Tales from the Couch..Sexy Mike Style..

I am so happy tonight..finally, after the negotiations..and rug burns mind you, I have FINALLY got my LOVE, Sexual Advisor, Partner in Crime and Best-Blogger-Friend…Sexy Mike on the Couch!!
So, let’s get this party started!!

Andi: Hey Baby, How are you?
Mike: My, my do you look hot tonight?
Andi: Thank you. So do you. But, seriously here is your first question..If you were a body of water which would you be and why?
Mike: A body of water huh? I would have to be the Gulf of California or as the locals call it the “Sea of Cortez”. My reason is, I am warm like the Mexican sea. Not to mention that I would be close to Cabo. Other things come to mind but? Is this a “G” rated session?
Andi: Is anything G rated with us? LMAO..Alright, Favorite memory?
Mike: You mean besides you and me the other night? OK, I know… I’ll try and be serious. I really have many. I can not put my finger on just one, but the first thing that comes to mind is flying back from Kuwait after Desert Strom and landing in New York to change planes. We were in full desert uniforms and as we walked the corridor, everyone stood and started clapping. I remember tears running down my face.
Andi: Babe, the other night was nothing…what about three months ago? Um, okay moving right a long…Promise or Deceit?
Mike: Is this a trick question? This is one of those analysis questions huh? I would have to say “Promise”. A promise is sacred and a test of ones true self. It is getting hot in here, can I take this off?
Andi: Ah, I was done with your analysis months ago. You know that! So, here is the next one…If you could choose a name for yourself other than your name now, what would it be and why?
Mike: Jean-Luc Picard! No, really… This is a tough one. I like my birth name of Michael James. I don’t like that there are so many Mikes or Michaels and most of them are ex boyfriends and from what I hear dicks. Sorry, I can not picture me being anyone but Mike.
Andi: Actually, I can not picture you as anyone else either…but Michael James, hmmm..I’ll remember that next time I scream your name out…you may like it! Okay, Guilty Pleasure? Besides me of course!
Mike: Oh, you are so bad Andi! I have many really, but I will share with you one of my biggest secrets. I adore Oreo cookies. They are like an aphrodisiac to me. Really. Got any? I’ll prove it! Lucky Charms are a close second.
Andi: Damn it! And, all the Oreo’s are gone in this office! But, I will make a trip to the store when we are done! Until then, If you were one of the main characters in a novel who would you be and why?
Mike: Oh, that is easy, Romeo. I think my boy was too quick to throw down on the poison. I mean, sure he loved her, sure she was hot, but as far as he knew she was dead and there were many more maidens in the kingdom. I could have set the stage for R&J II
Andi: Oh, I would buy tickets for that one! Alright, Oral?
Mike:Is that a question or a proposition?
Andi: It is a question..propositions happen after the couch session!
Mike: Yes, Oral. I love it. Both to receive and to partake in. The truth of the matter is, I would much rather put the time and effort performing orally on someone. It is ore satisfying and I enjoy it so much more. Do we need a break?
Andi: Break? Why do I look flustered now..or can you tell I am in need of a panty change now? Let’s just get this done so we can get back to our negotiation process! Hmmm..okay, the one thing you have to do before you leave the house and why?
Mike: You are evil! Yes, I have a mild case of OCD. I gotta go around the house and make sure that everything is turned off. Iron, Stove, extinguishable. It is pathetic. I have turned around and went back home because I thought that I may have missed something.
Andi: Oh, Babe..you are NOT evil. I kind of like your mild compulsion and attention to details! Trust me, they make you extremely desirable in many ways! So, here is a scenario:
You and I are invited to pick the new lead singer for SuperNova. We are in Southern California, and Tommy Lee tells us if we can agree on one person to front their band, and actually believe we both picked the right person then we get a free trip to Jamaica—fully paid for three weeks.Although the trip is enticing, and you would love to be alone with me drinking rum for three weeks, you are concerned that we can not agree and you refuse to alter your decision. What would you do to make sure that we agree, win the trip, make the right decision for SuperNova, and get to drink rum together for three weeks?? How would you go about it, and what strategies would you use?

Mike: I should have seen this one coming. Well you know my pick and I know that you will never agree to pick her. I do like rum, and the thought of you and me alone in Jamaica is enough to sport wood. So, I would take your choice and my choice and get them to sing for us alone, one on one with no band. They would have to sing the songs we gave them as many times as it took for us to agree. I we still could not come to one choice, I’d either try and bribe Tommy with some crack or attempt to whore you out to SuperNova to get to go on the trip without you! Ouch! I am just playing.
Andi: Fucker! I bet I could pimp you out first! Besides, you know exactly what I need to give into you! *wink*
Andi: Final Thoughts?
Mike: This was fun. It was nice to finally meet you with clothes on and in your office. People have no idea that you’re a lot hotter in person! I am a bit disappointed though, I am just getting warmed up…. How much for another session?
Andi: I’ll put it on your tab!

Happy HNT Thursday!
Xoxo~
Andi

PS~WTF, happened? Did Ryan REALLY go home last night on ROCKSTAR? I am mourning today…this is the most outrageous thing since Chris Daughtery left AI!

Kickin it with Mike and Andi...

Woo Hoo…it is ROCKSTAR: SuperNova Review time, and you are kickin it..Mike and Andi Style!! So, it is the night that the rockers sing the songs that America wants to hear!

