Secrets of a Sexblogger

Its been a long time

2009-02-03T20:02:00.000-08:00

I was talking about my blog the other day..and someone asked me why I haven't posted anything in 2 years..and I could not tell them why. I had such an outlet when I was blogging..sexually, and mentally. I miss it. I am not sure if any of my old blog buddies are around, but maybe I can make new ones?

I am back!!
xoox-Andi

I NEED SEX..

2007-06-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

It has been too long..TOO, TOO, LONG..I NEED SEX...

Okay, now that I got that one out..seriously..I am going crazy. I have had no sex since there was snow on the ground..I am going crazy. I think I may go blind from all the masturbating...ugh!

Besides that, all is well. I am tired--as usual. The weather is getting nice, and I am going water skiing tomorrow. I am looking forward to being out on a boat that I am not forced to have to take care of.

Work is fabulous! I got a huge raise, and now I can buy the new car I have had my eye on. Yes, my sweet Jeep is now residing back at the lake with Chris..long story, but sometimes you have to compromise to be happy..perhaps I should of hired Goose to be my damn lawyer, and then I would not of had to compromise so much..

Otherwise, I do miss you all..and it is great to see that everyone is still out there in one way or another!!

BTW, did I mention that I NEED sex??

xoxo!
andi

Just Words....

2007-05-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how much can change is a year. Last year at this time, I was praying that I would get my new job...and here it is a year later and I have it. As most of you are aware, I moved out from my house in March. I like living alone, and mostly..I like living without Chris. I have been in the process of working out all of the paperwork stuff now, and in the next couple of weeks I should be divorced--officially. I am not sure how I feel about it. Some days, I think I should just suck it up and go back and pretend to be happy. I miss seeing my little one everyday. I also feel really bad because Chris is really miserable. But,then there is the part of me that feels so free finally. I finally feel like I can breathe. Of course, I also hate being alone and then hate being with someone. I feel like I am turning mentally ill...I know this is all normal, but does it really have to be this hard to be happy?

I hope you are all doing well. I will keep you updated as things progress...sheesh..I really need sex too~!

xoxo!
andi

She is Alive

2007-04-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am alive...I am, I am! Time has seemed to slip by so quickly, and I get little time on the computer any longer....so, please keep checking on me. Perhaps, one of these days I will be back on a more regular basis.

So, my new place is awesome....did I mention I love living closer to work and alone? I mean, I love my Chris..but I am still confused about whether or not we should be married...so far, I am leaning toward the "not anymore" scenario. I have to admit, I am a little worried about being single. I think I will enjoy it too much, and probably end up that way the rest of my life..maybe I can be a cat woman?? The only problem is that I am allergic to cats.

I have been watching American Idol this week...seriously? WTF, is Sanjaya still doing there? And, there are no hot men to even oogle over...what a waste of time!

Work...has been SO damn busy! I do not think I have been home more than 5 days in the last two months...seriously. Even as I write this I am 8 hours from home in a little place in California...and, I am missing the snow!

Sex..I have had none since January, and I have broke 2 vibes already...I think I burnt out the motors...blah!

Alright, enough updates..take care friends!

xoxo~
Andi

Welcome to my world...

2007-03-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends...

Just a quick update. I moved, and all is okay. My little one is adjusting, I am adjusting, and Chris is adjusting...it sucks friends, but I am so happy that you have all been supportive and I appreciate it more than I can tell you.

To my friends that I have lost contact with..I am sorry. I promise to make ammends as soon as I get my head together.

To my old friends I thought I lost..thanks for coming back into my life...I appreciate it more than you know.

And to everyone else...stay tuned...

xoxo!
andi

huh?

2007-03-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am sick...I am tired, and moving sucks! Seriously. When and how did I collect do much crap? The big move is this weekend. I realized that it is hard to find males friends who want to move big objects...why is that? So, the male friends who are going to move the big objects all have demands--from beer to well, you know. The beer I can do..the you know..well, not so much.

Anyway, I know this is boring...but I wanted to check in...thank you for your sweet thoughts and nice notes! You rock!

xoxo!
andi

Lost in Transition..

2007-02-25T19:55:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends..yes,I am here briefly to tell you that I am sorry I have been absent. Life has been challenging lately, and I am in the middle of transitioning into a new phase in life. I am seperating from my Chris, and moving into my own condo. Please do not feel sad, sometimes life takes us places we do not anticipate. Perhaps, a little space and time will tell me what I need to know...perhaps, it wont. Until then bare with me as I transtion into my new life....

xoxo!
andi

Therapy in a Towel

2007-02-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...my work is never-ending...

xoxo~andi

Surrender....

2007-02-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

no foreplay
no warning
no sexual energy exchanged
when I unzip your jeans
push them down
toss panties aside
lay you on the side of the bed
spread your pink lips
exposing your clit
slowly circling with my tongue
smelling your excitement
licking just the clit
up and down
two strokes a second
steady rhythm
feeling it grow
throbbing hard
sliding down to enter
tasting you fully
sucking your engorged lips
back to clit
strong relentless tongue
flicking against you
three male fingers enter
so tight and wet
licking, licking, licking
a finger probes your anus
slowly till halfway
feeling your contractions
wanting to cum
needing to cum
pleading to cum
begging to cum
hips like a carnival ride
wanting, needing, pleading, begging
fighting back and losing
surrendering to the wicked tongue

THANK YOU, YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY!

xoxo!
andi

What I want..

2007-01-31T20:13:00.000-08:00

You ask me what I want? Do I really need to answer that? Can't you tell by the look in my eyes?

You ask me what I need? Do I really need to explain?

You ask me what I offer you? Seriously? Do you really not know?

You ask me where we go from here? Do you not know? I promise you already know the answer!

You can feel it in my touch..and see it in my eyes. You can taste it on my lips...

xoxo!
andi

KJ's Meme..Now Mine..

2007-01-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? Yes, thank God!
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? Yes, too many times.
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Yes, because I am a clutz...we'll leave it at that.
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Yes. Long story.
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Depends.
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Yes.
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? No. Well, okay..yes.
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? Fucken A..please!
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yes...and I hate it.
10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Yes, and with my friends significant other.
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Mmm...yep.
12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? Yes, and I am still wanting the videotape back!
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Hell yeah!
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Um, yes..a girl has to do...what a girl has to do!
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? Yes..meet my 2 year old!
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? My first time..his dad walked in, and saw me naked. I could not look him in the eye the entire 2 years we dated.
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? I was a sophmore..15 1/2.
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? You know who you are!!
19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? Hell yes...meet me in March!!
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? Yes.
21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? Ugh, lets just say I went to a party college, and I partied A LOT!
22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? I like sex anywhere!
23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? Nope, he hates my guts--I fucked his best friend..and that was it.
24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Like your bestfriends boyfriend? Yes.
25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? Hell Yes!
26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD? GOOD. Good...very good..excellent!
27. LINGERIE? Why bother? It just gets tossed on the floor!
28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? Yes..too many times..not a good thing!

WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX

(X)park
(X )church
( X)cemetery
(X)beach
(X)boat
(X )school
( X)parent's bed
(X)your bed
(X)car
(X)picnic table
( X)kitchen counter
(X)couch/chair
(X)dining room/kitchen table
(X)woods (open and/or in a tent)
(X)hood of a car and back of pick-up
(X)bathroom
(X)shower
(X)the other person's bed
(X)porch/deck/balcony
(X)in a house with parents home
(X)at a party
( X)on top of the washer/dryer
(X)with other people in the room
(X)hotel
( )concert
( X)grandparent's house
(X)field
( X)bleachers

Um, I think I just told WAY too much..Mike, you do this next so I do not look so bad!

xoxo!
andi

Come Lay with Me..

2007-01-28T21:04:00.000-08:00

Ever have one of those days where you just want to go back to bed and pretend the day never happened? Yeah, me too!

So, I leave you with a Sunday Song..gratuitous eye candy, and the sexiest men on television.

xoxo!
andi

Chasing Cars (Grey's Anatomy C Video

Chasing Cars (Grey's Anatomy C lyrics - Snow Patrol lyrics

Snow Patrol Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

I was violated!

2007-01-26T20:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am pissed..and scorned..and most of all violated! Some asshole broke into my SUV last nite..in my driveway mind you, stole my brand-new snowboard and work computer! FUCKER!

So, I leave you with my scorned and naked body...someone pour me a drink!

xoxo!
andi

I ponder...

2007-01-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

So, I have a challenge. A challenge to answer a question, and I am hoping to illicit some help from my blogger homies. I have been seeing a young girl in therapy, and today she asked me something. She asked me if I knew what it was like to be in love with someone that does not love you back? I pondered this question for awhile, and I am sure I could probably look back into my past and answer, "yes." But, what if that someone loved me and was just too much of a coward to admit it? What if for whatever reason they would do everything and anything to push you away, and you never budge?

So, as you ponder this...Happy HNT!

xoxo!
andi

Chicks r kissin Chicks--Notes from a drunk

2007-01-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

Did you ever wonder what happens to your mind when you become so highly intoxicated that you can not see straight? I pondered this exact question yesterday afternoon when I finally sobered up from the night before.

I am turning 33 on Friday, and I will be on a work trip. So, my besties decided that the best way to celebrate was to feed me so much Vodka-cranberry that I could party till the wee hours of the morning. So, after not getting home until 6 a.m. and barely remembering how I even got home, I compiled a list of my epiphanies..and helpful tips...

1) Make sure you eat before you go out..it really makes puking a lot easier later on.
2) If you decide to throw your bra on the stage that your best friend is performing on..make sure it is not your brand new one from Vicky's..you wont get it back, and 40 bucks is a lot to lose.
3) People you dont know will buy you drinks when they know you are celebrating your birthday.
4) You will get even more drinks bought for you if you feel your friends new implants at the bar.
5) Dont go snowboarding 2 days later...you are still dehydrated, and you will hurt like hell.
6) Did I mention that you need to eat before drinking copious amounts of alcohol?
7) It really is not a good idea to try to dance on a table when you are in high heels..very slippery!
8) Drunk dialing can be dangerous..especially if you call your husbands station!
9) If a Dj wants you to dance with him, good luck saying no!

and last but not least..

10) Drunk text messages...seriously, bad idea~! Not only can you not spell, and you sound dumb as hell..but leaving a trail of text is not smart! At least the drunk dial (conversation) you can deny!

Happy MLK Day..
andi

TMI Tuesday

2007-01-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

Because, I am tired...because I feel disappointed tonite, and because I promised..its TMI time. Thank you KJ for letting me steal this! Enjoy...

xoxo!
andi

Ten Things About You

1. I'm brunette
2. I have a toddler
3. I am afraid of birds
4. I spent over $200 on a pair of shoes 2 weeks ago because I was pissed
5. I do not know if I have ever been truly happy
6. Mental stimulation turns me on
7. I am working on a second Masters degree
8. I hate to shave
9. I am always the one that gives my heart and always get hurt
10. I know how to surf and did so almost everyday in high school

Nine Things You Love

1. Kids
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Shopping
5. Shoes
6. cheese pizza
7. SEX
8. tiramisu
9. learning new things

Eight Songs You Love

1. Love Song
2. People are People
3. She will be loved
4. Long December
5. Anarchy in the UK
6. Hey Jude
7. Reason
8. Cab

Seven Things You Wear Daily

1. Deodorant
2. Mascara
3. Shoes
4. Undies
5. Lipgloss
6. Lotion
7. Bra

Six Things That Make You Smile

1. My kiddo learning something new
2. Compliments
3. Vanilla Soy Latte
4. Mullet man at Starbucks
5. Knowing that you think about me
6. Sex

Five Things You're Looking Forward To

1. Disneyland in February!
2. The $5000.00 that a well known criminal owes me..and STILL has not paid!
3. Grey's Anatomy on Sunday
4. The new season of American Idol
5. Finishing my stats class

Four Things You're Scared Of

1. Giving too much and never getting it back in return
2. Failure
3. Drowning
4. Birds

Three Things That Annoy You

1. Chris leaving his duty weapons on our kitchen table
2. teen snowboarders who wont get the hell outta my way
3. cigarette smoke you can not escape

Two Of Your Favorite Books

1. The Gift of Fear
2. To Kill a Mockingbird

One Thing You Can't Live Without

1. Love

Cheering UP!

2007-01-03T19:25:00.000-08:00

Thanks guys for your nice emails, comments and naked pictures! You really know how to cheer a girl up~! I am glad to be back in Blogland too...and I will have a special post up soon!

XOXO~
andi

Say It Isnt So...

2007-01-02T21:46:00.000-08:00

Serious? Has it really been almost a month since I have blogged?? WTF? no wonder my universe has seemed off kilter a bit!

So, I suppose I owe you an update or two....

Well, first of all my Christmas and New Year sucked. Yep, I came down with pneumonia, and I did not do much celebrating..or SNOWBOARDING! Instead, I would like it noted that I was nice enough to send my unused snow to Sexy Jon in CO...because, that is the type of girl I am!

I have been doing a lot more of my boring soul searching lately as well. I hate to say it, but this has made for a pretty boring Andi. To be honest, I am not even sure when I masturbated last was..let alone when I threw a bone to Chris and let him fuck my brains out....yes, a boring Andi!

With this said, I suppose it is better I have not been blogging..I hate when I depress people around here. Although, speaking of depressing...I am turning 33 in a couple of weeks..anyone have any suggestions for how I can celebrate??

I will post more friends when I am feeling a little better. Until then, may you look toward your future, take into consideration your past, and never let mistakes drive who you become.

Peace, Love and All-Night Sex Sessions..
Andi

TMI Tuesday..

2006-12-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends!

Yes, it has been too long since I have posted, and I hate that. I feel out of the loop, and there seems like there is too much to do. Anyway, so to get you caught up on where I am, I decided to do a TMI Tuesday.

First of all, I am in a negative space lately--I am sorry, I can not help it. Normally, I love this time of year, but this time I feel a little disgruntled. I am tired, and I do not have enough time to get what I need done; and on top of it I have to travel the next two weeks...maybe some time away will be good for me.

I am getting older...yep, I will be 33 in January....Now, I had a conversation with my best male friend today--he is hot for some 23 year old chick right now...no offense to the young women out there. But, I would not want to go back. When I was in my 20s, I was so idealistic--almost pathetic to a point, I thought life was going to bring me a knight in shining armour, and hearts and flowers....I am much more realistic now. I know that knights wear rusty armour, and the hearts and flowers are the ones that you draw on a peice of paper when you doodle. Now, I know that you have to make life what you want, and that sex is SO much better in your thirties. I am much more self assured, I know what to do to make myself cum the way I need to, and I LOVE sex even more than when I was in my 20s. The problem is, that I found a wrinkle today, the grey is coming in, and gravity is taking my boobs on a downward spiral....

UGH...travel. I hate it this time of year. Luckily, I am staying on the Left Coast...and do not have to worry until January for a cross country trip...so, I guess I better suck it up.

