Toby!
Andi: Ah, that pisses me off..Toby did not belong in the bottom two! Besides, you have that EVS tat on your ass…that could look really stupid if he is eliminated.
Mike: No shit..but, Toby rocked as usual! Dilana---and shove a potato up my ass-- Lukas are left. The guys have to send home either Magni or our boy Toby! Oh, commercial time which means, “Hey Andi…”
Andi: Mmmm…I love commercial time….we’ll be right back!

(Insert Moaning and Groping Here)

Mike: Okay, we are back. Damn, Andi is the best 2.5 minutes…seriously! Anyway, Gilby is talking… Blah, Blah, Blah… Get a hair cut!
Andi: His hair seriously scares me. I think he has it back in a scrunchie!
Mike: See you Magni! Say hello to the penguins in Iceland for us!
Andi: Ah, that is too bad. He was sweet. But, not lead-singer material! I still vote for billboard material on E-Bay!
Mike: No shit! Okay, three are left. Dilana, Luk-ASS and Toby. You’re right..Lukas is wearing mega lip gloss just for the guys! Now he get’s to plea his case as to why he is the best for them. Oh, and Dilana. Recap of awesome songs! Where does she buy her clothes I wonder? “I’m the one she tells the band”. Yes babe you are!
Andi: Shhh..come on! No she is NOT!
Mike: Toby, is up to plea his case. EVS. Yes Andi my ass is still sore.. Here rub some of this on it!
Andi: I will rub something..especially thinking of Toby!
Mike: Oh, watch this….Tommy has the shades on! One more time he says! Get ready world! This house is a rocking! OK, now for the performances. I think CBS just gave away the winner on the last commercial.
Andi: No fucken way! I need a drink if that is true—serious!
Okay, here is FAS-man!
Mike: Luk-Ass, “Bittersweet get the fuck off of the stage clown boy”. I wish some one would throw something at him! Oh, watch out, he is doing his best “Scott Wieland” I so hate you, you lip gloss wearing, Olsen twin stolen glasses, Hello Kitty Glitter, Boy George wishing, Wham loving, Duran Duran reject, A-hole!
Andi: Calm down babe..they have to make their quota for the disabled. Here comes Dilana!
Mike: Dilana is doing “Zombie” my FAV!...not now Andi! I am crying right now (literally), Dilana was so great. She has to make it. If so they will go on to be one of the best bands in history!
Andi: Sorry babe…I can’t help it..oh, here is…
Mike: Toby with the “Killer”, “Somebody Told me”… He knows that it is over! Dilana nailed it!
Andi: No way..that was HOT! OMG, I think I need to cum!
Mike: What kills me is Toby and Dilana have just proven that they are in a class far about Luk-ASS. Go Toby! He’s rocking! Pouring his soul out! (He is a tall drink of water BTW)
Andi: Hell yeah he is..mmm..much more to devour. I think you two are the same height though. Oh, now I am nervous….hold me!
Mike: *holding Andi and copping feel* It’s over! Time to choose! Well Andi, what are we going to do once this is over”? “I kinda got used to meeting in seedy hotel rooms with you.
Andi: I know, now there is no more excuses..hmmm..maybe some more couch sessions?? NO..what the fuck? Serious? Mike!! Serious??
Mike: Oh crap, Tommy’s drums are on the stage… What? Stay tuned. “Something is up folks” a riff in the band? Toby is gone over Luk-ASS? Jason is getting booed for sending Toby home! If Luk-ASS wins this I will Boycott Super whatever the fuck there name will be. Final two are Dilana and Lukas – Last night they both had the highest votes!
Andi: No FUCKEN way..serious! Toby can not leave! Who is it gonna be??
Mike: The guys need a few more minutes. I’ll tell you what. The crowd is all holding Dilana signs. If Luk-ASS wins, he’ll never make it out of the building alive.
Andi: I can not FUCKEN believe this!
Mike: The audience is Screaming Dilana!
Andi: Oh, I hate her..but I would rather her than….
Mike: Luk-ASS won! Fuck this!
Andi: No FUCKEN way…

Reporting for the last time on RockStar and now pissed as hell….

(I guess it is an angry-fuck tonight, Mike)

Mike and Andi

PS~I will return to regularly scheduled sex-blogging in the upcoming days stay tuned! Oh, and I am looking for my next Couch Victim...any volunteers??

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Next to the Last RockStar Review


Yep, here we are...the next to the last RockStar: SuperNova review...so, here we go....