Our thoughts on Dilana’s Stupidity…
Mike: What did you say to the press? Where the fuck have I been?
Andi: OMG, Mike were you not paying attention?….Dilana, you are one dumb bitch! Bagging on your friends..who the fuck cares if you apologize..serious! Boo hoo..who cares about your trying to make amends..please! I don’t care if you can sing..all I am is blinded by your being a bitch!! And, nice little tantrum..you are lucky as hell that you did not cut Magni's eye….you can't fix it…you suck!!

Our thoughts on Lukas…
Mike: Lukas, even though you look like you were just released from the Methadone clinic, you rocked Nirvana. My girl nailed it better a few weeks back, but props!
Andi: Lukas…. sweet little FAS man or as Mike calls you the man from the Methadone Clinic…now, here you are doing my fav… Nirvana tune! Lithium!! So, I kind of digged the lounge style beginning..and I have to admit, you rocked this harder than the devil version Dilana did..you definitely found the friends in your head today! But, word of advice..got to do something about the hair..you look like a rooster died on your head!

Our thoughts on Magni…
Mike: Magni, once you got done dogging all of the other guys and convincing us that you’re truly hot, you took another favorite of mine by LIVE and brought the chills. I like the way all the guys were touching you once you hit the audience. You must have convinced them that you’re hot. I, for one do not see it-- (and obviously Andi does) but singing that song the way you did might make me temporarily switch teams!
Andi: Magni…rockin it to Live..OMG, you make me wanna cum when I hear you wail those tunes acoustically!! Your performance was so great! I love you man, and this was one of my favorite performances of yours!! And, I know this is Mike’s favorite song, next to “our song--Black”…

Our thoughts on Ryan…
Mike: Ryan, since you’re going back to the piano to try and save your ass, I will tell you that from the first note you were off key. When you dared to jump off of the piano, I winced expecting a broken leg! Even with the GoodWill Thrift Store look and the un-combed hair, I could not feel ya. You ended by humping and nutting on the piano, not attractive from where I was sitting. I knew you were gone. Yes, Dave loves you but he is horny! And, fucken Andi..I dont know what she is thinking! Just sayin..
Andi: OMG, Mike, what the hell! Ryan is HOT!! And then, Ryan and Coldplay..Clocks, I hate this song to begin with, but damn please fuck me on that piano, or at least let Mike and I borrow it for a little while!! I loved the dramatic beginning, and I loved your getting up and rocking out to the crowd and then sliding up across the piano…oh, did I mention I want to do you on the piano or anywhere else..seriously! Um, and Mike will you please take pictures..I will need souvenirs!


Our thoughts on Storm…
Mike: Storm, I have really dogged you in the past, but I went into this hoping that you would nail this song. Another fav… I was nervous at the start until Toby jumped in. From there you rocked. For the first time I could see you in front of Narcotics Anonymous. On another note, the dress? Where did you find that? Not attractive, it highlighted the fact that you got some big ass knobby looking legs
Andi: OMG, I love you seriously…mmmm..and this new pic of you is HOT! I agree, I am not a fan of that dress. Wow, when Toby came out..I blanked out for a minute? Mike, did you notice the sexual seizure I went into…OMG, could you imagine a Storm and Toby sandwich! Oh, and she sounds great too…pass the Dilantin….I need to control these tremors!

Our thoughts on Toby…
Andi: Oh, they showed the naked Toby again…mmmm…Andi likes! Anyway, I love Rebel Yell, and I love you seriously! Mmm..your voice rocked, and you are hot!! That naughty little look in your eyes is just scrumptious..seriously~but, all that aside..you have one of the best chances to front this band! But, hell why couldn’t I be up there on the stage with ya?
Mike: Toby, you looked great as always and you brought it! Great job and killer song. Dilana, meet your competition!! Oh, and Toby, you made a few fans bringing those hootchies up on stage with ya! And, I thought Andi was going to cum herself!

Our thoughts on Dilana’s Tune…
Andi: Um, I love Mother, Mother..your voice rocked, your look was frightening…your jump rocked, your bass rocked. I still think you are a cunt because of your comments and bad attitude, and that move of putting your leg on the shoulder of the bassist..was scary. I hope he checks for crabs..seriously!
Mike: Dilana, you came on with that scary hotness. A flying V? OMG. Once again, “Will you marry me?” I hate the song the people made you do, but you pulled it off as always and with the several ass shots the camera guy provided, I am putty in your hands.

Last Words from Mike….
NEWS FLASH – Tommy Lee has stolen Paris Hilton’s pink cowboy hat! News at 11. OBSERVATION – The house band has to be one of the most rocking fucking bunch of musicians I have ever seen on a stage at one time. They need to form their own band!

Last Words from Andi…
Um, I am lost…I just saw Toby and Storm on stage, and I saw Ryan rock out spralled out on a piano~! OMG, pass the towel, and Mike lets go hit it cause now I am horny!!

xoxo~
Andi and Mike

PS~ Alright, you have seen him rant, and rave…you have seen his hot body and asked for him to do a calendar…but now, you get to see him on my couch! Yep, sexy Mike has agreed to let this chica put him on the couch (after several hours of sexual favors)…so stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment of Tales from the Couch…Sexy Mike style….

Southern Smarts..

I am back! Hello y'all! Woo Howdy...alright, so I am a little Southern now..officially..alright sorta! I have learned a lot on my trip to the great Commonwealth of Kentucky...so, I thought I would share with ya'all...

1) All men in the South sound sexy as hell with those accents..YUM!
2) There are a hell of a lot of red-heads and strawberry blondes!
3) Men wear undershirts under their button up shirts..even their polos!
4) A man will open the door for you even if he has to go out of his way to do so.
5) You get called ma'am a lot.
6) The homeless will give you flowers before they ask you for money.
7) There is a church every few yards; and none of them were Catholic.
8) Women actually do their hair...and accesorize; even at 6 in the morning.
9) The state fair is a HUGE deal!
and the best thing I learned in KY..