Sucky ass clients, they do not cooperate! I am doing an eval at this time that is driving me nuts. I think I need to go to law school. The funny thing was, that I was talking to an attorney friend today, and he told me I am allowed to keep my bias against damn attorneys...apparently, I have earned the right...thanks T!

Anyway, thats it...oh, except I am also on a major diet now too...very rigorous, and I am trying to shed the extra weight from the chemo this summer...so, far 15 pounds are gone....wish me luck. The food part is not so hard, but the lack of soy lattes is getting to me!

Happy Week Friends....
andi

PS~Thanks Py for putting a smile on my face with this great pic!

Trojan Pride!!

2006-12-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is that time of year again...the time of year when you see people argue at gas stations, people dressed in cardinal and gold, and people running around in true Trojan garb...Yep, it is the game of the year...the USC Trojans playing the UCLA Bruins....I love it!

As some of you know, I am a Trojan girl, and my dad is an alumni of UCLA...we have the best feuds! This year if the Trojans lose, then I have to help scrape barnacles off my dads boat; in turn, if the Bruins lose, then my dad has to detail my Jeep...GAME ON!

But, the best bet is the sexual favors I will win from someone when the Trojans kick some ass....

Wish me luck friends...
xoxo!
andi

Stolen MeMe..

2006-11-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

Yep, I am not creative...I think the workload, the holidays, and the pure craziness of life has officially froze my creativity...so, thank you KJ for letting me swipe this!

1. Yourself: Tired and tired of being tired!

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): Um, all of the above :)

3. Your hair: In a pony-tail

4. Your mother: Oh my..she is coming for Christmas--fuck!

5. Your father: Fucken brilliant!

6. Your favorite item: My brand new panties that say "Naughty" across the ass!

7. Your dream last night: Made me cum...

8. Your favorite drink: Iced Green Tea from Starbucks...my damn trainer took me off the Latte!

9. Your dream car: My sexy ass Jeep I drive now!

10. The room you are in: Family room

11. Your ex: Sexy as hell, and the most absent person you will ever meet.

12. Your fear: Drowning, and being miserable and stuck forever!

13. What you want to be in 10 years? A kick-ass policy maker in DC

14. Who you hung out with last night? Chris

15. What You're Not? Energetic, creative and happy.

16. Muffins: Carrot Raisin from Mimi's

17. One of your wish list items: A new life!

18. Time: Supposedly heals??

19. The last thing you did: ate a salad

20. What you are wearing: undies and a pj top

21. Your favorite weather: right now? Snowy...but Jon is stealing my snow!!

22. Your favorite book: To Kill a Mockingbird

23. The last thing you ate: Salad

24. Your life: Fucked

25. Your mood: Fucked

26. Your best friend: ROCKS!

27. What are you thinking about right now? I need to cum!

28. Your car: My favorite!

29. What are you doing at the moment? Typing this and thinking about all the crap I have to do! Anyone want to iron my clothes for tomorrow?

30. Your summer: interesting.

31. Your relationship status: Can I take the 5th?

32. What is on your TV? Some stupid Sci Fi Channel show...not my choice!

33. What is the weather like? Cold, snowy and windy!

34. When is the last time you laughed? This morning at the nasty guy who rolled his tounge over his lips at me when I was driving back to work from a meeting..yikes!

xoxo!
andi

Happy Birthday to me....

2006-11-25T13:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know..sorry! It has been awhile since I have posted, and I am literally starting to get hate mail over the Jessica Simpson video. Look, that was the only video with that specific song available...so suck it up!!

Our mountains are dry..only like a 4 inch base--which sucks!! Damn it, Jon stop stealing my snow!! Send those clouds back this way! My snowboard is lonely, and is aching to be rode!

So, as you can tell from the title..someone is having a birthday..ME! Well, okay not really me--but, Secrets of a Sexblogger is officially 1 YEAR OLD today. My blog has had 220,000 hits, and I have had the pleasure to make some wonderful friends through this experience. Thanks to each of you for all of your love, support and comments! So now what? Well, I know I keep talking about re-vamping and getting this thing up and running more, but I am doing a poor job at that. My new job had been taking a ton of my time, and I am now in the process of beginning my thesis. What does this all mean? Well, it means I have to spend less time here in Blogland, and more time in reality....which, sucks! So, bare with me as I struggle through my day to day grid and blog as I can.

With all this said...I miss you all! I hope you had a wonderful holiday!

xoxo!
andi

View from my Window

2006-11-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

It is late, and my office is quiet. I look out the window, and I can see the darkness as it falls on the city. I hear the last person in the office telling me she is leaving, and that she will lock the door. I sigh as I realize I still have many hours of work to do to get caught up. As I begin to look down on my desk, I hear your voice. I look up surprised, but I am also glad to see you.

Standing in the doorway, you look handsome and strong. I can see the outline of your shape as you walk over to me. Your belt squeaking...that sexy squeak that drew me to you in the first place. You look at me, and pull my hair away from my neck..kissing me lightly. I hear you unsnap your pouch on your belt, and you take out the cold cuffs and put them on my wrist. You say nothing, but I know you like it when we play this game. You pick me up and place me on my desk; my legs spread. You pull my skirt up; exposing my black stalkings and garter belt....you grin devilishly as you run your hand up my legs and kiss my mouth. My hands cuffed, and my being unable to touch you the way I want to, drives me wild.

You pull me toward you--I can feel the hard armour against your chest, but it does not detour you. You lay me back on my desk, and pull me toward the edge. I feel you pull down my panties with your teeth--I giggle at your playfulness...it has been a long time since I have seen you like this. I feel your finger enter me; you begin rubbing my clit. Your mouth on my thigh as you begin to suck on my skin. You are exciting me now, and I begin to breath heavier. You pull me closer to you; my hands still cuffed, and I put my legs over your shoulders. I feel your mouth on my clit as I begin to moan. I look over at my large window and I think about the view.....

Make me cum...

xoxo!
andi

Are you Kidding Me?

2006-11-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

Look what I got!

Dear Andi:

You asked what I think about.. I'll share a little bit. I wonder where
you are during the day, how you are doing. I wonder what you are
wearing, what your perfume smells like. I wonder what your hair would
feel like running through my fingers, what your kiss will feel like. I
think about your smile and wonder what your eyes look like (perhaps
you'll send me a picture some day??) I think how wonderful it would be
to wake up next to you in the morning with the sun shining through a
near by window - waking you with small kisses and a soft caress tracing
across your hip and thigh. I wonder how amazing it would be to explore
our raw passionate desires for each other - letting go of all fear and
restraint.

So, I share this with you, because I have no idea who this is from! Nice huh? Someone with so much passion, and no return address...wow, if only we could can this and sell it!

SIGH...
andi

Do you need to ask?

2006-10-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

You asked me what my fantasy was. I giggled as I looked at you; that coy look that makes you melt. Here we are sitting in our favorite dark booth in the back of the trendy wine bar next to the river, and you ask my fantasy? I move closer to you; my hand on your thigh. I whisper in your ear. I ask you to look at the table across the room. I point her out. The woman with the raven colored hair, and the green eyes. You smile at me. I tell you that I want her, and I want you to tell me how to please her. You look surprised. I continue describing to you how I want to make love to her, and have you watch. I want you to see me indulge my fantasy. I want you to mentor me in making a woman cum the way you have made me cum earlier tonight.

Are you ready?

xoxo~
andi

Just for You

2006-10-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

Just for You

I lay before you
My legs spread
The look in my eyes
So inviting

You hear my breath become heavy
The light moan on your lips as we begin to kiss
You can taste us

We kiss deeper
Your thoughts invaded by me
So vigorous

My release is close
My hand begins to explore the wetness between my legs
I smile at you while I have you watch
I begin to moan—ever so lightly

I lay before you
I am ready for you to explore
Take me

TMI Tuesday

2006-10-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! It is TMI Tuesday Ladies and Gents! So, I have refused to do the longest MeMe ever...I just am not that focused. So, instead I leave you with a MeMe..Andi Style. Please feel free to steal this!

1. How do you feel right now?
Like someone kicked me in the stomach, and lonely..

2. What was the best thing about your day?
Waking up to a dusting of snow! Woo Hoo...can you say snowboarding??

3. If you could name your vagina/penis, what would you name it?
Freudette...serious?

4. Where did you masturbate last?
In the bathroom at work...yes, I needed to clear my mind.

5. Bath or Shower?
Depends on my time. Shower in the morning..bath when I need to relax.

6. Who was the last person you wanted to tell to "fuck off"
That would of been an attorney today who did not like my report I submitted! Dumb ass!

7. When was the last time someone flirted with you?
This morning..Mullet Man...he told me I looked "smashing and delicious"...seriously, how come I like this shit?

8. What does your future look like?
It looks like Law School...hopefully! Yep, I know. I hate lawyers..but, hell I have to do something to try and save them right? Maybe Goose and I can open a practice together..lol!

9. Who did you have lunch with today?
No one...I was totally swamped, and had to skip out on my lunch with my friend! Sorry T!

10. What did you watch on television tonight?
Nothing! There is nothing on, and I just can not get into Dancing with the Stars..serious.

xoxo!
andi

Follow Me...

2006-10-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

I ask you to take this trip. I want you to feel safe. You know you can trust me. I have spent so many hours getting to know you; making sure you know I understand your fragility. Follow Me...

You are kind, and your laugh sends shivers through my body. I close my eyes and I can feel your breath against my neck as you explore my body. I can taste you on my lips, and think about our souls chaining together as we kiss. My skin becomes so alive as I think about your touch, and my desire to be close to you becomes overwhelming. Follow Me...

When I am alone, I dream about your being inside of me. My being able to see the expression of ecstacy on your face as you cum within me. I am aroused, and my hand explores my moist, warm pussy. I think of you as I come to an orgasm; longing for you to be there with me. Follow Me..

My thoughts seem so eratic to you. I dream and fantasize, and you are not sure what to think, but I want you to come with me. Follow me in to this world of dreams, I promise it will be worth it.

Thinking of you...
Andi

Saturday Song

2006-10-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to KJ, and MX for posting on KJs blog, I stole this idea. I like to post a Saturday Song and most of the time I leave you with lyrics..today, I am getting HI-TECH!

Enjoy!
Andi

Cab Video - Train lyrics

Train Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

Myspace Layouts

Taunt Me Tuesday....

2006-10-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Wow, is it Tuesday already? Where did the weekend go? I am exhausted and in need of some rest. This weekend, Chris and I went away. We stayed in a cabin in the woods, and devoured one another. Nothing is better than waking up on a Monday morning--having a holiday from work, still feeling drunk from the night before and realizing that your pussy hurts when you pee because you fucked all night long.

So, I am back to the grind...work is getting really busy! I also wanted to let you know that I have a new gig. My sexy blog-lover over at Secrets, Lies and My Space has hired me on with sexual favors to give advice on love, sex and life! So, check this site out! http://slms.blogsome.com/

Anyway, I am still in the process of revamping this blog, as you can see..I actually switched to beta! Woo hoo. I am becoming technological! So, stay tuned!

xoxo!

andi

Indulgence...

2006-10-07T14:24:00.000-07:00

Let me indulge you..
Your soul, your spirit.
Let me take you to a place
You have never been before.
Mentally, physically, enveloping.
Connections, I make with you..
Indulge me.

Thinking about You~
andi

Get your own MULLET...

2006-10-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

Is it Friday yet? I am just sayin that this has been one long week! And btw, did anyone else notice that this month is moving fast? Anyway, I am back and being random. Yeah, I know...not always exciting, but hey what can I say. Here I am at home on a Friday night, and I am blogging and contmeplating the meaning of my existence....and I have not even had a drink!

So, this week....the Mullet Man has become a little more creative. This morning he gave me a rose that he picked from his garden. It was wilted, and a little frost bitten but I had to give him credit..he actually cut the rose and brought it to Starbucks to give to me.....btw, he also told me that "heaven must be the color green" when we saw one another earlier this week. I was wearing a green sweater.

Alright, and an update on the 40 year old virgin..apparently, he has been seen at the local cafe downtown eating lunch while reading a Hustler magazine right at his table...center-fold open and all. My poor friend who inherited him from me when I switched jobs is beside herself, and all I can do is laugh...damn, sometimes life is sweet! Can you imagine the poor waitress...lol! I miss that fucker!

Um, hmmm...life is interesting lately. I am feeling better. I know it is breast cancer awareness month, but as a person who has two bouts of cancer in the last 5 years..neither of them effecting my breasts, I think it is also important to raise awareness about just having yearly physicals. My thyroid cancer and lymphoma were both caught during regular check-ups. I have been thinking alot lately about how lucky I am to be here. Even though, I bitch and complain because I have gained like literally 50 pounds the last 4 months due to all of the drugs I have had to take....I am damn lucky to be here! Thanks to you all for your kind words.

Alright, I need to get creative again....I have asked Mike to come back from time to time and blog with me....and I am in the process of creating some new and exciting stuff! Stay tuned!!

xoxo!
andi

Sometimes it is just in words.

2006-10-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your kind words about my night out and realization that I am not a spring chicken. I have to say though, I was so touched by some of the comments and emails I received that I have to share some of them with you. I am sharing them not just to thank the authors, but also to let my fellow "not so" spring chicks know that there are actually men out there that dig us!

My first comment I want to share is.....

"You are not living at all in a dream world....deep down you should know how hot you are and how you stimulate thoughts of sexuality as you simply write about your world. You are certainly the hottest woman in the blog world that I read. You may not be the most graphic, you may not be the most hardcore, but from the very beginning of reading you--you fed my desire in a way that virtually no one else does. Your ability to weave thoughts and ideas into your entries that touch into real life in an entertaining and exciting way are exceptional.

I won't lie, I am bias, I do have special feelings for you, but they grow out of who you are not the pictures of your tits. I know that you can hold your own against any of the 20-somethings I know. You are smart, funny, sexy, a great writer, an incredibly sensual person. There have been times you have written about your longings and I could feel the desire so powerfully. You are an incredible woman and I know I only know a small slice of who Andi is. I wish I knew more."

Um, yeah....marry me?? Just sayin..where were these guys back in the day? Serious! Okay and the other one I love is....

"Regarding your September 30 post on being amongst a bunch of twenty somethings and feeling insecure. I can tell you with complete honesty and experience that I am hooked by any female who engages me with her eyes and holds me with her intelligence....I'm damn certain that you intimidated the youth around you as much as they affected you."

There it is ladies...true gentlemen..the sexy men that appreciate the virtue of experience and maturity! Apparently, I am not living in a dream world! Thanks again guys!

xoxo!
andi

PS~I am such a slacker...I promise that I will post the Hottie Couch Session with Pyrohnik this weekend!

Sex, Crantini's and Ho-Trains..

2006-09-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

Friday night, was my first night out with the "girls" in it seems like forever. I have been spending my time lately working, doing more classes for a second Masters degree, visiting the local jail, and pretty much being worn out from the daily dose of life. So, after a formal shin-dig I had to attend for work, I headed out to the local martini bar. Of course, two of my closest chick friends cancelled, so it was just me and my "fav redhead" out on the town. We met up with my sweet little ex-intern and his fraternity brothers.