Mike: Ryan’s back? Where the hell is Andi? Oh my God, not “Back of Your Car” again.
Andi: Hey, Babe..here I am! Oh, I LOVE Ryan! He is SO hot! And you know I would LOVE to get in the back of his car!
Mike: *Eye Roll* Guess what Ryan? You still suck! Even the house band is like “Oh no, not again”. “Thanks Dave”? Oh, the bitch got a car! For sucking? Hell Zayra should have gotten a Diamond ring or something if that is the case.
Andi: LMAO! Oh, come on..he is hot! BTW, how is your ass feeling?
Mike: Fuck you!
Andi: Come on babe!! I love the EVS tattoo on your ass! LOL, You were so drunk last night! I can’t believe alcohol and a blow job could convince you to get that tat on your ass! LOL
Mike: Fuck you! Don’t tell people about that! Alright, Toby might take this shit! And by the way, Brooke looks so hot for a prego!
Andi: Shhhh! Here comes Toby! And look babe, everyone has EVS on their signs..just like your ass!
Mike: Oh, another cover and and original… Yawn!
Toby is up looking like a cross between George Michael and Michael Jackson. But he sounds great with the accent and the audience is all over it! Look, Andi…Toby is bringing Magni up on stage!
Andi: I know..Shhh..damn he is hot! OMG! Hand me a towel for the drool! And pass me the extra batteries!
Mike: Toby, this song again, “Chemical Dreaming”? Dude, take some shrooms and relax! I gotta say I never wanted to become homo this bad before!
Andi: Oh Mike, you could never be homo! Not after this morning!! Besides, you have to learn to love Toby…you have his saying on your ass cheek now!
Mike: Andi, you are lucky I love you, cause I would kick your ass. Wow, Magni, you kicked some ass on guitar! I hope they take note. Oh my God…Dave is kissing Toby’s ass.. Dave is such a switch hitter! And, Gilby is a fag as normal. Gilby go find Axl and get bitched slapped like the old days!
Andi: I like Dave, but Gilby SO needs a new hair-cut seriously! And, did you notice how calm Tommy is? He must be taking his ADHD meds tonight.
Mike: Andi, Pour me a drink babe…coming up – Lukas and “Cold Play”. God I hate that band! And btw, I must say, for as much money as those rockers Tommy, Gilby and others have, you’d think that they could shop somewhere besides Goodwill!
Andi: Here is your drink babe. *kisses Mike* Now, shut the hell up and listen!
Mike: Oh, Lukas, get the fuck off of the stage. What the hell is with the glitter around your eyes? Lukas is dancing and almost fell on his ass. Wearing the same lame, played-out outfit! Dancing even more homo than David Bowie! I wish that he would take one of those spikes off of his glove and ram it in his throat!
Andi: Mike, he is such a freak! OMG, I can not stand that Hello Kitty glitter around his eyes!
Mike: OMG, there is a “Rossi Posse”? Where the hell have I been? Go home Glam boy! Has anyone noticed that he is a hairy little bastard? Yes Lukas, we know that you’re not perfect, trust me!
Andi: LOL, at least I did not trick you into the “Rossi Posse” on your ass! LOL!
Mike: Wait a minute, what the hell is Paula Abdul doing there? Where is Simon? We need him after that! Dave, stop blowing smoke up his ass!
Andi: Paula is anywhere there is pot-smoking! She loves to get high, and I bet her and Tommy pop pills and smoke-out together! And then you know she gang-bangs the guys afterward.
Mike: LMAO, Andi, damn you are sexy as hell when you are bagging on Tommy! Alright, Dilana is up! C’mon girl, bring it! I love you! Roxanne by the police! OMG, Dilana, will you have my children? You are so fucking hot… Sting is dialing right now to get you recorded on that song! It’s over! Dilana is the new singer of Narcotics Anonymous! But, Andi….you know I love you! Oh, Now the original! That outfit is kicking! She’s doing the junkie shuffle again! The leg must be better! She is wearing no panties and the audience just got a bird’s eye view! She just got in Dave’s face…he nutted!
Andi: I don’t care how she shuffles or who nutted over her! I think she is a cunt after bagging on the boys a few weeks ago, and I do not like her still! The exorcism obviously did not work because she is still evil!
Mike: Oh..damn! Now she is working the audience! Dave’s on his feet! Tommy is rocking! Tommy just mouthed, "That was hot" Gilby wants Dilana to win…so do I!
Andi: OMG, she just pandered to Paula Abdul! OMG, please..go home bitch! I can not believe Dave just complimented you! She sucks!
Mike: Oh, you are so hot when you are jealous! Alright, Magni, hush. I had to actually play that song in stage band in HS. You’re rocking it too boy! Unfortunately I think that your visa is about to run out and you and your 10 kids will be soon collecting firewood back in Iceland! Wait…you and the house band guitar guy seem to have a thing going? Maybe, just maybe… West Hollywood, look out for Magni!
Andi: Mike, come on! His kids will do more than collect wood! Besides, with EVS on his head~maybe he can sell his head as advertising space on E-Bay!
Mike: LMAO…Now the original! Oh this again! Yawn.
Andi: Hey, I like this!
Mike: Andi, can you pour me another drink? Better yet, bring that fine ass over here.
Andi: *sits on Mike’s lap* Oh, come on babe…you know I would be a happy girl if Toby wins..besides, a happy Andi makes for a happy Mike!
Mike: Mmmm..love a happy Mike and Andi…and btw, after this is over, we need to go to bed! BTW, Dave is gay! Bro… Deep Purple song? Dave you just fucked up! That was not a Deep Purple song! OK, maybe it is…. Jason, I applaud you for wearing a tie!
Andi: OMG! Jason looks like an idiot wearing a tie! What happened to the good days of him in the Metallica t-shirts! Seriously! All of these guys need a stylist! Maybe you can do it when you retire Mike! LOL..
Mike: Alright it’s official! Dilana is 1st! I told all of you since the start! Have a nice evening! OK Andi, time to pay up on the bet!
Andi: Hey, it is not over till it’s over! And don’t forget the part of the bet I get whether Dilana wins or not….let’s got to bed! Turn off the lights!