They have something called Derby Pie...it is an orgasm in a pie crust! OMG, pecans and chocolate...all gooey together..I ate it for dinner for three nights! YUM!

Happy Monday Friends!
xxoo~
Andi

PS~I wanted to give a shout out to the little military men in the Chicago airport. They just got back from Iraq, and were getting ready to go back to San Diego. They asked if they could take a pic with us because we were the first women they had seen that smiled at them. Of course we took our pics with them, and gave them all a hug and kiss, thanking them for their service. It was very touching to see people who actually are fighting for us..thank you!!

Tales from the Couch..Hottie Jon Style..

Alright, here we are..it is Tales From the Couch time…and this week, I am honored to present to you one of my favorite blogger friends, and my new crush…Jon! So, hang on and check this hottie out!

Andi: Welcome Gorgeous..Damn, thanks for being here!
Jon: First of all I want to tell you how honored I feel being allowed to be on your couch.
Andi: Ah, babe it is an honor to have you here. Wow, you have gorgeous eyes..anyway before I can't concentrate..Leather or Lace?
Jon: Thats not an easy question to answer. Both look damn good on a woman. I think I lean toward lace because it means you’re that much closer to being naked. I would love to see you in either… or help you out of either.
Andi: Ah, babe..you could help me out of anything!! Anytime! Alright, next question..
If you could have dinner with one famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and why?
Jon:There are so few famous people that I would really want to have dinner with. The reasons vary. On one hand I would love to meet Adam Sandler because I hear he is one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but I don’t know. I tend to gravitate toward music all the time, so I think I would like to have dinner with Paul McCartney. I think he is one classy guy. I also want to get his take on Michael Jackson and hear him rant about his future ex-wife. Can I change my answer to Hugh Hefner?
Andi: LOL, no..you can not change! But, if you want to mess around in The Grotto sometime, let me know! Alright, what is your favorite month and why?
Jon: Not an easy choice either girl. I think they all have good things about them, but I think I would go with December. Not because of Christmas really, but because that is when I get to see most if not all of my immediate family every year. Sure this is because of the holiday, but I am not into Christmas that much.
Andi: Nice answer…love a man who loves his family! Alright, Tell me a deep dark secret.
Jon:Now you’re just getting nosey. I don’t have a whole lot of secrets. I am a pretty open guy. I’ll tell people just about anything. Are you ready? I had a 3 some. Me, a lady I used to work with, and one of my best friends. Yes, a guy. Before you even ask, No, he and I never “crossed swords”. She was into both of us, so we both got into her. It’s amazing what some people will do when they are going through a divorce.
Andi: Hey, what you do with your sword is your deal! Nice! Okay, um here is a scenario..
You see me every morning when we are at Starbucks. I am a stranger to you, but you have noticed you are becoming very attractive to me. What do you do to make me notice you?
Jon: Well, I know I would smile and say “Good morning”, but past that I think it depends on if you’re having your coffee there or to go. I think if you’re having it there I would ask you if I could join you at your table. If “to go” then time is of the essence, so I would probably try to think of something witty to say about seeing you tomorrow.
Andi: Wow, if you would sit at the table with me if I drank my latte there..then I would never get it “to go” again! Lol, okay now on a serious note..Least favorite memory?
Jon: Did you really want to ask me this? This is easily thoughts about the evening that I found out my sister was really sick. She died just a few hours later. It is one of the few things that can bring me to tears just with a thought. Can you pass me a tissue please?
Andi: *Passing tissue..and giving hug* Wow, I am so sorry..okay, let me see. Um, what legacy do you wish to leave for your family and friends?
Jon:I think a legacy of good times that we would have even without having a reason other than just being together. It seems no matter how mundane the circumstances of a get together are we would always make it fun and full of laughter… and beer. But for my kids I would like to leave a legacy of respect for themselves and others as well as knowledge of how to better take care of their personal finances. That was something I did not learn from my folks. They’ll need it especially knowing how their mother is. Don’t get me started.
Andi: Wow, nice! Okay, describe yourself as a dinner entrée.
Jon: I am a perfectly cooked juicy 16 ounce T-Bone steak, cooked medium. Just enough pink so you know I am tender and juicy and full of flavor. I melt in your mouth with every bite. Would you like to devour me now?
Andi: Um, speechless now and totally giving up on being a vegetarian! Wow, yeah..I think I could devour you..um, as I fantasize about that…Pain or Gain?
Jon: I don’t know. Can you have much gain without some pain? I think they go hand in hand. I believe that to achieve any meaningful gain you will definitely have hurdles to jump over. Plus if you make a mistake maybe someone with give you a spanking.
Andi: Mmm..spanking and devouring you..omg, you are killing me here! Alright, final thoughts?
Jon: When I first volunteered for this I hardly knew you. I think when you don’t know someone it is easier to tell your secrets, fears and anxieties. Then I got to know you a little, and the thought of sitting on your couch started to make me nervous. I think the last couple days you’ve been buttering me up to make me feel at ease about exposing myself.
Andi: LMAO..uh oh, you are on to me! Damn, you are great..no wonder I have a crush! Thanks babe!

Alright, so there he is! Check him out at http://jonslifecontinued.blogspot.com/

Xoxo~
Andi

PS~I will be back after my trip to the Southland…woo hoo!

Random, Review Ramblings..RockStar Style..