I dont look at myself as being "old" and I think I am pretty in touch with the new millenium, but nothing makes you feel older than hanging out with frat brothers who are all 20-something.

As I am sitting there drinking my Crantini...thoughts began running through my head like..When did I make it to this age? How did gravity and bad lighting become an issue? Why is it that all of the sudden I feel so insecure?

And there it was in my face..the ANSWER. The answer was a 22 year old.. 5'3" blonde with D's...looking at me like I was out of my league sitting at a table with my frat boys. Then I realized it is just not this chick..but I was surrounded. It was like the Ho-Train just made its stop and all the Ho's with big plastic tits and anorexic bodies were surrounding me. Yes, I know this is a wet dream for some (mike..) but hey, this is my worst nightmare.

As I continued to drink I ended up engaging in conversation, and realizing that hey these little bitches may have the bodies and big tits..but I have something else..yep, I have KNOWLEDGE..and EXPERIENCE! I remembered being that young, and being grossed out by oral sex, and refusing to swallow. I recall playing games, not communicating my feelings and being a jealous bitch. So, I decided that maybe having to take the extra efforts to color the grey, hide the stretch marks and wearing the push-up bras to defy gravity really isn't too bad after all. Maybe growing old gracefully is actually a virtue. Perhaps, there are men out there that like the experience and knowledge of the older woman..or maybe I am just living in a dream world!

xoxo!
andi

More than Enough Andi...serious.

2006-09-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

So, apparently my amazing Andi post was not enough for you guys, cause now I got asked to do this MeMe..and I can not even remember who asked me to do it...so, thanks. Anyway, I am having some technical difficulties with the newest Tales from the Couch and so well..give me a day..and then we will all be looking at the twisted, sex mind of Pyrohnik. Let me tell you..that fucker gave me one hell of a time too...good thing he is SO damn sexy!

So..here we go..MeMe..

1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Are we talking about booty calls or friends with benefits?? If that is it..then well..they work when they work. We can all use some meaningless sex from time to time but the best sex is always the emotionally, attached, snuggly kind..serious.

2. Do you bite your toenails?
Of course...they provide excellent protein!! What kind of question is this?

3. Are you a jealous person?
Um, sometimes..but more territorial...and I have been known to put up a cock block or two in my days...sorry ladies!

4. What are you allergic to?
Cats..plastic tape, and really stupid people.

5. What books, if any, have made you cry?
Wow, I rarely cry over things..um, probably the Dave Pelzer series. "I know my first name is it" and a "Man Named Dave." True stories of child abuse..and absolutley sad as hell.

6. Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
Depends who it is.

7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Cherry Garcia baby!! Or Chocolate Chip.

8. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest what would you say to them?
"Yeah..right" or "nice mullet!" (wow, I am kidding..I have no idea.)

9. What would you rather be doing right now?
Having sex..please!

10. What

Andi's Believe or Not....

2006-09-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

So, tonight I was talking to Sug, and she mentioned I had not done a MeMe in awhile. So, I started telling her somethings I know how to do which amazed her..so, we came up with this list of 15 things that make me amazing....

1) I can play Golf..and probably can kick your ass. I was actually on the Golf Team in High-School.
2) I can actually play the Cello. I know, total geek..but it is hard as hell.
3) I can play the guitar, and sometimes I have been known to play at local coffee houses and sing. I am folksy that way..sort of like Sheryl Crowe.
4) I delivered a baby in the back of an ambulance..sick fucken mess to clean up!
5) I know how to surf. I miss the ocean.
6) I modeled for the Sears Catalog when I was six-years old.
7) I was a Girl-Scout and earned almost all my patches.

9) I went to Catholic School until High School...and yes, I still have the uniform!
10) My hair has been long enough to touch my ass, and short enough to only touch the nape of my neck.
11) I was married once before....he came out of the closet...enough said!
12) I have been published in journals, and technical briefs.
13) I had a sandwich with David Spade at Quizno's 2 years ago. He is funny as hell and cute too.
14) I skiied with Barbra Streisand once. She was on the slopes and I was with my dad...she rode up the lift with us and talked to my dad the whole way down. I think she wanted him.
15) I threw my bra on stage for Sammy Hagar once at a Van Halen concert on a dare..he picked it up and wore it around his neck the entire concert.

xoxo!
andi

2006-09-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

It is getting colder. Good time of year for us to start getting out the flannel sheets and put the warmer blankets on the bed..and yes, the best part is the fact that I took my snowboard in today to get the bindings fixed!

But, as you know...it is Fuck You Friday...So, to honor this occassion, I have created a list of my "fuck you's"

1) To the asshole on the motorcycle this morning...FUCK YOU..there are two lanes for a reason and you do not own either of them!

2) To my neighbor who loves to get up on Saturday morning and weed whack at 7 a.m....FUCK YOU! Some of us are trying to sleep in please!

3) To the bitch at Starbucks this morning who gave me a dirty look because I accidently bumped her...Fuck off...I think you actually had fur on..I hope someone throws red paint on you!

4) To the mom who gave her toddler a spinach smoothie although they have been warning for OVER a week not to use spinach...you are one dumb fucken bitch!

5) And finally, my family is in town..so for all the ridiculous things my mother will tell me over the next 3 days just to make me feel guilty..Fuck off!

xoxox!
andi

Thursday Trauma and Tunes

2006-09-21T17:27:00.000-07:00

2 years..tomorrow. So many questions and doubts. There has been laughter and pain. So many questions. So many uncertain moments. Striving to find true happiness~~So ready to do and pursue what I need to find you.

But today..I think about you..and what it is like to be alone with you in my mind....your touch and smell, the way you kiss..and it feels like trauma. There is this deep divide..this pull. I am confused. So, I sit on the couch drinking my Merlot..contemplating the rest of the years ahead..listening to tunes on the MP3...

So, I leave you with this..the tune in my mind.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

xoxo~
andi

PS~Hope you thought about being alone with me in your mind too...and you never stop!

WTF Wednesday?

2006-09-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

So, here at Secrets of a Sexblogger, I am starting a new tradition known as...

WTF Wednesday?

Anyway, this is going to be my day of the week when I rant, rave, bitch and whine about whatever and whoever I want. So, hope you enjoy.

First off, WTF...Mullet man, had got a little more brazen. He actually has a colleague of his also make cat calls at me now. Mullet man's friend..also has a Mullet..sorta like Billy Ray Cyrus from the 90's. It is frightening. They sit outside Starbucks and wait for me to walk to my car and then tell me hello. This morning I decided to make a comment first. I walked up behind Mullet Man #1 and Mullet Man #2 watched..I smiled and motioned for him to remain silent. I then brushed against Mullet Man #1 as I reached for a napkin..and said, "Well..my vision in flannel..mmm..how are you?" He just stared at me..mouth dropped open. Mullet Man #2 said.."he is fine." I giggled and walked out the front door.

Secondly, WTF...why is it that things you desire and think about always seem to be so un~obtainable. So, distant..so guarded. I hate that.

Third, WTF (dedicated to Steph)...did I mention how much I love my new job. It rocks. It is so nice, and posh. No clients whining. Today, I go to this little cafe downtown to meet a friend (a damn lawyer) for lunch when all of the sudden I am ran up on by my old client...yep, the 40 year old virgin! He told me he misses me. He then goes on to tell me that he is sure to get laid now because he has invested in Extenz...some herbal medicine to make his cock longer. He said he has his eye on a "honey" (he actually uses this term) in his Bipolar Support Group. WTF, am I supposed to say? I told him to take his "new meds" into the psychiatrist to make sure they do not interfere with his anti-psychotics. He agrees and then struts off.

God, someone give him a mercy fuck please!

Lastly, WTF..I have been SO fucken horny lately. I can not masturbate or fuck enough! I wonder if I am hitting my sexual prime? I am 32..isn't this when it happens? I need to look into it..I need a new toy. Oh, and has anyone ever thought about how sexy it is to hear a man cum..not just when they shoot their cum out..but the build up..the anticipation. I love it! Damn, I need a shower now!

Happy WTF Wednesday!

andi

Ps~! I am working on my next Tales from the Couch. This time it will feature another little hottie...Pyrhonik....hell, let's find out what the fuck that means! Stay tuned!

Kiss

2006-09-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

Kiss..
Kiss with a tounge
the feel of your warm breath on my lips.

Soft touch
the embrace
The taste in your mouth
the taste of us--our fluids mixed

The kiss on my mouth after you have made me cum
Kiss me.

xoxo~
andi

Fingers...

2006-09-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

I love fingers...
Mine..
Yours..
His..

I love the way they can thrust within me
bringing me to the brink of an orgasm
and then stop

The feeling of the vigorous movement
your hand becoming soaked with my juices
as I clench tight around your finger

One finger or two..
if I am lucky, sometimes three..
Mmmm...I love
fingers...

xoxo! andi

Back to Basics...

2006-09-14T19:37:00.000-07:00

There has been an evolution here at Secrets of a Sexblogger. I mean, am I really even a sex blogger anymore? What the hell road am I traveling? I know you guys are confused, and so am I to be honest.

I started this blog with my husband Chris, yep..some of you remember the days when he actually contributed with comment and writings. Then, he decided to contribute by letting me be free and express myself to bloggerville. I shared my inner-most secrets, my horniest thoughts and adventures. I posted pictures of every inch of my body, and I flirted with commenters. Then it happened..someone out there became a little too scary, and I had to pull my blog down. After a few days of thinking, I started again...from scratch. And, most of you have seen a different side of me from when I first started. You saw my plight to get my dream job, my rants about reality television, and my interviews from the couch.

Now, to be honest...I have no idea where to go. Sometimes I think about quitting. I do not get the comments and traffic I once did. And, I get email telling me how disappointed people are in my evolution. I even got email the other day that scolded me for sharing my story about 9/11 and how I hated Texas because of the sad memories. I saw a very dear blogger buddy pass away, and now I am about to approach my one year anniversary of being here in bloggerville. What people dont always seem to understand is this is MY place. I can not rant and rave all day. I cant tell people about my sex-life, and I can never, ever reveal my weaknesses. Therapists are not allowed to be more mental than their clients....but guess what, we are!

So, in short...perhaps I will get back to basics. I will just do whatever I feel like doing and not really give a fuck about who I am pleasing or not pleasing. Blogging is supposed to be about ME, and what I want the world to know. So, if I disappointed you..I am sorry. For those of you that keep reading and want more...thank you. And, please feel free to tell me what you want more of! I mean, I do like to entertain to a point, and I want this to be a cool place to come and hang out.

With this all said, I think I will go masturbate now, create a hot fantasy in my head and blog about it tomorrow... until then...enjoy my tits!~

xoxo~!
andi

No FUCKEN way..Serious??

2006-09-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

Mike: OK, the rumor mill is all the buzz today, Beside Whitney finally leaving Bobby (and the crack) and Britney’s forever ruined once hot belly, it has been said that “Supernova” AKA Narcotics Anonymous will not be allowed to use the name “Supernova” due to the fact there is already a “Supernova”, minus the track marks, tattoos and jaded past. Ryan, there is still hope for you to lead “Supernova” after all! You can read all about it here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/sddt/20060913/lo_sddt/injunctiongrantedinsupernovadispute
You would have thought that someone would have investigated this before hand? Oh well, on to the finale! Andi, Come on Babe…
Andi: Is it time yet? *passes Mike his drink*
Mike: This is it folks! Toby, Dilana, Magni and Lukas are left standing on stage!
Brooke just called Tommy “The Big Man”. She must have seen the video!
Andi: LMAO, Hey..we should rent that video one day..that may be fun! Maybe you can be Tommy and I could be Pamela!
Mike: I must say for the record, Dave Navarro is a scary looking fucker! Oh, Andi..hmm..well, we can check that out later…OK – Fewest vote time. (Last night the voting broke records in 3 countries)
Andi: It is always record breaking time! Serious. They say that every week. Mmmm…look at fucken hot Toby looks!
Mike: Whatever, all the dudes are standing! Go Dilana!
Andi: Shhh..Dilana is a bitch! Sheesh..
Mike: Whatever! Okay, Magni is the first to perform. Not enough votes out of Iceland I guess. He chose “Fire” by Jimmy Hendrix! Playing guitar, if I close my eyes you’d think Jimmy was back. I am going to miss Magni! Andi, stop, not now babe! Let it rest a few. Andi: Sorry honey..but Mmm…Toby is hot and you are hot..and well, I have had a long day and I am horny..
Mike: I know. I will take care of you later. Check this out Lukas is wearing big ol’ white glasses. He looks like he mugged one of the Olsen twins for them. Magni was OK. Not good enough to save his ass if you ask me.
Andi: Yuck..and Lukas has lip gloss on..looks like the kind I left on your collar the other day! Uh, oh..here is goes..
Mike: The second for elimination is… Toby? What the fuck? Lukas blows! Again with the Billy Idol! White Wedding, Go Toby! Actually Toby is looking like Lukas tonight minus the Hello Kitty Glitter. The audience is pissed! They want Toby! They are singing and dancing and, well it is Toby!
Andi: Ah, that pisses me off..Toby did not belong in the bottom two! Besides, you have that EVS tat on your ass…that could look really stupid if he is eliminated.
Mike: No shit..but, Toby rocked as usual! Dilana---and shove a potato up my ass-- Lukas are left. The guys have to send home either Magni or our boy Toby! Oh, commercial time which means, “Hey Andi…”
Andi: Mmmm…I love commercial time….we’ll be right back!