Reporting naked from the comfort of our hotel room....stay tuned for the finale comments tomorrow night!

xoxo!
Andi and Mike

Monday, September 11, 2006

Im Procrastinating..


I am procrastinating. I have a ton of work to do, but instead I am blogging.

Today is 9/11. I feel traumatized. There is too much media coverage; too much remembering the horror of that day. Granted, I agree we need to remember and we need to see what we lost, but I can not handle watching all of the pain and the suffering that is being showed.

243 Firefighters died that day. One of them was named Matt. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was 34 years old, and one of my bestfriends. We talked about getting married one day, and joked about having children; we were in love.

I talked to him while I was in Austin on 9/1o (at a training) and cried in the airport the morning of 9/11 when I saw what had happened on the television. I knew he was there. I could not get in touch with him; his Captain told me that he would probably not be back. I sobbed while I slept in the airport that night because all the planes were grounded and the local hotels were booked. My cell phone lay on my chest. I prayed he would call. He never did.

It seems like such a blur, and it is hard to believe it is 5 years later...5 years without him. I moved on....I got married and had a daughter. I know he is happy for me. He has no idea how empty I feel sometimes.

I told you I would tell you one day...this why I hate Texas. It reminds me of the pain I felt that day.

I miss him.
I never talk about it.
It still hurts.

xoxo!
andi


PS~ROCKSTAR review tomorrow and I have NO idea who should win BB..although, Mike would be the ho if Erika did!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Huh?




Huh?
Serious?
What the Fuck!!!

Now Im confused...

Pour me a drink!

xoxo!

andi

Wish you were here..

My dear friend and colleague left us six months ago today. My heart has been heavy, and my mind foggy today. So, I leave with you his favorite song. I miss him so much.

xoxo!
andi

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Flying Solo with Mike...


Ok, so I am solo on this evening presenting to you the weekly “Rock Star” review. Andi, or “Ms. Thang” as I call her has been under the weather and not up to par tonight and apparently she is boycotting the review this week because she is mourning the loss of Ryan last week.

Personally, I think that I wore that young, hot ass out, but hey~Just saying. I know that I have been walking a bit bowlegged lately. Anyway, after this review I will have to continue solo after the show where as I am not used to that--what is Andi punishing me for? My opinions? Yes, she owes me big time! Handcuffs, ball gags, oh, yeah… right, on with the review!

On with my play by play..literally…

So Brooke came out looking like a pregnant zebra! Yes, she is having Tommy’s baby! Gilby took them all to write a song. Toby rocked, Lukas sucked. Dilana? What the fuck? Girl, are you losing it? You can sing but can you write? Toby just kicked your ass!!

OMG, they have to do a song plus one of there own? Dilana, ignorant? Say it’s not so!

Oh, Dilana is injured, got carried out by that huge brotha from Green Mile~

Dilana – The Who…. Not feeling it from the start! Oh wait, here it comes… Bring it Biotch! Dilana is rocking on the stool! OMG.. I wanna be that stool! Oh, nice harmonics with the cute house band guitar boy! Tommy looks stoned! Unimpressed! Tommy, why the shades Mate? OK.. So, so performance. Now the original. Once again is Dilana! Oh NO! Not the one leg junkie hop! Dilana looks like she just got hobbled by Kathy Bates. Oh, please sit down! Nice blue extensions girl! Oh the pain, the leg, but great song! Can anyone say “Ello Mate”. Toby has it! Someone put Dilana down. She can not dance on one leg! Great song though. Dave hates it! Oh, Tommy thought it was banging! Gilby the “philosopher” just got booed! Jason knows he wants Dilana!