Andi:OMG..Dilana was naked! Wow, I was impressed..but I wanna see Ryan naked next!
Mike: Damn Andi, what is it with you and that guy? Seriously! Has anyone noticed that Brooke is Prego?
Andi: Patrice, her original song..Beautiful Things..didn’t hate it..didn’t love it. I still think she sounds like she would rock as a solo performer. She still reminds me of Alanis. Hmmm..I wonder if she would go down on you in a theatre too?
Mike: Patrice needs her highlights redone! With the guitar again? Is this a Go Go’s reunion? Stop looking at your hands while playing guitar! Again, the eyebrows are uneven…Gilby’s dog is wincing at your voice! Just because Tommy is high and getting into it doesn’t mean you’re good! Why is your belt buckle on your hip? Is that in style? Just asking? Dave’s a fag!
Andi: Fuck, someone pass Mike the Haldol, your getting a little too fashionista on me! Good thing we are doing this review naked!
Mike: Whatever! Tommy is a brother now and can not wear his hat straight. Jason is wearing Michael Jackson Gloves!
Andi: *Rolling eyes at Mike*… Smells Like Teen Spirit..and Magni..yeah, I love Nirvana, and get pissed when someone ruins a good tune. I felt like I was at a cover band performance. Not my fav!
Mike: Does Nirvana get proceeds from this show? How long has it been since Kurt ate a barrel? Magni has the Gangster look tonight, watch out, and with the gay keyboards backing him he looks real bad ass! Honestly, I could sing this song better! If you thought that you could not understand Kurt, check out Magni (http://www.rockstar.msn.com/) Sorry Magni, I had high hopes for you, but you’re outta there!
Mike: Dilana has some knobby knees BTW. Tommy giving rock star advice? Yeah right..he spent most of his career in fucken rehab. If Dave wants to see something broken..What about his relationship with Carmen?
Andi:Shhh..Ryan is up now..with an original song..I lost it when you told me that I could take my clothes off! Holy crap babe..you rocked!! OMG, I can see me cumming over and over to your CD, and not just because you are fine, but because you rock the vocals too! And Mike, he got laid..what the fuck! Were you there?? I wanna be there!
Mike: Ryan (You will not be a star) – Again an 80’s keyboard ridden glam song. And it is his own….. Bye-Bye Ryan. His tongue is red like he just sucked on a Now – n – Later. Ryan, your guitar is outta tune mate! You’re now not only sucking but making the house band look bad. You deserve a ball slapping for that! What is up with the Shinade O’Conner scream? Again with the scream…Ryan, brush your hair!
Andi: OMG, Mike..clean your ears!
Mike: What? Stop thinking with your hormones and listen! You seriously think that guy got laid? Only if he was a VIP at the Donkey Show this week! Maybe Zayra hooked him up.
Andi: Whatever, pass me a beer..and here comes, my girl Storm..Woo Hoo..Cryin by Aerosmith..mmmm..she looks hot as hell! And she rocked this song! OMG..now I am having visions of a 3some with her and Ryan. Wow, maybe I am just thinking with my clit!
Mike: Oh, Andi..you really need to get some! Maybe we can take care of some business after this show is over! Anyway, as for Storm, (Check out her big ass Jawbone) Getting brave with a great Aerosmith song…. Good luck shaky eyes! Oh she got the Hello Kitty glitter kit from Zayra! Hmmm…I am undecided…she sounds OK, but is scary to look at! Sorry Storm, I tried to get into you, but the fact is you just can not sing! Bye Bye! You’re pretty sexy though!
Andi: LMAO..oh, my… Mike!! Come on, she is hot as hell and she wailed! Alright, so we can talk about my not getting any later; not during the review..so, moving onto..Dilana!
Mike: Dilana! – Every breath you take… OK, I am Scared! Nice look! What is up with the eye lashes? Great stage presence! Looking like a Goth Cindy Lauper! She’s got it! She has already won! Again! Great show! Oh Dilana, the mom story brought tears to my eyes!
Andi: I will admit since the exorcism, I love her voice. I am not digging the outfit or the weird ass eyelashes..those scared me too! Quick, Mike..let’s go to our happy place! Anyway, she rocked that. Not sure that was my fav of the night though! Ah, and her mom story was sweet!
Andi: Mmm..Toby and Layla….did not really dig the arrangement! But, you know I see those blue eyes and hear that hottie voice, and I just melt! I think it was kind of cool. And, oh my..he took his shirt off! How about you Mike? What you think?
Mike: Layla? As you know Andi this is a favorite of mine! So, he starts out and I think, “Don’t fuck it up!” Too late you already have! Oops I was wrong, you’re bringing it in a weird Aussie way! Dude, did that shit in your eye hurt? Took off the shirt, bitches screaming? Why? Got the audience in it, nice pull! You got the sketcher hop down… You’re a hairy little bugger aren’t you? Great job? Thunder from down under…whatever..Andi wipe the drool off your chin!
Andi: Oops..sorry about that..*wipes drool off chin* Alright, it is Lukas..The Killers? Nice sunglasses..we still know you have fetal alcohol..so don’t even try to hide it behind the shades! The song was good, but I am seeing you fall to the lower levels now. Sorry man!
Mike: The Killers? Looking like a played out lounge lizard Or George Michael in “Gotta Have Faith”…. Dude, your look, your voice and your dreams of being lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous are over! Get some more peroxide for you hair bitch! Lukas, you are a disappointment! I thought that you had a chance… Go hook up with Zayra in TJ! And, of course Dave loved you. What the hell happened? When did you get an accent? Do you not realize the other rockers are dogging you and your fake ass accent?