(Insert Moaning and Groping Here)

Mike: Okay, we are back. Damn, Andi is the best 2.5 minutes…seriously! Anyway, Gilby is talking… Blah, Blah, Blah… Get a hair cut!
Andi: His hair seriously scares me. I think he has it back in a scrunchie!
Mike: See you Magni! Say hello to the penguins in Iceland for us!
Andi: Ah, that is too bad. He was sweet. But, not lead-singer material! I still vote for billboard material on E-Bay!
Mike: No shit! Okay, three are left. Dilana, Luk-ASS and Toby. You’re right..Lukas is wearing mega lip gloss just for the guys! Now he get’s to plea his case as to why he is the best for them. Oh, and Dilana. Recap of awesome songs! Where does she buy her clothes I wonder? “I’m the one she tells the band”. Yes babe you are!
Andi: Shhh..come on! No she is NOT!
Mike: Toby, is up to plea his case. EVS. Yes Andi my ass is still sore.. Here rub some of this on it!
Andi: I will rub something..especially thinking of Toby!
Mike: Oh, watch this….Tommy has the shades on! One more time he says! Get ready world! This house is a rocking! OK, now for the performances. I think CBS just gave away the winner on the last commercial.
Andi: No fucken way! I need a drink if that is true—serious!
Okay, here is FAS-man!
Mike: Luk-Ass, “Bittersweet get the fuck off of the stage clown boy”. I wish some one would throw something at him! Oh, watch out, he is doing his best “Scott Wieland” I so hate you, you lip gloss wearing, Olsen twin stolen glasses, Hello Kitty Glitter, Boy George wishing, Wham loving, Duran Duran reject, A-hole!
Andi: Calm down babe..they have to make their quota for the disabled. Here comes Dilana!
Mike: Dilana is doing “Zombie” my FAV!...not now Andi! I am crying right now (literally), Dilana was so great. She has to make it. If so they will go on to be one of the best bands in history!
Andi: Sorry babe…I can’t help it..oh, here is…
Mike: Toby with the “Killer”, “Somebody Told me”… He knows that it is over! Dilana nailed it!
Andi: No way..that was HOT! OMG, I think I need to cum!
Mike: What kills me is Toby and Dilana have just proven that they are in a class far about Luk-ASS. Go Toby! He’s rocking! Pouring his soul out! (He is a tall drink of water BTW)
Andi: Hell yeah he is..mmm..much more to devour. I think you two are the same height though. Oh, now I am nervous….hold me!
Mike: *holding Andi and copping feel* It’s over! Time to choose! Well Andi, what are we going to do once this is over”? “I kinda got used to meeting in seedy hotel rooms with you.
Andi: I know, now there is no more excuses..hmmm..maybe some more couch sessions?? NO..what the fuck? Serious? Mike!! Serious??
Mike: Oh crap, Tommy’s drums are on the stage… What? Stay tuned. “Something is up folks” a riff in the band? Toby is gone over Luk-ASS? Jason is getting booed for sending Toby home! If Luk-ASS wins this I will Boycott Super whatever the fuck there name will be. Final two are Dilana and Lukas – Last night they both had the highest votes!
Andi: No FUCKEN way..serious! Toby can not leave! Who is it gonna be??
Mike: The guys need a few more minutes. I’ll tell you what. The crowd is all holding Dilana signs. If Luk-ASS wins, he’ll never make it out of the building alive.
Andi: I can not FUCKEN believe this!
Mike: The audience is Screaming Dilana!
Andi: Oh, I hate her..but I would rather her than….
Mike: Luk-ASS won! Fuck this!
Andi: No FUCKEN way…

Reporting for the last time on RockStar and now pissed as hell….

(I guess it is an angry-fuck tonight, Mike)

Mike and Andi

PS~I will return to regularly scheduled sex-blogging in the upcoming days stay tuned! Oh, and I am looking for my next Couch Victim...any volunteers??

Next to the Last RockStar Review

2006-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Yep, here we are...the next to the last RockStar: SuperNova review...so, here we go....

Mike: Ryan’s back? Where the hell is Andi? Oh my God, not “Back of Your Car” again.
Andi: Hey, Babe..here I am! Oh, I LOVE Ryan! He is SO hot! And you know I would LOVE to get in the back of his car!
Mike: *Eye Roll* Guess what Ryan? You still suck! Even the house band is like “Oh no, not again”. “Thanks Dave”? Oh, the bitch got a car! For sucking? Hell Zayra should have gotten a Diamond ring or something if that is the case.
Andi: LMAO! Oh, come on..he is hot! BTW, how is your ass feeling?
Mike: Fuck you!
Andi: Come on babe!! I love the EVS tattoo on your ass! LOL, You were so drunk last night! I can’t believe alcohol and a blow job could convince you to get that tat on your ass! LOL
Mike: Fuck you! Don’t tell people about that! Alright, Toby might take this shit! And by the way, Brooke looks so hot for a prego!
Andi: Shhhh! Here comes Toby! And look babe, everyone has EVS on their signs..just like your ass!
Mike: Oh, another cover and and original… Yawn!
Toby is up looking like a cross between George Michael and Michael Jackson. But he sounds great with the accent and the audience is all over it! Look, Andi…Toby is bringing Magni up on stage!
Andi: I know..Shhh..damn he is hot! OMG! Hand me a towel for the drool! And pass me the extra batteries!
Mike: Toby, this song again, “Chemical Dreaming”? Dude, take some shrooms and relax! I gotta say I never wanted to become homo this bad before!
Andi: Oh Mike, you could never be homo! Not after this morning!! Besides, you have to learn to love Toby…you have his saying on your ass cheek now!
Mike: Andi, you are lucky I love you, cause I would kick your ass. Wow, Magni, you kicked some ass on guitar! I hope they take note. Oh my God…Dave is kissing Toby’s ass.. Dave is such a switch hitter! And, Gilby is a fag as normal. Gilby go find Axl and get bitched slapped like the old days!
Andi: I like Dave, but Gilby SO needs a new hair-cut seriously! And, did you notice how calm Tommy is? He must be taking his ADHD meds tonight.
Mike: Andi, Pour me a drink babe…coming up – Lukas and “Cold Play”. God I hate that band! And btw, I must say, for as much money as those rockers Tommy, Gilby and others have, you’d think that they could shop somewhere besides Goodwill!
Andi: Here is your drink babe. *kisses Mike* Now, shut the hell up and listen!
Mike: Oh, Lukas, get the fuck off of the stage. What the hell is with the glitter around your eyes? Lukas is dancing and almost fell on his ass. Wearing the same lame, played-out outfit! Dancing even more homo than David Bowie! I wish that he would take one of those spikes off of his glove and ram it in his throat!
Andi: Mike, he is such a freak! OMG, I can not stand that Hello Kitty glitter around his eyes!
Mike: OMG, there is a “Rossi Posse”? Where the hell have I been? Go home Glam boy! Has anyone noticed that he is a hairy little bastard? Yes Lukas, we know that you’re not perfect, trust me!
Andi: LOL, at least I did not trick you into the “Rossi Posse” on your ass! LOL!
Mike: Wait a minute, what the hell is Paula Abdul doing there? Where is Simon? We need him after that! Dave, stop blowing smoke up his ass!
Andi: Paula is anywhere there is pot-smoking! She loves to get high, and I bet her and Tommy pop pills and smoke-out together! And then you know she gang-bangs the guys afterward.
Mike: LMAO, Andi, damn you are sexy as hell when you are bagging on Tommy! Alright, Dilana is up! C’mon girl, bring it! I love you! Roxanne by the police! OMG, Dilana, will you have my children? You are so fucking hot… Sting is dialing right now to get you recorded on that song! It’s over! Dilana is the new singer of Narcotics Anonymous! But, Andi….you know I love you! Oh, Now the original! That outfit is kicking! She’s doing the junkie shuffle again! The leg must be better! She is wearing no panties and the audience just got a bird’s eye view! She just got in Dave’s face…he nutted!
Andi: I don’t care how she shuffles or who nutted over her! I think she is a cunt after bagging on the boys a few weeks ago, and I do not like her still! The exorcism obviously did not work because she is still evil!
Mike: Oh..damn! Now she is working the audience! Dave’s on his feet! Tommy is rocking! Tommy just mouthed, "That was hot" Gilby wants Dilana to win…so do I!
Andi: OMG, she just pandered to Paula Abdul! OMG, please..go home bitch! I can not believe Dave just complimented you! She sucks!
Mike: Oh, you are so hot when you are jealous! Alright, Magni, hush. I had to actually play that song in stage band in HS. You’re rocking it too boy! Unfortunately I think that your visa is about to run out and you and your 10 kids will be soon collecting firewood back in Iceland! Wait…you and the house band guitar guy seem to have a thing going? Maybe, just maybe… West Hollywood, look out for Magni!
Andi: Mike, come on! His kids will do more than collect wood! Besides, with EVS on his head~maybe he can sell his head as advertising space on E-Bay!
Mike: LMAO…Now the original! Oh this again! Yawn.
Andi: Hey, I like this!
Mike: Andi, can you pour me another drink? Better yet, bring that fine ass over here.
Andi: *sits on Mike’s lap* Oh, come on babe…you know I would be a happy girl if Toby wins..besides, a happy Andi makes for a happy Mike!
Mike: Mmmm..love a happy Mike and Andi…and btw, after this is over, we need to go to bed! BTW, Dave is gay! Bro… Deep Purple song? Dave you just fucked up! That was not a Deep Purple song! OK, maybe it is…. Jason, I applaud you for wearing a tie!
Andi: OMG! Jason looks like an idiot wearing a tie! What happened to the good days of him in the Metallica t-shirts! Seriously! All of these guys need a stylist! Maybe you can do it when you retire Mike! LOL..
Mike: Alright it’s official! Dilana is 1st! I told all of you since the start! Have a nice evening! OK Andi, time to pay up on the bet!
Andi: Hey, it is not over till it’s over! And don’t forget the part of the bet I get whether Dilana wins or not….let’s got to bed! Turn off the lights!

Reporting naked from the comfort of our hotel room....stay tuned for the finale comments tomorrow night!

xoxo!
Andi and Mike

Im Procrastinating..

2006-09-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am procrastinating. I have a ton of work to do, but instead I am blogging.

Today is 9/11. I feel traumatized. There is too much media coverage; too much remembering the horror of that day. Granted, I agree we need to remember and we need to see what we lost, but I can not handle watching all of the pain and the suffering that is being showed.

243 Firefighters died that day. One of them was named Matt. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was 34 years old, and one of my bestfriends. We talked about getting married one day, and joked about having children; we were in love.

I talked to him while I was in Austin on 9/1o (at a training) and cried in the airport the morning of 9/11 when I saw what had happened on the television. I knew he was there. I could not get in touch with him; his Captain told me that he would probably not be back. I sobbed while I slept in the airport that night because all the planes were grounded and the local hotels were booked. My cell phone lay on my chest. I prayed he would call. He never did.

It seems like such a blur, and it is hard to believe it is 5 years later...5 years without him. I moved on....I got married and had a daughter. I know he is happy for me. He has no idea how empty I feel sometimes.

I told you I would tell you one day...this why I hate Texas. It reminds me of the pain I felt that day.

I miss him.
I never talk about it.
It still hurts.

xoxo!
andi

PS~ROCKSTAR review tomorrow and I have NO idea who should win BB..although, Mike would be the ho if Erika did!!

Huh?

2006-09-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

Huh?
Serious?
What the Fuck!!!

Now Im confused...

Pour me a drink!

xoxo!

andi

2006-09-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

Wish you were here..

My dear friend and colleague left us six months ago today. My heart has been heavy, and my mind foggy today. So, I leave with you his favorite song. I miss him so much.

xoxo!
andi

Flying Solo with Mike...

2006-09-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am solo on this evening presenting to you the weekly “Rock Star” review. Andi, or “Ms. Thang” as I call her has been under the weather and not up to par tonight and apparently she is boycotting the review this week because she is mourning the loss of Ryan last week.

Personally, I think that I wore that young, hot ass out, but hey~Just saying. I know that I have been walking a bit bowlegged lately. Anyway, after this review I will have to continue solo after the show where as I am not used to that--what is Andi punishing me for? My opinions? Yes, she owes me big time! Handcuffs, ball gags, oh, yeah… right, on with the review!

On with my play by play..literally…

So Brooke came out looking like a pregnant zebra! Yes, she is having Tommy’s baby! Gilby took them all to write a song. Toby rocked, Lukas sucked. Dilana? What the fuck? Girl, are you losing it? You can sing but can you write? Toby just kicked your ass!!

OMG, they have to do a song plus one of there own? Dilana, ignorant? Say it’s not so!

Oh, Dilana is injured, got carried out by that huge brotha from Green Mile~

Dilana – The Who…. Not feeling it from the start! Oh wait, here it comes… Bring it Biotch! Dilana is rocking on the stool! OMG.. I wanna be that stool! Oh, nice harmonics with the cute house band guitar boy! Tommy looks stoned! Unimpressed! Tommy, why the shades Mate? OK.. So, so performance. Now the original. Once again is Dilana! Oh NO! Not the one leg junkie hop! Dilana looks like she just got hobbled by Kathy Bates. Oh, please sit down! Nice blue extensions girl! Oh the pain, the leg, but great song! Can anyone say “Ello Mate”. Toby has it! Someone put Dilana down. She can not dance on one leg! Great song though. Dave hates it! Oh, Tommy thought it was banging! Gilby the “philosopher” just got booed! Jason knows he wants Dilana!

Super Nova is Sold Out at the joint in Vegas. Second show added on New Years Day! House band is opening! Will Tommy sleep that night? Watch out Ticketmaster… Rockstar.MSN.com

Magni up next~let me go pour a stiff one for this! Back in the USSR. Rock it Magni! He is a great cover band guy! Gilby is masturbating on the sidelines! Magni, “Bitch please”. John Lennon is rolling in his shallow grave and Paul and Ringo are on their way to bitch slap you! This is not Karaoke Star, it is Rock Star! Iceland misses you. You are officially deported! OK~Now your original translated into English.. This should be good! I am lost in the translation Magni! BTW.. Journey already did this song I think? I am about to break out the parachute pants… The house band is in agony! See You Magni! Go grow some hair! What is up with the big ass watch? Even the snackies in the audience are looking at you like “Dude, what the fuck”? THANK GOD IT IS OVER. “Molten hot Magni” from Dave. You know where his mind is. OK, Tommy thinks the performance was the same. Magni says because they were both performed by “ME”. The philosopher Gilby chimed in agreement.

Brooke’s titties are getting huge! Storm is up next, time for another drink!

OK, Storm is up there looking like Charlie Chaplin! David Bowie again, wait, Dave is joining! Dave, you look like Eddie Munster on Heroin! Storm is hot in that outfit. Oh Storm, not a night for a shaky voice, and the eyes have taken orbit! Right now the audience is carrying you! What up with the clown shoes? Your original better rock Storm! If not you’ll be singing “My Bologna has a first name”. Now the original~ Storm is moist, BTW…. “What the What is lady like”? Oh you are so gone Ho! Nice wife beater, looking like Kid Rock! Your song is all over the fucking place! Get off the stage! Get! NOW! Storm Large, the next spokes-ho for lesbian rights. You better learn how to play golf, because you can not sing, you can not write and the Axl look is over a decade old. Take your clown shoes and go home!

Dave is up her ass already, calling her great. Dave, which great singers have you been on stage with? Go beat off and come back. Tommy Just nutted! “You all feeling me”. Gilby in check with the others.

Lukas is up next. I need to move my bowels for this.

Ok, back….

Oh Andi, where are you? I so need you right now!

Lukas – Oh NO… NOT BON JOVI! LIVING ON A PRAYER! I WILL KILL YOU! It SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING SUCKS! DIE YOU BITCH! Jon B is on his way to slap your balls! NEWS FLASH – Lukas, punk is gone! They are laughing at you, you are a cross between Marilyn Manson and Bozo the clown! If I ever meet you I am going to break your nose! You totally butchered a great song and you will pay! Now your original! About your Mother? She’ll be one her way to slap your balls as well! GAWD, you so fucking suck! I hope you end up with Zayra in TJ taking it like a champ! Lukas, “You’re making my head spin”. Someone give him a double barrel and end this! Oh, I am going to be sick! BRB!

Of course Dave, is going emo on us. He dug it in visions of Zippos being lit for that crappy song. Tommy is asking the audience and Gilby forgot he was once in a real rock band!

Toby is next. I don’t know if I should break out the lube or pour another drink! I am so pissed at Lukas. “I will find you boy!”