Super Nova is Sold Out at the joint in Vegas. Second show added on New Years Day! House band is opening! Will Tommy sleep that night? Watch out Ticketmaster… Rockstar.MSN.com

Magni up next~let me go pour a stiff one for this! Back in the USSR. Rock it Magni! He is a great cover band guy! Gilby is masturbating on the sidelines! Magni, “Bitch please”. John Lennon is rolling in his shallow grave and Paul and Ringo are on their way to bitch slap you! This is not Karaoke Star, it is Rock Star! Iceland misses you. You are officially deported! OK~Now your original translated into English.. This should be good! I am lost in the translation Magni! BTW.. Journey already did this song I think? I am about to break out the parachute pants… The house band is in agony! See You Magni! Go grow some hair! What is up with the big ass watch? Even the snackies in the audience are looking at you like “Dude, what the fuck”? THANK GOD IT IS OVER. “Molten hot Magni” from Dave. You know where his mind is. OK, Tommy thinks the performance was the same. Magni says because they were both performed by “ME”. The philosopher Gilby chimed in agreement.

Brooke’s titties are getting huge! Storm is up next, time for another drink!

OK, Storm is up there looking like Charlie Chaplin! David Bowie again, wait, Dave is joining! Dave, you look like Eddie Munster on Heroin! Storm is hot in that outfit. Oh Storm, not a night for a shaky voice, and the eyes have taken orbit! Right now the audience is carrying you! What up with the clown shoes? Your original better rock Storm! If not you’ll be singing “My Bologna has a first name”. Now the original~ Storm is moist, BTW…. “What the What is lady like”? Oh you are so gone Ho! Nice wife beater, looking like Kid Rock! Your song is all over the fucking place! Get off the stage! Get! NOW! Storm Large, the next spokes-ho for lesbian rights. You better learn how to play golf, because you can not sing, you can not write and the Axl look is over a decade old. Take your clown shoes and go home!

Dave is up her ass already, calling her great. Dave, which great singers have you been on stage with? Go beat off and come back. Tommy Just nutted! “You all feeling me”. Gilby in check with the others.

Lukas is up next. I need to move my bowels for this.

Ok, back….

Oh Andi, where are you? I so need you right now!

Lukas – Oh NO… NOT BON JOVI! LIVING ON A PRAYER! I WILL KILL YOU! It SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING SUCKS! DIE YOU BITCH! Jon B is on his way to slap your balls! NEWS FLASH – Lukas, punk is gone! They are laughing at you, you are a cross between Marilyn Manson and Bozo the clown! If I ever meet you I am going to break your nose! You totally butchered a great song and you will pay! Now your original! About your Mother? She’ll be one her way to slap your balls as well! GAWD, you so fucking suck! I hope you end up with Zayra in TJ taking it like a champ! Lukas, “You’re making my head spin”. Someone give him a double barrel and end this! Oh, I am going to be sick! BRB!

Of course Dave, is going emo on us. He dug it in visions of Zippos being lit for that crappy song. Tommy is asking the audience and Gilby forgot he was once in a real rock band!

Toby is next. I don’t know if I should break out the lube or pour another drink! I am so pissed at Lukas. “I will find you boy!”

Ok, Toby Time – “Ello Mate”… Killers? Good start! Looking hot, sounding great! The chick in the audience just came! Yes, you are the real deal! Sorry Dilana, you being crippled and talking shit… Toby has it in my book. I am not sure Narcotics Anonymous is convinced though. You are a little too “POP” and “GAY” for them. They are having visions of “Wham” right about now! Now, your original! Oh, great start. Sounding a bit like “Oingo Boingo”, with the “Oh Oh’s” but… Everyone is on their feet giving you the fist dance! Tommy just winked at Gilby, he wants you mate! Man the house band can rock! I think Tommy nutted again! OMG…. Tommy just grabbed your ass dude, you’re in! Ask for a bonus, I hear that he is hung like “Mr. Ed”. (Dave is jealous btw). Dave is sporting wood! Dave love’s you! Tommy came again! Gilby is foaming at the mouth! Jason is on you! Congrats! See you on tour! Sorry Dilana! Get your leg fixed and we’ll talk!

Andi, get over Ryan’s demise..stop puking, and working so hard, and get the fuck back here next week. This flying solo sucks!

xoxo!
mike

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Hiatus Time...


Hi Friends...

There is not enough time in the day lately for me to complete all of my tasks, concentrate on school, finish my consulting jobs, and be the mom/wife I should be. So, at this time I am bidding you farewell....

As if...

Actually, I am taking a little hiatus to get some things caught up...I will be back...just not sure when!

So, feel free to talk amongst yourselves in the comments, throw a party, wreck the place a bit, and check out my archives!

See you soon!

xoxo~!
andi