And the predictions are…
Andi: I seriously think that Ryan is gonna take it! I think he has been an underdog, but is taking the band by surprise. And, besides if Ryan becomes the lead singer then Tommy can have his left-overs!
Mike: Dilana is the winner. I’ll bet anyone on this! Alright, pass the beer and turn down the lights!

Reporting live and naked on the ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review…

xoxxo!
Mike and Andi

PS~Tomorrow, stay tuned for Tales From the Couch..Hottie Jon Style..wait till you see this one!!

Shower me..

There is a place where I find solace
I can feel the water falling on my body; so invigorating
I rest my hand against the wall and feel the warmth between my legs
The water pools down my back
The steam rises up around me
I reach the point of no return quickly
Releasing the stress
Releasing the frustration
Thinking of you
Wanting you
Needing you
Shower me


xoxo~
andi

PS~Please go check out this site ! http://edtimestories.blogspot.com/ ..my sweet friend Edtime has been on a writing spree, and I can honestly say he really knows how to take my breath away...wow!

Andi and Mike Tuesday...

RockStar Review..my fav! And, you all have to bear with me..because I have been at happy hour for several hours tonight so…this will be ROCKSTAR: SuperNova review..drunken Andi and Mike style…….(hmm…bet he is drunk too) So, let’s reintroduce ourselves as….Drunken Andi and Drunken Mike Style….

Did someone say strip..as in strip down? And naked Toby..I almost could not even watch any longer because I was in need of a little alone time in the shower…but then I realized it was just an acoustic hour..oh well, there is still always the vision in my head!

Andi did you say, Toby naked? Partying in Vegas? Hung over song selection? To top it all off, unplugged with a string section? Yes folks, it is "Rock Star Super Nova!"

Yep, Mike, this is gonna be a fun night..here we go…

Andi:Anyway, Zayra…original song acoustically…all I can say is that she was NOT in a cat suit this week. The crepe paper skirt and sparkly bra was not really a big difference though. I hate to say it girl, but really..that song reminded me of something I would listen to at happy hour drinking margaritas in a little Mexican restaurant (in TJ at the Donkey Show)..not Super Nova worthy my friend…someone pass me a damn bullet if she is not voted off this week!
Mike: One would think that if they had the opportunity to play their own song for Narcotics' Anonymous that they would give it their all and bring it. Zayra baby, I thought that I was wrong. I thought that you would finally be able to validate yourself and have a shot. "Spanish"? You come out and sing a Spanish ballad? What in the fuck were you thinking? You looked hot until they panned in and focused on the "Playskool" glue and glitter set you used on those hairy little "Monchichi" arms of yours. Do you really think that you could front this band? They are not "Menudo." Word of advice. Get your shots while you're still in the states and make your way back to TJ and the Donkey shows.

Andi: Magni and Bowie...not your best, not you’re worst. But, I have to admit I did feel like I was sitting in a karaoke bar..not digging the white suit or Starman..sorry!
Mike: Magni, dude, did you party too hard in Vegas. I know that it is a big step from Iceland, but "Bowie"?

Andi: Patrice..rocking the Police? I got a message in a bottle for you…you just are not rocking it like you used to babe…I think it is time to think about a solo career. And by the way, I am sending an SOS that I do not have to sit through one more of Zayra’s performances! But, you Patrice, I dig but I don’t think you are SuperNova lead singer material!
Mike: Patrice, you flat out blew. You didn't hit one note correctly and your skank wear is growing old. Change your drawers Bitch and bring it or be gone.

Andi: Lukas, Hero?? You were my hero after that performance..you have talent babe! Keep it up. I would love to see you without the eye shadow though.
Mike: Lukas, I thought that your voice sucked. Do not get a big head because you got props from the ex-junkies. Remember, you were the first good act of the night. That is not saying a lot considering. You need to lay off the "Hello Kitty" watercolor make up set and concentrate on your performances. At one point I thought you had a chance, but now I have visions of you picking up trash in NYC with "Boy George".

Andi: Storm, I will survive…damn, you are one sexy bitch, but I am kind of missing the slutty little rock-slut you were. I have to admit, I agree with the boys..it was not a great performance. But your vocals rock, and you are still hot as hell!
Mike: Storm? Have you ever done the "Hustle"? Gloria Gaynor? "I will survive"? On this night that was a huge Oxymoron. No wonder Studio 54 got shut down. Kudos on keeping the shaker eyes in check however.

Andi: Toby rocking out with Gilby..and rocking out to Peter Gabriel, um not bad..still thinking of you naked, and I totally digged you playing the bongos..mmmm…*reaching for toy again*
Mike: Toby, I respect you for getting nude to play with Gilby, kinda gay, but there is nothing wrong with that, but I hate that song. With that said, you made it bearable and "Sleepless without Carmen" thought that it was "Dope". You are the last hope for any male making the band, so bring your game from here on out mate!

Andi: I can feel my cumming..for you tonight Ryan, OMG you rocked that Phil Collins song..wow, oh wow..just sayin, you did a great job and I am agreeing with Dave, best performance of the night!
Mike: Ryan. Oh Ryan. When you came out on stage sounding like "Happy Gilmore" looking like you were auditioning for the "Phantom of the Opera", I knew this was your week to go. Then you did something I had never seen before. You sang! A great vocal performance and a great song. If you wanted to seal your fate you would have hit the drums at the pinnacle of the song, but you were strong boy! Kinda too late however.