Ok, Toby Time – “Ello Mate”… Killers? Good start! Looking hot, sounding great! The chick in the audience just came! Yes, you are the real deal! Sorry Dilana, you being crippled and talking shit… Toby has it in my book. I am not sure Narcotics Anonymous is convinced though. You are a little too “POP” and “GAY” for them. They are having visions of “Wham” right about now! Now, your original! Oh, great start. Sounding a bit like “Oingo Boingo”, with the “Oh Oh’s” but… Everyone is on their feet giving you the fist dance! Tommy just winked at Gilby, he wants you mate! Man the house band can rock! I think Tommy nutted again! OMG…. Tommy just grabbed your ass dude, you’re in! Ask for a bonus, I hear that he is hung like “Mr. Ed”. (Dave is jealous btw). Dave is sporting wood! Dave love’s you! Tommy came again! Gilby is foaming at the mouth! Jason is on you! Congrats! See you on tour! Sorry Dilana! Get your leg fixed and we’ll talk!

Andi, get over Ryan’s demise..stop puking, and working so hard, and get the fuck back here next week. This flying solo sucks!

xoxo!
mike

Hiatus Time...

2006-09-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends...

There is not enough time in the day lately for me to complete all of my tasks, concentrate on school, finish my consulting jobs, and be the mom/wife I should be. So, at this time I am bidding you farewell....

As if...

Actually, I am taking a little hiatus to get some things caught up...I will be back...just not sure when!

So, feel free to talk amongst yourselves in the comments, throw a party, wreck the place a bit, and check out my archives!

See you soon!

xoxo~!
andi

Tales from the Couch..Sexy Mike Style..

2006-08-31T17:32:00.000-07:00

I am so happy tonight..finally, after the negotiations..and rug burns mind you, I have FINALLY got my LOVE, Sexual Advisor, Partner in Crime and Best-Blogger-Friend…Sexy Mike on the Couch!!
So, let’s get this party started!!

Andi: Hey Baby, How are you?
Mike: My, my do you look hot tonight?
Andi: Thank you. So do you. But, seriously here is your first question..If you were a body of water which would you be and why?
Mike: A body of water huh? I would have to be the Gulf of California or as the locals call it the “Sea of Cortez”. My reason is, I am warm like the Mexican sea. Not to mention that I would be close to Cabo. Other things come to mind but? Is this a “G” rated session?
Andi: Is anything G rated with us? LMAO..Alright, Favorite memory?
Mike: You mean besides you and me the other night? OK, I know… I’ll try and be serious. I really have many. I can not put my finger on just one, but the first thing that comes to mind is flying back from Kuwait after Desert Strom and landing in New York to change planes. We were in full desert uniforms and as we walked the corridor, everyone stood and started clapping. I remember tears running down my face.
Andi: Babe, the other night was nothing…what about three months ago? Um, okay moving right a long…Promise or Deceit?
Mike: Is this a trick question? This is one of those analysis questions huh? I would have to say “Promise”. A promise is sacred and a test of ones true self. It is getting hot in here, can I take this off?
Andi: Ah, I was done with your analysis months ago. You know that! So, here is the next one…If you could choose a name for yourself other than your name now, what would it be and why?
Mike: Jean-Luc Picard! No, really… This is a tough one. I like my birth name of Michael James. I don’t like that there are so many Mikes or Michaels and most of them are ex boyfriends and from what I hear dicks. Sorry, I can not picture me being anyone but Mike.
Andi: Actually, I can not picture you as anyone else either…but Michael James, hmmm..I’ll remember that next time I scream your name out…you may like it! Okay, Guilty Pleasure? Besides me of course!
Mike: Oh, you are so bad Andi! I have many really, but I will share with you one of my biggest secrets. I adore Oreo cookies. They are like an aphrodisiac to me. Really. Got any? I’ll prove it! Lucky Charms are a close second.
Andi: Damn it! And, all the Oreo’s are gone in this office! But, I will make a trip to the store when we are done! Until then, If you were one of the main characters in a novel who would you be and why?
Mike: Oh, that is easy, Romeo. I think my boy was too quick to throw down on the poison. I mean, sure he loved her, sure she was hot, but as far as he knew she was dead and there were many more maidens in the kingdom. I could have set the stage for R&J II
Andi: Oh, I would buy tickets for that one! Alright, Oral?
Mike:Is that a question or a proposition?
Andi: It is a question..propositions happen after the couch session!
Mike: Yes, Oral. I love it. Both to receive and to partake in. The truth of the matter is, I would much rather put the time and effort performing orally on someone. It is ore satisfying and I enjoy it so much more. Do we need a break?
Andi: Break? Why do I look flustered now..or can you tell I am in need of a panty change now? Let’s just get this done so we can get back to our negotiation process! Hmmm..okay, the one thing you have to do before you leave the house and why?
Mike: You are evil! Yes, I have a mild case of OCD. I gotta go around the house and make sure that everything is turned off. Iron, Stove, extinguishable. It is pathetic. I have turned around and went back home because I thought that I may have missed something.
Andi: Oh, Babe..you are NOT evil. I kind of like your mild compulsion and attention to details! Trust me, they make you extremely desirable in many ways! So, here is a scenario:
You and I are invited to pick the new lead singer for SuperNova. We are in Southern California, and Tommy Lee tells us if we can agree on one person to front their band, and actually believe we both picked the right person then we get a free trip to Jamaica—fully paid for three weeks.Although the trip is enticing, and you would love to be alone with me drinking rum for three weeks, you are concerned that we can not agree and you refuse to alter your decision. What would you do to make sure that we agree, win the trip, make the right decision for SuperNova, and get to drink rum together for three weeks?? How would you go about it, and what strategies would you use?

Mike: I should have seen this one coming. Well you know my pick and I know that you will never agree to pick her. I do like rum, and the thought of you and me alone in Jamaica is enough to sport wood. So, I would take your choice and my choice and get them to sing for us alone, one on one with no band. They would have to sing the songs we gave them as many times as it took for us to agree. I we still could not come to one choice, I’d either try and bribe Tommy with some crack or attempt to whore you out to SuperNova to get to go on the trip without you! Ouch! I am just playing.
Andi: Fucker! I bet I could pimp you out first! Besides, you know exactly what I need to give into you! *wink*
Andi: Final Thoughts?
Mike: This was fun. It was nice to finally meet you with clothes on and in your office. People have no idea that you’re a lot hotter in person! I am a bit disappointed though, I am just getting warmed up…. How much for another session?
Andi: I’ll put it on your tab!

Happy HNT Thursday!
Xoxo~
Andi

PS~WTF, happened? Did Ryan REALLY go home last night on ROCKSTAR? I am mourning today…this is the most outrageous thing since Chris Daughtery left AI!

Kickin it with Mike and Andi...

2006-08-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo…it is ROCKSTAR: SuperNova Review time, and you are kickin it..Mike and Andi Style!! So, it is the night that the rockers sing the songs that America wants to hear!

Our thoughts on Dilana’s Stupidity…
Mike: What did you say to the press? Where the fuck have I been?
Andi: OMG, Mike were you not paying attention?….Dilana, you are one dumb bitch! Bagging on your friends..who the fuck cares if you apologize..serious! Boo hoo..who cares about your trying to make amends..please! I don’t care if you can sing..all I am is blinded by your being a bitch!! And, nice little tantrum..you are lucky as hell that you did not cut Magni's eye….you can't fix it…you suck!!

Our thoughts on Lukas…
Mike: Lukas, even though you look like you were just released from the Methadone clinic, you rocked Nirvana. My girl nailed it better a few weeks back, but props!
Andi: Lukas…. sweet little FAS man or as Mike calls you the man from the Methadone Clinic…now, here you are doing my fav… Nirvana tune! Lithium!! So, I kind of digged the lounge style beginning..and I have to admit, you rocked this harder than the devil version Dilana did..you definitely found the friends in your head today! But, word of advice..got to do something about the hair..you look like a rooster died on your head!

Our thoughts on Magni…
Mike: Magni, once you got done dogging all of the other guys and convincing us that you’re truly hot, you took another favorite of mine by LIVE and brought the chills. I like the way all the guys were touching you once you hit the audience. You must have convinced them that you’re hot. I, for one do not see it-- (and obviously Andi does) but singing that song the way you did might make me temporarily switch teams!
Andi: Magni…rockin it to Live..OMG, you make me wanna cum when I hear you wail those tunes acoustically!! Your performance was so great! I love you man, and this was one of my favorite performances of yours!! And, I know this is Mike’s favorite song, next to “our song--Black”…

Our thoughts on Ryan…
Mike: Ryan, since you’re going back to the piano to try and save your ass, I will tell you that from the first note you were off key. When you dared to jump off of the piano, I winced expecting a broken leg! Even with the GoodWill Thrift Store look and the un-combed hair, I could not feel ya. You ended by humping and nutting on the piano, not attractive from where I was sitting. I knew you were gone. Yes, Dave loves you but he is horny! And, fucken Andi..I dont know what she is thinking! Just sayin..
Andi: OMG, Mike, what the hell! Ryan is HOT!! And then, Ryan and Coldplay..Clocks, I hate this song to begin with, but damn please fuck me on that piano, or at least let Mike and I borrow it for a little while!! I loved the dramatic beginning, and I loved your getting up and rocking out to the crowd and then sliding up across the piano…oh, did I mention I want to do you on the piano or anywhere else..seriously! Um, and Mike will you please take pictures..I will need souvenirs!

Our thoughts on Storm…
Mike: Storm, I have really dogged you in the past, but I went into this hoping that you would nail this song. Another fav… I was nervous at the start until Toby jumped in. From there you rocked. For the first time I could see you in front of Narcotics Anonymous. On another note, the dress? Where did you find that? Not attractive, it highlighted the fact that you got some big ass knobby looking legs
Andi: OMG, I love you seriously…mmmm..and this new pic of you is HOT! I agree, I am not a fan of that dress. Wow, when Toby came out..I blanked out for a minute? Mike, did you notice the sexual seizure I went into…OMG, could you imagine a Storm and Toby sandwich! Oh, and she sounds great too…pass the Dilantin….I need to control these tremors!

Our thoughts on Toby…
Andi: Oh, they showed the naked Toby again…mmmm…Andi likes! Anyway, I love Rebel Yell, and I love you seriously! Mmm..your voice rocked, and you are hot!! That naughty little look in your eyes is just scrumptious..seriously~but, all that aside..you have one of the best chances to front this band! But, hell why couldn’t I be up there on the stage with ya?
Mike: Toby, you looked great as always and you brought it! Great job and killer song. Dilana, meet your competition!! Oh, and Toby, you made a few fans bringing those hootchies up on stage with ya! And, I thought Andi was going to cum herself!

Our thoughts on Dilana’s Tune…
Andi: Um, I love Mother, Mother..your voice rocked, your look was frightening…your jump rocked, your bass rocked. I still think you are a cunt because of your comments and bad attitude, and that move of putting your leg on the shoulder of the bassist..was scary. I hope he checks for crabs..seriously!
Mike: Dilana, you came on with that scary hotness. A flying V? OMG. Once again, “Will you marry me?” I hate the song the people made you do, but you pulled it off as always and with the several ass shots the camera guy provided, I am putty in your hands.

Last Words from Mike….
NEWS FLASH – Tommy Lee has stolen Paris Hilton’s pink cowboy hat! News at 11. OBSERVATION – The house band has to be one of the most rocking fucking bunch of musicians I have ever seen on a stage at one time. They need to form their own band!

Last Words from Andi…
Um, I am lost…I just saw Toby and Storm on stage, and I saw Ryan rock out spralled out on a piano~! OMG, pass the towel, and Mike lets go hit it cause now I am horny!!

xoxo~
Andi and Mike

PS~ Alright, you have seen him rant, and rave…you have seen his hot body and asked for him to do a calendar…but now, you get to see him on my couch! Yep, sexy Mike has agreed to let this chica put him on the couch (after several hours of sexual favors)…so stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment of Tales from the Couch…Sexy Mike style….

Southern Smarts..

2006-08-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

I am back! Hello y'all! Woo Howdy...alright, so I am a little Southern now..officially..alright sorta! I have learned a lot on my trip to the great Commonwealth of Kentucky...so, I thought I would share with ya'all...

1) All men in the South sound sexy as hell with those accents..YUM!
2) There are a hell of a lot of red-heads and strawberry blondes!
3) Men wear undershirts under their button up shirts..even their polos!
4) A man will open the door for you even if he has to go out of his way to do so.
5) You get called ma'am a lot.
6) The homeless will give you flowers before they ask you for money.
7) There is a church every few yards; and none of them were Catholic.
8) Women actually do their hair...and accesorize; even at 6 in the morning.
9) The state fair is a HUGE deal!
and the best thing I learned in KY..

They have something called Derby Pie...it is an orgasm in a pie crust! OMG, pecans and chocolate...all gooey together..I ate it for dinner for three nights! YUM!

Happy Monday Friends!
xxoo~
Andi

PS~I wanted to give a shout out to the little military men in the Chicago airport. They just got back from Iraq, and were getting ready to go back to San Diego. They asked if they could take a pic with us because we were the first women they had seen that smiled at them. Of course we took our pics with them, and gave them all a hug and kiss, thanking them for their service. It was very touching to see people who actually are fighting for us..thank you!!

Tales from the Couch..Hottie Jon Style..

2006-08-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

Alright, here we are..it is Tales From the Couch time…and this week, I am honored to present to you one of my favorite blogger friends, and my new crush…Jon! So, hang on and check this hottie out!

Andi: Welcome Gorgeous..Damn, thanks for being here!
Jon: First of all I want to tell you how honored I feel being allowed to be on your couch.
Andi: Ah, babe it is an honor to have you here. Wow, you have gorgeous eyes..anyway before I can't concentrate..Leather or Lace?
Jon: Thats not an easy question to answer. Both look damn good on a woman. I think I lean toward lace because it means you’re that much closer to being naked. I would love to see you in either… or help you out of either.
Andi: Ah, babe..you could help me out of anything!! Anytime! Alright, next question..
If you could have dinner with one famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and why?
Jon:There are so few famous people that I would really want to have dinner with. The reasons vary. On one hand I would love to meet Adam Sandler because I hear he is one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but I don’t know. I tend to gravitate toward music all the time, so I think I would like to have dinner with Paul McCartney. I think he is one classy guy. I also want to get his take on Michael Jackson and hear him rant about his future ex-wife. Can I change my answer to Hugh Hefner?
Andi: LOL, no..you can not change! But, if you want to mess around in The Grotto sometime, let me know! Alright, what is your favorite month and why?
Jon: Not an easy choice either girl. I think they all have good things about them, but I think I would go with December. Not because of Christmas really, but because that is when I get to see most if not all of my immediate family every year. Sure this is because of the holiday, but I am not into Christmas that much.
Andi: Nice answer…love a man who loves his family! Alright, Tell me a deep dark secret.
Jon:Now you’re just getting nosey. I don’t have a whole lot of secrets. I am a pretty open guy. I’ll tell people just about anything. Are you ready? I had a 3 some. Me, a lady I used to work with, and one of my best friends. Yes, a guy. Before you even ask, No, he and I never “crossed swords”. She was into both of us, so we both got into her. It’s amazing what some people will do when they are going through a divorce.
Andi: Hey, what you do with your sword is your deal! Nice! Okay, um here is a scenario..
You see me every morning when we are at Starbucks. I am a stranger to you, but you have noticed you are becoming very attractive to me. What do you do to make me notice you?
Jon: Well, I know I would smile and say “Good morning”, but past that I think it depends on if you’re having your coffee there or to go. I think if you’re having it there I would ask you if I could join you at your table. If “to go” then time is of the essence, so I would probably try to think of something witty to say about seeing you tomorrow.
Andi: Wow, if you would sit at the table with me if I drank my latte there..then I would never get it “to go” again! Lol, okay now on a serious note..Least favorite memory?
Jon: Did you really want to ask me this? This is easily thoughts about the evening that I found out my sister was really sick. She died just a few hours later. It is one of the few things that can bring me to tears just with a thought. Can you pass me a tissue please?
Andi: *Passing tissue..and giving hug* Wow, I am so sorry..okay, let me see. Um, what legacy do you wish to leave for your family and friends?
Jon:I think a legacy of good times that we would have even without having a reason other than just being together. It seems no matter how mundane the circumstances of a get together are we would always make it fun and full of laughter… and beer. But for my kids I would like to leave a legacy of respect for themselves and others as well as knowledge of how to better take care of their personal finances. That was something I did not learn from my folks. They’ll need it especially knowing how their mother is. Don’t get me started.
Andi: Wow, nice! Okay, describe yourself as a dinner entrée.
Jon: I am a perfectly cooked juicy 16 ounce T-Bone steak, cooked medium. Just enough pink so you know I am tender and juicy and full of flavor. I melt in your mouth with every bite. Would you like to devour me now?
Andi: Um, speechless now and totally giving up on being a vegetarian! Wow, yeah..I think I could devour you..um, as I fantasize about that…Pain or Gain?
Jon: I don’t know. Can you have much gain without some pain? I think they go hand in hand. I believe that to achieve any meaningful gain you will definitely have hurdles to jump over. Plus if you make a mistake maybe someone with give you a spanking.
Andi: Mmm..spanking and devouring you..omg, you are killing me here! Alright, final thoughts?
Jon: When I first volunteered for this I hardly knew you. I think when you don’t know someone it is easier to tell your secrets, fears and anxieties. Then I got to know you a little, and the thought of sitting on your couch started to make me nervous. I think the last couple days you’ve been buttering me up to make me feel at ease about exposing myself.
Andi: LMAO..uh oh, you are on to me! Damn, you are great..no wonder I have a crush! Thanks babe!

Alright, so there he is! Check him out at http://jonslifecontinued.blogspot.com/

Xoxo~
Andi

PS~I will be back after my trip to the Southland…woo hoo!

Random, Review Ramblings..RockStar Style..

2006-08-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

Andi:OMG..Dilana was naked! Wow, I was impressed..but I wanna see Ryan naked next!
Mike: Damn Andi, what is it with you and that guy? Seriously! Has anyone noticed that Brooke is Prego?
Andi: Patrice, her original song..Beautiful Things..didn’t hate it..didn’t love it. I still think she sounds like she would rock as a solo performer. She still reminds me of Alanis. Hmmm..I wonder if she would go down on you in a theatre too?
Mike: Patrice needs her highlights redone! With the guitar again? Is this a Go Go’s reunion? Stop looking at your hands while playing guitar! Again, the eyebrows are uneven…Gilby’s dog is wincing at your voice! Just because Tommy is high and getting into it doesn’t mean you’re good! Why is your belt buckle on your hip? Is that in style? Just asking? Dave’s a fag!
Andi: Fuck, someone pass Mike the Haldol, your getting a little too fashionista on me! Good thing we are doing this review naked!
Mike: Whatever! Tommy is a brother now and can not wear his hat straight. Jason is wearing Michael Jackson Gloves!
Andi: *Rolling eyes at Mike*… Smells Like Teen Spirit..and Magni..yeah, I love Nirvana, and get pissed when someone ruins a good tune. I felt like I was at a cover band performance. Not my fav!
Mike: Does Nirvana get proceeds from this show? How long has it been since Kurt ate a barrel? Magni has the Gangster look tonight, watch out, and with the gay keyboards backing him he looks real bad ass! Honestly, I could sing this song better! If you thought that you could not understand Kurt, check out Magni (http://www.rockstar.msn.com/) Sorry Magni, I had high hopes for you, but you’re outta there!
Mike: Dilana has some knobby knees BTW. Tommy giving rock star advice? Yeah right..he spent most of his career in fucken rehab. If Dave wants to see something broken..What about his relationship with Carmen?
Andi:Shhh..Ryan is up now..with an original song..I lost it when you told me that I could take my clothes off! Holy crap babe..you rocked!! OMG, I can see me cumming over and over to your CD, and not just because you are fine, but because you rock the vocals too! And Mike, he got laid..what the fuck! Were you there?? I wanna be there!
Mike: Ryan (You will not be a star) – Again an 80’s keyboard ridden glam song. And it is his own….. Bye-Bye Ryan. His tongue is red like he just sucked on a Now – n – Later. Ryan, your guitar is outta tune mate! You’re now not only sucking but making the house band look bad. You deserve a ball slapping for that! What is up with the Shinade O’Conner scream? Again with the scream…Ryan, brush your hair!
Andi: OMG, Mike..clean your ears!
Mike: What? Stop thinking with your hormones and listen! You seriously think that guy got laid? Only if he was a VIP at the Donkey Show this week! Maybe Zayra hooked him up.
Andi: Whatever, pass me a beer..and here comes, my girl Storm..Woo Hoo..Cryin by Aerosmith..mmmm..she looks hot as hell! And she rocked this song! OMG..now I am having visions of a 3some with her and Ryan. Wow, maybe I am just thinking with my clit!
Mike: Oh, Andi..you really need to get some! Maybe we can take care of some business after this show is over! Anyway, as for Storm, (Check out her big ass Jawbone) Getting brave with a great Aerosmith song…. Good luck shaky eyes! Oh she got the Hello Kitty glitter kit from Zayra! Hmmm…I am undecided…she sounds OK, but is scary to look at! Sorry Storm, I tried to get into you, but the fact is you just can not sing! Bye Bye! You’re pretty sexy though!
Andi: LMAO..oh, my… Mike!! Come on, she is hot as hell and she wailed! Alright, so we can talk about my not getting any later; not during the review..so, moving onto..Dilana!
Mike: Dilana! – Every breath you take… OK, I am Scared! Nice look! What is up with the eye lashes? Great stage presence! Looking like a Goth Cindy Lauper! She’s got it! She has already won! Again! Great show! Oh Dilana, the mom story brought tears to my eyes!
Andi: I will admit since the exorcism, I love her voice. I am not digging the outfit or the weird ass eyelashes..those scared me too! Quick, Mike..let’s go to our happy place! Anyway, she rocked that. Not sure that was my fav of the night though! Ah, and her mom story was sweet!
Andi: Mmm..Toby and Layla….did not really dig the arrangement! But, you know I see those blue eyes and hear that hottie voice, and I just melt! I think it was kind of cool. And, oh my..he took his shirt off! How about you Mike? What you think?
Mike: Layla? As you know Andi this is a favorite of mine! So, he starts out and I think, “Don’t fuck it up!” Too late you already have! Oops I was wrong, you’re bringing it in a weird Aussie way! Dude, did that shit in your eye hurt? Took off the shirt, bitches screaming? Why? Got the audience in it, nice pull! You got the sketcher hop down… You’re a hairy little bugger aren’t you? Great job? Thunder from down under…whatever..Andi wipe the drool off your chin!
Andi: Oops..sorry about that..*wipes drool off chin* Alright, it is Lukas..The Killers? Nice sunglasses..we still know you have fetal alcohol..so don’t even try to hide it behind the shades! The song was good, but I am seeing you fall to the lower levels now. Sorry man!
Mike: The Killers? Looking like a played out lounge lizard Or George Michael in “Gotta Have Faith”…. Dude, your look, your voice and your dreams of being lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous are over! Get some more peroxide for you hair bitch! Lukas, you are a disappointment! I thought that you had a chance… Go hook up with Zayra in TJ! And, of course Dave loved you. What the hell happened? When did you get an accent? Do you not realize the other rockers are dogging you and your fake ass accent?

And the predictions are…
Andi: I seriously think that Ryan is gonna take it! I think he has been an underdog, but is taking the band by surprise. And, besides if Ryan becomes the lead singer then Tommy can have his left-overs!
Mike: Dilana is the winner. I’ll bet anyone on this! Alright, pass the beer and turn down the lights!

Reporting live and naked on the ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review…

xoxxo!
Mike and Andi

PS~Tomorrow, stay tuned for Tales From the Couch..Hottie Jon Style..wait till you see this one!!

Shower me..

2006-08-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

There is a place where I find solace
I can feel the water falling on my body; so invigorating
I rest my hand against the wall and feel the warmth between my legs
The water pools down my back
The steam rises up around me
I reach the point of no return quickly
Releasing the stress
Releasing the frustration
Thinking of you
Wanting you
Needing you
Shower me

xoxo~
andi

PS~Please go check out this site ! http://edtimestories.blogspot.com/ ..my sweet friend Edtime has been on a writing spree, and I can honestly say he really knows how to take my breath away...wow!

Andi and Mike Tuesday...

2006-08-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

RockStar Review..my fav! And, you all have to bear with me..because I have been at happy hour for several hours tonight so…this will be ROCKSTAR: SuperNova review..drunken Andi and Mike style…….(hmm…bet he is drunk too) So, let’s reintroduce ourselves as….Drunken Andi and Drunken Mike Style….

Did someone say strip..as in strip down? And naked Toby..I almost could not even watch any longer because I was in need of a little alone time in the shower…but then I realized it was just an acoustic hour..oh well, there is still always the vision in my head!

Andi did you say, Toby naked? Partying in Vegas? Hung over song selection? To top it all off, unplugged with a string section? Yes folks, it is "Rock Star Super Nova!"

Yep, Mike, this is gonna be a fun night..here we go…

Andi:Anyway, Zayra…original song acoustically…all I can say is that she was NOT in a cat suit this week. The crepe paper skirt and sparkly bra was not really a big difference though. I hate to say it girl, but really..that song reminded me of something I would listen to at happy hour drinking margaritas in a little Mexican restaurant (in TJ at the Donkey Show)..not Super Nova worthy my friend…someone pass me a damn bullet if she is not voted off this week!
Mike: One would think that if they had the opportunity to play their own song for Narcotics' Anonymous that they would give it their all and bring it. Zayra baby, I thought that I was wrong. I thought that you would finally be able to validate yourself and have a shot. "Spanish"? You come out and sing a Spanish ballad? What in the fuck were you thinking? You looked hot until they panned in and focused on the "Playskool" glue and glitter set you used on those hairy little "Monchichi" arms of yours. Do you really think that you could front this band? They are not "Menudo." Word of advice. Get your shots while you're still in the states and make your way back to TJ and the Donkey shows.

Andi: Magni and Bowie...not your best, not you’re worst. But, I have to admit I did feel like I was sitting in a karaoke bar..not digging the white suit or Starman..sorry!
Mike: Magni, dude, did you party too hard in Vegas. I know that it is a big step from Iceland, but "Bowie"?

Andi: Patrice..rocking the Police? I got a message in a bottle for you…you just are not rocking it like you used to babe…I think it is time to think about a solo career. And by the way, I am sending an SOS that I do not have to sit through one more of Zayra’s performances! But, you Patrice, I dig but I don’t think you are SuperNova lead singer material!
Mike: Patrice, you flat out blew. You didn't hit one note correctly and your skank wear is growing old. Change your drawers Bitch and bring it or be gone.

Andi: Lukas, Hero?? You were my hero after that performance..you have talent babe! Keep it up. I would love to see you without the eye shadow though.
Mike: Lukas, I thought that your voice sucked. Do not get a big head because you got props from the ex-junkies. Remember, you were the first good act of the night. That is not saying a lot considering. You need to lay off the "Hello Kitty" watercolor make up set and concentrate on your performances. At one point I thought you had a chance, but now I have visions of you picking up trash in NYC with "Boy George".

Andi: Storm, I will survive…damn, you are one sexy bitch, but I am kind of missing the slutty little rock-slut you were. I have to admit, I agree with the boys..it was not a great performance. But your vocals rock, and you are still hot as hell!
Mike: Storm? Have you ever done the "Hustle"? Gloria Gaynor? "I will survive"? On this night that was a huge Oxymoron. No wonder Studio 54 got shut down. Kudos on keeping the shaker eyes in check however.

Andi: Toby rocking out with Gilby..and rocking out to Peter Gabriel, um not bad..still thinking of you naked, and I totally digged you playing the bongos..mmmm…*reaching for toy again*
Mike: Toby, I respect you for getting nude to play with Gilby, kinda gay, but there is nothing wrong with that, but I hate that song. With that said, you made it bearable and "Sleepless without Carmen" thought that it was "Dope". You are the last hope for any male making the band, so bring your game from here on out mate!

Andi: I can feel my cumming..for you tonight Ryan, OMG you rocked that Phil Collins song..wow, oh wow..just sayin, you did a great job and I am agreeing with Dave, best performance of the night!
Mike: Ryan. Oh Ryan. When you came out on stage sounding like "Happy Gilmore" looking like you were auditioning for the "Phantom of the Opera", I knew this was your week to go. Then you did something I had never seen before. You sang! A great vocal performance and a great song. If you wanted to seal your fate you would have hit the drums at the pinnacle of the song, but you were strong boy! Kinda too late however.

Andi: Dilana, you did a great job with Cat in the Cradle..I like you, especially since the exorcism but you sound the same..I am not sure if you are SuperNova worthy..
Mike: Last but surely not least and as "Mr. Dope, everyday is Halloween, back from the dead" put it, "The best performance of the night". You said it best yourself Dilana. "I told you guys, I am the one"! Dilana, congrats, you are the new lead singer of "Narcotics' Anonymous" AKA Super Nova. You not only once again put on a great show, but you nailed a classic which happens to mean a lot to me and is my number one all time favorite song! Despite the Junkie Shuffle, greasy hair and all of the shit in your face and god knows where else, I would marry you as long as I could hear that devilish voice nightly!

And the Andi and Mike actually agree and love it when you are naked..or at least when you get naked to win a song award goes to Toby.

And of course the award for please go home before our ears bleed out and the donkey misses you and needs to go on anti-depressants award goes to Zayra!

There you go friends..stay tuned! And the pic tonight is of Dilana..the Devil herself! Still can not believe Mike would marry you!!

xoxo~
Drunken Andi and Mike

They say it like it is..

2006-08-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all we need to know about life..we can learn about through television. Sad, I know..but check these quotes out...

On Love..
Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.

On Intimacy..
I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

On Pain..
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

On Adulthood..
We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

On Standing your Ground..
Don't look at me like that, like you've seen me naked.