Andi: Dilana, you did a great job with Cat in the Cradle..I like you, especially since the exorcism but you sound the same..I am not sure if you are SuperNova worthy..
Mike: Last but surely not least and as "Mr. Dope, everyday is Halloween, back from the dead" put it, "The best performance of the night". You said it best yourself Dilana. "I told you guys, I am the one"! Dilana, congrats, you are the new lead singer of "Narcotics' Anonymous" AKA Super Nova. You not only once again put on a great show, but you nailed a classic which happens to mean a lot to me and is my number one all time favorite song! Despite the Junkie Shuffle, greasy hair and all of the shit in your face and god knows where else, I would marry you as long as I could hear that devilish voice nightly!

And the Andi and Mike actually agree and love it when you are naked..or at least when you get naked to win a song award goes to Toby.

And of course the award for please go home before our ears bleed out and the donkey misses you and needs to go on anti-depressants award goes to Zayra!

There you go friends..stay tuned! And the pic tonight is of Dilana..the Devil herself! Still can not believe Mike would marry you!!

xoxo~
Drunken Andi and Mike

They say it like it is..

Sometimes all we need to know about life..we can learn about through television. Sad, I know..but check these quotes out...

On Love..
Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.

On Intimacy..
I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

On Pain..
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

On Adulthood..
We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

On Standing your Ground..
Don't look at me like that, like you've seen me naked.

If only had I payed more attention to television earlier...

xoxo!
andi

PS~Stay tuned for ROCKSTAR review and the next installment of Tales from the Couch..

Tales from the Couch..KJ Style..

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Its been a while...

Its been awhile since I have thought about you
Your smell
The way you look when you get of the shower
Water glistening on your body
Its been awhile since I have thought of your laugh
Your grin
The way you smile when you look at me
Its been awhile since I have felt your arms around me
Your chest pressed against me
The way you hold me tight
Its been awhile...

Miss you T...

xoxo!
andi

Storytime...

Alright folks..I am pre-occupied and PMSing. I am tired and un-inspired..so, please take over today. I leave you with this topic....tell me a story about this picture. Is Donald really as excited as he looks? Inquiring minds want to know!

xoxo~
andi

She Said..He Said..Rockstar Review..

Oh Friends..I have a very special post for you all! Yes, Sexy Mike and myself have decided to collaborate this week and give you our ROCKSTAR: SuperNova review..right here at Andi Central! So, hold onto your shirts and hats and do the naked happy dance...and for those of you that do not watch the show..read anyway...this is some funny shit!

She said: Dilana rockin it with Gilby...The Who..wailing like the exorcised singer you are! Rock on sista!
He Said:Dilana you are a hot lesbo bitch! Really. I was laying here in my drawers sporting major chub. With Gilby behind her playing the guitar, I thought for a minute there was a GNR reunion. Dilana could pull off Axl. Would love for her to do a GNR song. She found some extensions somewhere and it looked hot. Add the red leather pants, bandana and that voice and folks, I introduce the new lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous!

She Said:Mother, Mother send Jill home! She is seriously annoying I do not care what she sounds like anymore! And, Dave..Carmela has way more class than her..no comparison! BTW, nice junkie shuffle stage dive..give it up!
He Said:Jill, your make up was bad girl. It looks like you broke out the Barbie glamour kit and went to town. Your voice was mediocre and your performance was, OK. Did you notice when you jumped into the audience, they all cleared? If you would have stage dived you'd have road rash.

She Said:Ryan, I see more than a Red Door..you are so fucken sexy..even if you were dressed like it was Halloween!! That was great! I see SuperNova in your future!!
He Said:Then comes Ryan. Dude, I have said it over and over. Do not murder the Stones. For your performance tonight, you will receive an ass whooping! What was up with the wig Rupal? Your voice was shaky and you took a perfectly good song and turned it into a Goth anthem. You suck! And by the way, remember the words to the song before you get on stage. Bitch! I think it was Tommy who laid ya! Just saying.

She said:Storm, sexy bitch..great rendition of Queen..um, btw when you are done with this ROCKSTAR thing..look me up! You are just as good to look at as you are to listen too! Mmm...
He Said: Storm looked like she was stoned out of her mind. The eyes started to bug but she got them under control. She nailed the song and the performance. I was digging her until the whole "I'll Spank You Tommy" crap. Can anyone say Hepatitis C? Beyond that she brought the Hootchie wear tonight.

She said:Zayra..um, I had no idea that Reynolds Wrap made gold foil..but apparently they do..cause you were wearing it. And I do not care if Magni was playing guitar or not..you murdered that song. And finally, make sure you give Slash his hat back before you leave on that bus back to TJ...because damn, you NEED to go!
He Said:Zayra – Girl, as hot as you are, and with the sharing of the Camel Toe tonight, I still must say that you ain't got it. What is up with putting Magni on the guitar? That was confusing. Dude, you have a talent, but I can not put my finger on what it is. But hey, there is still the Donkey Shows in TJ!

She said: Josh...Stone Temple Pilots..and Tommy Lee....still not buying it brother..just not seeing you as the front man even though I dig the way you sang tonight. But, your boggle head drives me nuts...I could see you on a dash-board of an old lady cadillac with like a siamese cat boggle statue.
He Said: Josh, I must admit you brought it with the STP song. Tommy was so excited and hyper he had to get up and play with ya. You held your own, although there were a few moments that you and the band were off. Just saying. Over all the performance was great and enough to get Scott Weiland back on Horse.

She said:Magni, I think I had my first orgasm for an Iceland dude..that rocked and you were fucken sexy as hell..nice job! Mmmm..I see an encore tomorrow night!
He Said:Magni, with his family in tow, brought it with a great song by a great band. Live is one of those bands that never gets enough props. You took them and their song to a whole new level. Sitting here barely clothed, I got Goosebumps over my body! Good job.