If only had I payed more attention to television earlier...

xoxo!
andi

PS~Stay tuned for ROCKSTAR review and the next installment of Tales from the Couch..

Tales from the Couch..KJ Style..

2006-08-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

Wow, I love these couch sessions..not only are they interesting, but nothing is better than sitting in session with the sexiest people in blogland! So, for your viewing pleasure, and I know I found this quite pleasurable myself, I present to you one of my favorite Southern MILFS...the gorgeous Ms. KJ..check her link out at Kinky KJ on my side bar!

So, hold onto your hats and do the happy naked dance..cause it is time for another installment of Tales from the Couch...KJ Style...

Andi: If you could be a fruit or vegetable which would you be and why?
KJ: Wow, if I could be a fruit or vegetable which would I be..........hmmm, I think I would be a pineapple because it has a tough, hard, outer protective covering but if you take the time and are patient enough, once you crack that shell the inside is actually very soft and sweet. Corny, huh?
Andi: Actually, not corny at all! I love pineapple..and wow, you have one sexy accent..mmm..anyway, Lust or Love?
KJ: Oh Andi, the lust or love question........this causes so much debate on my blog...ha. I want the love. I don't think I've ever had it but if I got to choose just one of those I would want someone to be unconditionally in love with me and I with him. Hopeless romantic at heart I guess.
Andi: Sweetie, you totally deserve the love too..now, I need to start looking through my black book for some hotties for you..but while I do that..describe yourself as a plant.
KJ: A plant? I sure wish I was a plant person right now.......hmmm, I'm too redneck to try and sell myself as a rose or some fancy plant but I'm not skunkweed either .......I think I'd be a wildflower. I'm feisty and can survive the storm.
Andi: LMAO, that is great! Alright, what season best describes your personality and why?
KJ: Andi.........you know I'm a southern girl. I enjoy the sun, the heat, the water, the summer season!!! Winter is just too cold and lonely feeling for me. I need the sun and being able to enjoy myself outdoors, plus I look really silly wearing halter tops in December!!!!
Andi: *thinks to self…tell KJ not to wear halter top when she comes to snowboard*
Um, if you could rewind and relive one year of your life what year would it be and why?
KJ: There are so many things I'd like to take back and have a rewind button to press. This question makes me a little sad because I know without a doubt the year I would choose to go back and redo. I would go back to my senior year in high school, I would have never dated the abusive boyfriend, I would have never gotten kicked out of my parents home in the middle of the school year, I would have never moved in with the boyfriend after graduation..........I would have gone to college.......I think that year would have changed my life if I had just realized that he wasn't worth giving it all up for........
Andi: Often our struggles shape who we are today, and since I have known you my friend, you are one hell of a woman and you should admire yourself for that. I know I do! Okay, shame or guilt?
KJ: Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? Ummm, shame or guilt, shame or guilt? I feel guilty a lot in my life.........guilty that I've let someone down, hurt someone by my choices, guilt is tough for me to get past. I carry it around, actually I don't think I've ever learned to quit feeling guilty.
Andi: I wonder if we went to the same Catholic school..LOL..alright, what song best represents you and why?
KJ: I relate to so many songs and music is a huge part of my life........I use songs everyday to relate to my moods so you would think this would be easy for me.......one song that defines me? Wow, this is tougher than I thought..........Ok can I pick two??? Pretty please with sugar on top??

Andi: Well, since you asked so sweetly with that damn cute accent..hmm..I wonder if I can buy one of those somewhere..but first I need to learn to slur the word Louisville like you guys do.
KJ: I would choose Christina Aguilera's Fighter because even after all the hurt, it made me stronger....so I thank all those people who knocked me down because in the end it just made me that much stronger and my second song is a country song........you knew I couldn't pick songs without at least one country, right?? Shania Twain's The Woman in Me. I know a bunch of y'all don't listen to country but take the time to listen to these lyrics.........this song gets me every time.
Andi: Hey, you can pick whatever songs you like as long as I do not have to listen to them. I am not a country fan at all! LOL, alright…if you could write your own obituary what would you say?
KJ: I would hope that when I die, I can say that I was a good mother and wife and a daughter that made her parents proud.
Andi: Very cool! Alright, now lets see…um, you and I go out on the town while I am in Kentucky, what would we do?
KJ: In true Kentucky fashion, I would hope you would be here during UK sports or Keeneland. Let's say football season.......we're going tailgating chica!!! You're going to wear UK clothes, we're going to load up all the necessary tailgating items, enjoy a day in the sun, cooking out, playing frisbee, cornhole, drinking, flirting with some UK boys.........enjoy the game and after the game we're going to hit the town for drinks and dancing.
Andi: Woo Hoo..but I have no fucken idea what a corn hole is..but, hey as long as it is not painful and there are hot UK guys there! Um, the only thing is..if UK is playing USC..can’t wear the UK clothes..have to fly the Trojan garb..I don’t want to have my diploma taken away! Anyway, favorite childhood memory?
KJ: First trip to Disney World at age 8. I saw the ocean for the first time, I saw Mickey.......best childhood memory by far.
Andi: Reality or Fantasy?
KJ: I'm tired of fantasizing. I'm ready for the real thing. I want my fantasies to come true........I'm ready to find the reality. I think when I answer this question though, I'm thinking about relationships and love. The rest of my life is totally reality....job, kids, home life........but when it comes to love I fantasize.........I want that a reality now.
Andi: *still thumbing through black book of hotties* Best kiss you ever had...and share details!
KJ: Best kiss? Honestly, not one stands out. I've had a lot of great kisses but none that I would say is the best kiss ever. I'm still waiting for it..........I've posted about wanting the perfect kiss.......so can I describe what I'm "lusting" after??
Andi: Alright, what do you lust after?
KJ: I want to feel that passion by just looking into each other's eyes, I want him to cup my face in his hand, gently brush the hair out my eyes, I want him to take my breath away with just a kiss, make me beg for more with just a kiss........when I start to lose my balance from the kiss, I want him to steady me with his hand on my hip.......I want to melt into his body with just a kiss...........

Wow, Kj..you rock and your picture is gorgeous! Now, I have to figure out what the hell corn hole is! I hope you all enjoyed!

xoxo!
andi

Its been a while...

2006-08-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I have thought about you
Your smell
The way you look when you get of the shower
Water glistening on your body
Its been awhile since I have thought of your laugh
Your grin
The way you smile when you look at me
Its been awhile since I have felt your arms around me
Your chest pressed against me
The way you hold me tight
Its been awhile...

Miss you T...

xoxo!
andi

Storytime...

2006-08-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

Alright folks..I am pre-occupied and PMSing. I am tired and un-inspired..so, please take over today. I leave you with this topic....tell me a story about this picture. Is Donald really as excited as he looks? Inquiring minds want to know!

xoxo~
andi

She Said..He Said..Rockstar Review..

2006-08-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

Oh Friends..I have a very special post for you all! Yes, Sexy Mike and myself have decided to collaborate this week and give you our ROCKSTAR: SuperNova review..right here at Andi Central! So, hold onto your shirts and hats and do the naked happy dance...and for those of you that do not watch the show..read anyway...this is some funny shit!

She said: Dilana rockin it with Gilby...The Who..wailing like the exorcised singer you are! Rock on sista!
He Said:Dilana you are a hot lesbo bitch! Really. I was laying here in my drawers sporting major chub. With Gilby behind her playing the guitar, I thought for a minute there was a GNR reunion. Dilana could pull off Axl. Would love for her to do a GNR song. She found some extensions somewhere and it looked hot. Add the red leather pants, bandana and that voice and folks, I introduce the new lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous!

She Said:Mother, Mother send Jill home! She is seriously annoying I do not care what she sounds like anymore! And, Dave..Carmela has way more class than her..no comparison! BTW, nice junkie shuffle stage dive..give it up!
He Said:Jill, your make up was bad girl. It looks like you broke out the Barbie glamour kit and went to town. Your voice was mediocre and your performance was, OK. Did you notice when you jumped into the audience, they all cleared? If you would have stage dived you'd have road rash.

She Said:Ryan, I see more than a Red Door..you are so fucken sexy..even if you were dressed like it was Halloween!! That was great! I see SuperNova in your future!!
He Said:Then comes Ryan. Dude, I have said it over and over. Do not murder the Stones. For your performance tonight, you will receive an ass whooping! What was up with the wig Rupal? Your voice was shaky and you took a perfectly good song and turned it into a Goth anthem. You suck! And by the way, remember the words to the song before you get on stage. Bitch! I think it was Tommy who laid ya! Just saying.

She said:Storm, sexy bitch..great rendition of Queen..um, btw when you are done with this ROCKSTAR thing..look me up! You are just as good to look at as you are to listen too! Mmm...
He Said: Storm looked like she was stoned out of her mind. The eyes started to bug but she got them under control. She nailed the song and the performance. I was digging her until the whole "I'll Spank You Tommy" crap. Can anyone say Hepatitis C? Beyond that she brought the Hootchie wear tonight.

She said:Zayra..um, I had no idea that Reynolds Wrap made gold foil..but apparently they do..cause you were wearing it. And I do not care if Magni was playing guitar or not..you murdered that song. And finally, make sure you give Slash his hat back before you leave on that bus back to TJ...because damn, you NEED to go!
He Said:Zayra – Girl, as hot as you are, and with the sharing of the Camel Toe tonight, I still must say that you ain't got it. What is up with putting Magni on the guitar? That was confusing. Dude, you have a talent, but I can not put my finger on what it is. But hey, there is still the Donkey Shows in TJ!

She said: Josh...Stone Temple Pilots..and Tommy Lee....still not buying it brother..just not seeing you as the front man even though I dig the way you sang tonight. But, your boggle head drives me nuts...I could see you on a dash-board of an old lady cadillac with like a siamese cat boggle statue.
He Said: Josh, I must admit you brought it with the STP song. Tommy was so excited and hyper he had to get up and play with ya. You held your own, although there were a few moments that you and the band were off. Just saying. Over all the performance was great and enough to get Scott Weiland back on Horse.

She said:Magni, I think I had my first orgasm for an Iceland dude..that rocked and you were fucken sexy as hell..nice job! Mmmm..I see an encore tomorrow night!
He Said:Magni, with his family in tow, brought it with a great song by a great band. Live is one of those bands that never gets enough props. You took them and their song to a whole new level. Sitting here barely clothed, I got Goosebumps over my body! Good job.

She said:Patrice..um, I was confused..bad Lennon rendition..and not digging the pig tails..sorry, babe!
He Said:Hey Patrice, you know that John Lennon is rolling in his grave. They should let Chapman out so he can whack you! What was up with the "Go Go" 80's look tonight? And who did your eyebrows? You look like Boy George for Christ sakes.

She said: Lukas, I am not sure what is going on dude..seriously, I think you are turning into a bit of a one trick pony..same ol' same ol'. Sorry dude, I think the special bus is on its way to get you real soon! I dont see finale time for you like I used to.
He said: Lukas, I saw you and thought that you had just exited a bathroom in a park with George Michael. Your voice was OK, but you came across as a weak ass Dr. Frank-in-Furter. I started thinking you were just a confused gay, but now you have me wondering if you're a child molester. I had faith in you. You're losing it! For whatever reason all of the judges are nice tonight and obviously deaf!

She said: Toby.. babe..seriously reaching for the toy! Not only are you fine as hell, but you made me want to burn down a house! Yum, fucken yum...
He said: Toby my man, you nailed Talking Heads. I wanted to go start a fire after that performance. Dude, I'd just might do you. You reminded me of Michael Hutchenson of INXS. Dude, do not get into the freaky sex shit. You had Tommy dancing on the sidelines like a little school girl. Although the Megaphone is played out, it was great. I see that you were digging Zayra's toe too! Dave gave you shit, but he isn't getting any and Dennis Rodman is bagging Carmen again!

So, the award for..Mike and Andi FINALLY agree and want to set fires and fuck you goes to..
Toby!

Stay Tuned Folks..Mike and I are just getting started!

xoxo!
andi and mike

Saturday Song...

2006-08-05T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hmmm..I just realized that my blog is going to hell..I have no focus anymore. I guess I will have to do something to revamp it. So, leave me your comments of what you want more of, and I will see what I can do. In the meantime..here is a Saturday Song to keep you all entertained...

oxoxox!
andi

"All I Ever Wanted" By Train

You were my ticket outta here
And I was your dream come true
You gave me everything I ever wanted
Except for you

I convinced my self that over don't mean over
And I convinced myself that I could fix it all
Two dreams collided maybe we got too excited for our own good

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding each other while the words all break it
Move on you know we'll be stronger in the end

Now I convinced myself that nothing could ever tear me away
And I convinced myself that we'd look back and laugh at this one day
Two lives collidin' baby
We got too excited for our own good

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding our breath while the truth all breaks it
Move on ya know we'll be stronger in the end

Hey wait hey don't you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
Hey wait hey don't you wanna hear what I have to say
Hey wait hey don't you know that this is where the strong go on

And all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
Was you

No more - hold on we can make it
No more holding each other while the world tries to break us
Move on ya know we'll be stronger in the end

Hey wait hey don't you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
Hey wait hey don't you wanna hear what I have to say
Hey wait hey don't you know this is where the strong will go on

And all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
Was you

Tales from the Couch..Mongoose Style...

2006-08-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks for posting this late! I had some technical issues! Anyway, check out my favorite furry little lawyer from the South..yes, I know, I always say I hate lawyers..but this little hottie changed my mind. Anyway, check out his site on my link list to the right..(G-Spot)

Enjoy the show!