She said:Patrice..um, I was confused..bad Lennon rendition..and not digging the pig tails..sorry, babe!
He Said:Hey Patrice, you know that John Lennon is rolling in his grave. They should let Chapman out so he can whack you! What was up with the "Go Go" 80's look tonight? And who did your eyebrows? You look like Boy George for Christ sakes.

She said: Lukas, I am not sure what is going on dude..seriously, I think you are turning into a bit of a one trick pony..same ol' same ol'. Sorry dude, I think the special bus is on its way to get you real soon! I dont see finale time for you like I used to.
He said: Lukas, I saw you and thought that you had just exited a bathroom in a park with George Michael. Your voice was OK, but you came across as a weak ass Dr. Frank-in-Furter. I started thinking you were just a confused gay, but now you have me wondering if you're a child molester. I had faith in you. You're losing it! For whatever reason all of the judges are nice tonight and obviously deaf!

She said: Toby.. babe..seriously reaching for the toy! Not only are you fine as hell, but you made me want to burn down a house! Yum, fucken yum...
He said: Toby my man, you nailed Talking Heads. I wanted to go start a fire after that performance. Dude, I'd just might do you. You reminded me of Michael Hutchenson of INXS. Dude, do not get into the freaky sex shit. You had Tommy dancing on the sidelines like a little school girl. Although the Megaphone is played out, it was great. I see that you were digging Zayra's toe too! Dave gave you shit, but he isn't getting any and Dennis Rodman is bagging Carmen again!

So, the award for..Mike and Andi FINALLY agree and want to set fires and fuck you goes to..
Toby!

Stay Tuned Folks..Mike and I are just getting started!

xoxo!
andi and mike

Saturday Song...

Hmmm..I just realized that my blog is going to hell..I have no focus anymore. I guess I will have to do something to revamp it. So, leave me your comments of what you want more of, and I will see what I can do. In the meantime..here is a Saturday Song to keep you all entertained...

oxoxox!
andi


"All I Ever Wanted" By Train

You were my ticket outta here
And I was your dream come true
You gave me everything I ever wanted
Except for you

I convinced my self that over don't mean over
And I convinced myself that I could fix it all
Two dreams collided maybe we got too excited for our own good

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding each other while the words all break it
Move on you know we'll be stronger in the end

Now I convinced myself that nothing could ever tear me away
And I convinced myself that we'd look back and laugh at this one day
Two lives collidin' baby
We got too excited for our own good

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding our breath while the truth all breaks it
Move on ya know we'll be stronger in the end

Hey wait hey don't you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
Hey wait hey don't you wanna hear what I have to say
Hey wait hey don't you know that this is where the strong go on

And all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
Was you

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding each other while the world tries to break us
Move on ya know we'll be stronger in the end

Hey wait hey don't you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
Hey wait hey don't you wanna hear what I have to say
Hey wait hey don't you know this is where the strong will go on

And all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
Was you

Tales from the Couch..Mongoose Style...

Sorry folks for posting this late! I had some technical issues! Anyway, check out my favorite furry little lawyer from the South..yes, I know, I always say I hate lawyers..but this little hottie changed my mind. Anyway, check out his site on my link list to the right..(G-Spot)

Enjoy the show!

Andi: Hi you sexy little furry guy! Thanks for sitting on my couch. Here is your first question. Describe yourself in one word.
Goose:Hmmm, one word is kinda difficult for me, considering that I get paid by the word...But, if I had to choose one...Complex....I am a complete anamoly...I don't pride myself on that fact, and it has made life very difficult for me, but it is true...There is no one in this world that knows everything about me...Possibly because I am always changing...I don't know.
Andi: Oh, my..I forgot..an attorney...one of the few I like of course. Maybe it is the hot southern accent. Okay, second question... If you were an ingredient in a salad what ingredient would you be and why?
Goose:Peppercorn...In small doses I am almost invisible to the pallat. Too much and I dominate an otherwise balanced meal...There is a perfect amount of seasoning, and exposure to the Goose that is tolerable..
Andi: Mental note to self ...dont ask Goose to pass the pepper. Next question.. Love or Lust?
Goose:Love...Lust is as attainable as the right look and the right circumstances...Love is difficult. Something that you can't just achieve, you have to constantly work on it.
Andi: Sexy answer...Okay, describe yourself as a tree.
Goose: Fabulous in the Spring, stoic in the Summer, and again changing my colors in fall...Winter is the dark period that follows the change...But every Spring I come back with the bright and colorful blossoms.
Andi: If you could watch your funeral, what would you want to hear about yourself in your eulogy?
Goose:He was good at whatever he tried...The law, music, and friendship...But most importantly, he was good at being a great Dad. His timing made him special.
Andi: And you are one sexy DILF..mmm..alright, Mountain climbing or Boating?
Goose:Mountain climbing. Challenge and success is measured with every step and stumble.
Andi: Favorite memory that you would like to share with Bloggerville?
Goose: Ooooooo, this is tough. I don't really share a whole lot that is down deep. But, I'll share a fun one. Power hour, Dave Matthews concert, and too few bathrooms makes for a funny walking Goose down the walkway at Riverbend Concert Series. Oh, and running through the streets of Atlanta after the Olympic Park Bombing was a bit exhilerating and will always stick in the back of my head.
Andi: Nice! Alright, you can read minds..what am I thinking?
Goose:Well, you can stop looking at my crotch for one. Um, you are wondering why I make things so damn difficult in my life.
Andi: Lol, well..sorry! I can not help it..you just look so damn hot laying on the couch! Okay, three of your best qualities?
Goose:I care....I care so much it hurts sometimes...I care about my job, I care about the kids that I am a guardian for, and I care what people think...I care until, I don't care about myself.
I can't hold a grudge...If someone apologizes to me, I will always forgive them. No matter, what they have done. That might also be a terrible weakness.
I have very few legitimate fears...I don't worry about life or death. I don't fear dangerous circumstances. Most of all, I don't fear others. Life is my great big chess match.
Andi: No, wonder I dig you! A lawyer who cares...mmm..okay, Friends with Benefits or One Night Stand?
Goose:I have a weakness for getting attached. I also don't think friends with benefits EVER ends good.
Andi: Sexiest thing about women?
Goose: A brain. If a woman can carry on a conversation about politics, music, and then switch gears to talk about football, I become like putty.
Andi: Mmmm..I bet you have turned women into putty too! Okay, any last thoughts or comments?
Goose:Life is too short to assume you know those even closest to you...We all have secrets. Not all that are bad, just some they have a hard time sharing. But those are the things that compose their makeup. Besides, that Andi, you are a great friend.
Andi: Interesting thoughts...Goose, you are a great friend too. Thank you for laying on my couch and letting me pick your sexy brain!

Well, stay tuned..next Tales from the Couch will be posted in the near future..and I promise my male readers a hottie MILF...(get ready for the lovely KJ).

Anyway, moving right along..tonight was the voting out of Diane on Big Brother..I still think Dr. Will should of gone..his ego makes me sick!

And lastly..OMG..Zayra did not even make the bottom 3? What the hell!! America, clean out your ears!!

xoxo!
andi

Tuesday Talent?

Alright my little friends..it is that time again..yep, it is ROCKSTAR review~again, those of you that just come here for the smut..check the archives or go google Storm Large (pictured to the left)..she is one hottie chick rocking out on ROCKSTAR!

Before I begin my weekly review let me update you on a few little things. So, far..still loving the job! Big Brother...pissed me off..Janelle...hello! Will..and Boogie..need to go!! And last but not least..tomorrow is Tales from the Couch...Mongoose Style..Yes, I have taken the little furry guy to the couch!! And surprisingly he was quite snuggly...anyway, stay tuned...

Now on to my ROCKSTAR review and rant...

Patrice...rocking out with T-Lee to Higher Ground...um, yeah it did not do it for me. And, please just because they tell you to rock out does not okay the bad hair-do and the junkie shuffle moves! I like you sweetie..but, come on! Dave Navarro was right..you disappeared with T-Lee rocking out behind you..

Josh...bad start! What the hell, did you not practice?? And once again what the fuck are you doing up there?? You still sound like a member of N'Sync..and I seriously think he forgot some words to Santaria...I'm right, aren't I Mike? Anyway, I say you need to go find Lance Bass and maybe you both can form a new band. I know the panel gave you props, but I think they were just reminaising about smoking a J...

Dilana...You rocked Bad Company's Cant get Enough...woo hoo..the exorcism was a success! Keep rocking like that babe and I will definitely buy your CD..

Toby...Nirvana..Pennyroyal tea..one of my fav's ...just became more of a fav! You rocked that babe..and damn are you ones sexy hottie! Nice move slow dancing with the blonde in the crowd..if that would of been me my knees would of buckled and I would of came in my pants..DAMN!

8675309...send her home please!! Zayra..you still look like a strung out hooker in TJ...after seeing your moves tonight, I can guarantee you used to work the donkey show! What the hell was that? And the cape and lingerie? Dave could not keep a straight face...and they needed a commercial break to think about what the hell to tell you...they must of consulted with their lawyers..because they were way too nice..(Mike, I swear if you defend her again..I will have to commit you for being legally insane) And Sug says that you are so disgusting that you make her not even want to touch her own pussy after seeing you bump and grind around the stage....stop fucking your boot heel and go back to the Donkey Show..Mike will be there in 2 weeks in his RV...when this trailer is rocking...right Mike??

Magni..not your best...not your worst...not impressed.

Jill..you need to go home too...I can not believe you took that cool song from the Breakfast Club *Dont you forget about me...* and screamed it the whole time..I think only my dog could hear some of those notes..Don't you forget about getting the fuck on the bus out of there...

Ryan..you make me swoon and it is not because you are so damn sexy..but it helps! Your rendition of REM made me want to Lose my Religion...damn, babe..great job playing the piano and still being able to wail. I love a man that is good with his fingers! Yum fucken Yum..I think you get the I want you to fuck me on a piano award tonight! Tommy was right..you will get laid with that performance!

Wow, I am glad to see Tommy back to his rank self...someone pass the Haldol over here!

Lukas..my little FAS man..Hole...Celebrity Skin..awesome! If only you sang it and not Courntey I may of liked it. The only thing is..the sparkly eye-shadow..not a pretty thing..please get rid of it. Although, I will admit..I got a little bored during your performance..not your best..but not the worse.

Did I mention that Zayra really needs to go home?

Storm..so sexy...great job...ch..ch..changes...your voice is awesome. And yes, I now have a crush. Check out her pic above...and Mike, her eyes are not bugging anymore...

Gilby...1-800-Supercuts..really, the hair is scary! And no more showing your chest..it scares me.

Dana...The Who...um, your voice is great..the black eye make-up still does not make you look naughty enough to front SuperNova...someone please give her an eight ball and fuck her in the ass..then we can make our judgement..if not, maybe try the AI try-outs??

So now friends..I leave the soap box for my sexy friend Mike to provide his rebutal..keep him in line since I am unable to access my comments until later in the day...

xoxo!
andi

PS~Um, after this afternoon..7 does not even come close to what happened tonight! Can not wait to tell you about it!!