Andi: Hi you sexy little furry guy! Thanks for sitting on my couch. Here is your first question. Describe yourself in one word.
Goose:Hmmm, one word is kinda difficult for me, considering that I get paid by the word...But, if I had to choose one...Complex....I am a complete anamoly...I don't pride myself on that fact, and it has made life very difficult for me, but it is true...There is no one in this world that knows everything about me...Possibly because I am always changing...I don't know.
Andi: Oh, my..I forgot..an attorney...one of the few I like of course. Maybe it is the hot southern accent. Okay, second question... If you were an ingredient in a salad what ingredient would you be and why?
Goose:Peppercorn...In small doses I am almost invisible to the pallat. Too much and I dominate an otherwise balanced meal...There is a perfect amount of seasoning, and exposure to the Goose that is tolerable..
Andi: Mental note to self ...dont ask Goose to pass the pepper. Next question.. Love or Lust?
Goose:Love...Lust is as attainable as the right look and the right circumstances...Love is difficult. Something that you can't just achieve, you have to constantly work on it.
Andi: Sexy answer...Okay, describe yourself as a tree.
Goose: Fabulous in the Spring, stoic in the Summer, and again changing my colors in fall...Winter is the dark period that follows the change...But every Spring I come back with the bright and colorful blossoms.
Andi: If you could watch your funeral, what would you want to hear about yourself in your eulogy?
Goose:He was good at whatever he tried...The law, music, and friendship...But most importantly, he was good at being a great Dad. His timing made him special.
Andi: And you are one sexy DILF..mmm..alright, Mountain climbing or Boating?
Goose:Mountain climbing. Challenge and success is measured with every step and stumble.
Andi: Favorite memory that you would like to share with Bloggerville?
Goose: Ooooooo, this is tough. I don't really share a whole lot that is down deep. But, I'll share a fun one. Power hour, Dave Matthews concert, and too few bathrooms makes for a funny walking Goose down the walkway at Riverbend Concert Series. Oh, and running through the streets of Atlanta after the Olympic Park Bombing was a bit exhilerating and will always stick in the back of my head.
Andi: Nice! Alright, you can read minds..what am I thinking?
Goose:Well, you can stop looking at my crotch for one. Um, you are wondering why I make things so damn difficult in my life.
Andi: Lol, well..sorry! I can not help it..you just look so damn hot laying on the couch! Okay, three of your best qualities?
Goose:I care....I care so much it hurts sometimes...I care about my job, I care about the kids that I am a guardian for, and I care what people think...I care until, I don't care about myself.
I can't hold a grudge...If someone apologizes to me, I will always forgive them. No matter, what they have done. That might also be a terrible weakness.
I have very few legitimate fears...I don't worry about life or death. I don't fear dangerous circumstances. Most of all, I don't fear others. Life is my great big chess match.
Andi: No, wonder I dig you! A lawyer who cares...mmm..okay, Friends with Benefits or One Night Stand?
Goose:I have a weakness for getting attached. I also don't think friends with benefits EVER ends good.
Andi: Sexiest thing about women?
Goose: A brain. If a woman can carry on a conversation about politics, music, and then switch gears to talk about football, I become like putty.
Andi: Mmmm..I bet you have turned women into putty too! Okay, any last thoughts or comments?
Goose:Life is too short to assume you know those even closest to you...We all have secrets. Not all that are bad, just some they have a hard time sharing. But those are the things that compose their makeup. Besides, that Andi, you are a great friend.
Andi: Interesting thoughts...Goose, you are a great friend too. Thank you for laying on my couch and letting me pick your sexy brain!

Well, stay tuned..next Tales from the Couch will be posted in the near future..and I promise my male readers a hottie MILF...(get ready for the lovely KJ).

Anyway, moving right along..tonight was the voting out of Diane on Big Brother..I still think Dr. Will should of gone..his ego makes me sick!

And lastly..OMG..Zayra did not even make the bottom 3? What the hell!! America, clean out your ears!!

xoxo!
andi

Tuesday Talent?

2006-08-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

Alright my little friends..it is that time again..yep, it is ROCKSTAR review~again, those of you that just come here for the smut..check the archives or go google Storm Large (pictured to the left)..she is one hottie chick rocking out on ROCKSTAR!

Before I begin my weekly review let me update you on a few little things. So, far..still loving the job! Big Brother...pissed me off..Janelle...hello! Will..and Boogie..need to go!! And last but not least..tomorrow is Tales from the Couch...Mongoose Style..Yes, I have taken the little furry guy to the couch!! And surprisingly he was quite snuggly...anyway, stay tuned...

Now on to my ROCKSTAR review and rant...

Patrice...rocking out with T-Lee to Higher Ground...um, yeah it did not do it for me. And, please just because they tell you to rock out does not okay the bad hair-do and the junkie shuffle moves! I like you sweetie..but, come on! Dave Navarro was right..you disappeared with T-Lee rocking out behind you..

Josh...bad start! What the hell, did you not practice?? And once again what the fuck are you doing up there?? You still sound like a member of N'Sync..and I seriously think he forgot some words to Santaria...I'm right, aren't I Mike? Anyway, I say you need to go find Lance Bass and maybe you both can form a new band. I know the panel gave you props, but I think they were just reminaising about smoking a J...

Dilana...You rocked Bad Company's Cant get Enough...woo hoo..the exorcism was a success! Keep rocking like that babe and I will definitely buy your CD..

Toby...Nirvana..Pennyroyal tea..one of my fav's ...just became more of a fav! You rocked that babe..and damn are you ones sexy hottie! Nice move slow dancing with the blonde in the crowd..if that would of been me my knees would of buckled and I would of came in my pants..DAMN!

8675309...send her home please!! Zayra..you still look like a strung out hooker in TJ...after seeing your moves tonight, I can guarantee you used to work the donkey show! What the hell was that? And the cape and lingerie? Dave could not keep a straight face...and they needed a commercial break to think about what the hell to tell you...they must of consulted with their lawyers..because they were way too nice..(Mike, I swear if you defend her again..I will have to commit you for being legally insane) And Sug says that you are so disgusting that you make her not even want to touch her own pussy after seeing you bump and grind around the stage....stop fucking your boot heel and go back to the Donkey Show..Mike will be there in 2 weeks in his RV...when this trailer is rocking...right Mike??

Magni..not your best...not your worst...not impressed.

Jill..you need to go home too...I can not believe you took that cool song from the Breakfast Club *Dont you forget about me...* and screamed it the whole time..I think only my dog could hear some of those notes..Don't you forget about getting the fuck on the bus out of there...

Ryan..you make me swoon and it is not because you are so damn sexy..but it helps! Your rendition of REM made me want to Lose my Religion...damn, babe..great job playing the piano and still being able to wail. I love a man that is good with his fingers! Yum fucken Yum..I think you get the I want you to fuck me on a piano award tonight! Tommy was right..you will get laid with that performance!

Wow, I am glad to see Tommy back to his rank self...someone pass the Haldol over here!

Lukas..my little FAS man..Hole...Celebrity Skin..awesome! If only you sang it and not Courntey I may of liked it. The only thing is..the sparkly eye-shadow..not a pretty thing..please get rid of it. Although, I will admit..I got a little bored during your performance..not your best..but not the worse.

Did I mention that Zayra really needs to go home?

Storm..so sexy...great job...ch..ch..changes...your voice is awesome. And yes, I now have a crush. Check out her pic above...and Mike, her eyes are not bugging anymore...

Gilby...1-800-Supercuts..really, the hair is scary! And no more showing your chest..it scares me.

Dana...The Who...um, your voice is great..the black eye make-up still does not make you look naughty enough to front SuperNova...someone please give her an eight ball and fuck her in the ass..then we can make our judgement..if not, maybe try the AI try-outs??

So now friends..I leave the soap box for my sexy friend Mike to provide his rebutal..keep him in line since I am unable to access my comments until later in the day...

xoxo!
andi

PS~Um, after this afternoon..7 does not even come close to what happened tonight! Can not wait to tell you about it!!

Sedated Sex...

2006-07-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

I took a sleeping pill last night to keep my mind from running a million miles an hour. I fell into a deep slumber quite easily. As the night went on I could feel my body become more sedated; the sleep felt good and the quiet in my mind was much needed. About one a.m. Chris got off shift and arrived home. A few minutes passed, and I could hear Chris locking the house up and coming to bed. My body felt numb and I remained in my deep slumber.

The next thing I knew I could feel Chris next to me. My eyes still shut he began to kiss my naked body. It felt so amazing; so sensual as I could feel his tounge cirlce my nipples and his hand in between my legs. He moved his mouth to mine and began to kiss me deeply as he gently fucked me with his fingers. My eyes still shut, I could feel his hard cock rub against my leg as he kissed my neck and fingered me more vigorously; nothing turns me on more than a good finger fuck. As I began to cum and moan Chris's name, he put his cock in my mouth and began to fuck my face. I could feel my pussy began to pour onto Chris's hand as I came from his fingering. He became excited and rolled me over to my tummy. I could feel his cock enter me as he started to fuck me; he pulled my hair as he slammed his cock into my pussy. With the sedentary effects of the medication and the vigor of the sex, I began to feel tingly. He flipped me onto my back and fucked me harder; my head hanging over the edge of the bed. We came together as my pussy tightened around his shaft. My body felt exhilirated as it collapsed into ecstacy. The next thing I recall is hearing Chris kiss my ear, and ask me..."Andi baby, are you still awake?"....I was....sort of!

xoxo!
andi

PS~Happy Monday friends!

Friday Tune...and Patron Blogging...

2006-07-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Hello friends...I have been told since I was drinking lots of shots of Patron this evening I am not allowed to ramble random thoughts..apparently I put my foot in my mouth or tell too many "secrets"....not that I have not done this like an ass when I am sober...just sayin!

So with that said, I am going to be a good girl, drink lots of water, take two aspirins and think about you when I have sex in the morning!

Check out this tune...I love it, and it sums up a lot of secrets I think we all have felt one time or another in our lives...

Secrets~By Maroon 5

Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road

Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don't ever let go Oh No

[Chorus:]I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can't

I'm driving fast now
Don't think I know how to go slow
Where you at now
I feel around
There you are

Cool these engines
Calm these jets
I ask you how hot can it get
And as you wipe off beads of sweat
Slowly you say "I'm not there yet!"

I know I dont know you
But I want you SO bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh no they cant

Winding it Down...or Up??

2006-07-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo...such a whirlwind! And now I am about to hit the road..five major cities all over the U.S. my new job rocks! I am finally happy with my career again...yippee! Now maybe I can get back to writing smut and posting naked pics instead of bitching about my life! Anyway, my first stop will be good old KY in August...so, KY ladies..how do I keep my hair from frizzing in the humidity?

Next item of business...I had a great time with Tales from the Couch, and I am glad you all enjoyed it as well! Thanks to my friend Speakin for being such a good sport and sharing with us all. And of course, thanks for looking so damn sexy on that couch! YUM!!

Has anyone else noticed that the weirdest people give the best compliments? This week I have been getting my soy vanilla latte' in the a.m. at the Starbucks next to my new office. Every morning there is a nice man with a pretty wicked mullet that holds the door for me and checks me out from head to toe..its kind of creepy but he always has a really sexy comment. Today he told me that I take his breath away when I walk by. Yesterday he told me I was a vision of perfection and the day before he told me I was a sexy little minx..alright, all lame but hey I will take what I can. I am starting to think that Mullet Man has game!

So, now moving on to the bald building man...when I have come off the elevator the last few mornings I have to enter a locked door with a key card. This is a pain in my ass because I am normally carrying a brief case, my purse and the latte. But, luckily the bald man that works upstairs has nicely been opening the door and with a smile tells me that I look lovely this morning. Today he actually told me I was the sweetest smelling lady he has ever opened the door for. He is a freak...but again, nice comments and if I were drunk in a bar..they may actually work.

Lastly my friends~it is fucken hot here! Even at 6800 feet in elevation! I mean this is supposed to be the damn mountains..and I am hot as hell at night and it is not because Chris has me sweaty and cumming!

Anyway, I hope you all have a nice Friday!

xoxo!
andi

PS~My 730 date flaked..you suck!! And to my friend who has put a smile on my face today..thanks so much; you make me swoon!

Tales from the Couch..Speakin Style!

2006-07-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome friends to the first session of Tales from the Couch! This session I would like to introduce the sexy and hot Speakin…check out his blog on my link list. I chose to start with Speakin because he seems so quiet and complex..but give him a 50 minute session..and WOW he really did speak his mind..and he looked damn sexy laying on the couch too!

So here we go:
Andi: So, babe~describe yourself in one word.
Speakin: One word? Oh, c'mon, do you really know how difficult that is? I guess in one word…deliberate.
Andi: Mmm..I like that!
Andi: If you could be any animal, what animal would you be? Why?
Speakin: I would be a Bald Eagle. Due to my hairline…j/k…I love that bird, have you seen how majestic they are? The power and elegance that they embody is amazing. Short story – I was flying a small plane at 3000 feet and saw an eagle gliding, as in not flapping its wings, higher than me, it was beautiful and amazing. The fact that they can see something as small as a rabbit that high up…you know what I could do with eye sight like that?!
Andi: *searches for Rorschach cards* If you could write your epitaph on your tombstone what would you say about yourself?
Speakin: A Loving Husband, Father and Grand-Father and proud Veteran.
Andi: *thinks to herself..and hottie..YUMMY* Naughty or Nice?
Speakin: Hmmmm Naughty, definitely naughty
Andi: What is your favorite holiday? Why?
Speakin: Christmas: I absolutely love the anticipation of finding the right gift, and the look of appreciation on the person's face as they open their gift. Now with a child in the house, the build up to Christmas is great and then when she wakes up and sees the presents….it is just…*putting the fingers on my right hand together, kissing them and pulling them away* (If you are Italian, you know what I am doing) beautiful.
Andi: Italia Pride Baby! Woo hoo..okay seriously..If you decided to come to me for therapy what goal would you want to accomplish?
Speakin: I have a huge feeling of inadequacy. I never thought I was good looking, and still think I am just 'ehh'. I was always the last kid picked for sports. I always had a tough time finding a girlfriend. I joined the military for numerous reasons the top two were; I believe I owed it to my Country. I had to prove to myself that I could do it….Once you solve that, I would open up to you and we could talk about the real issues…LoL
Andi: *reaches for my magic wand*…please, babe you have NOTHING to feel inadequate about! (ladies check out that pic!) ALRIGHT..next question.. Guilt or Regret?
Speakin: These both imply that something that was done was wrong in my mind…
Andi: A fantasy you wish to fulfill in the next ten years?
Speakin: Do you really need to ask a man what his fantasy is?
Andi: Now I feel like I am on the couch..next question …If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Speakin: This is something everyone always thinks about and is probably the toughest question you have asked so far. I think after we all make our wishes, we expect our lives and the lives of those affected by the wishes to remain unchanged. I think we all seem to overlook the fact that if we change 'A' that inevitably 'B' and 'C' in our lives and in the lives of everyone around us, will change either for good or bad…but unforeseen by us, kind of like how history/future events were changed in 'Back to the Future'. With that being said, I would ask for my children to live a happy, healthy, educated life without any financial or emotional burden. (But would no emotional burden mean that there would be no love in their life? Would it mean they wouldn't know what it is to finally find the right person? Would no financial burden mean they would never own anything?) See the dilemma? You can have my wishes. LoL
Andi: If you could be a color, what color would you be and why?
Speakin: Green, but not just plain green, a nice deep, rich green: forest green. I find it relaxing. I guess it is because I spent so much time in the woods playing Army! LoL
Andi: Green is my favorite color..now I have another reason for it to be my fav color! Um, Best sexual experience?
Speakin: And I thought the question about the wish was difficult. To label any one experience the best is tough. I could never label any one experience the best. I have had a 'best sexual experience' with each partner.
Andi: Nice! One thing you could not live without?
Speakin: Females…regardless of what they say, do, and nag me about, I need 'em…lots of 'em!
Andi: LMAO..If we were on a deserted island together what would you do to entertain me!
Speakin: It depends. How long have we already been on the island, how did we get there and what items washed up with us? There are many ways to entertain, many, many ways. But such a question requires some more details…
Andi: Now, I understand where the deliberate comes from..sheesh..What is the most important thing you can give to your partner?
Speakin:I would give her anything that is required for her to feel complete. This 'thing', I am sure, changes on a daily basis, maybe even hourly, as we are talking about a woman. LoL I would like to think that I can adapt myself to her, to be able to provide her with whatever it is that is the most important to her right at that moment. If I am not able to figure it, as most men are not, I am man enough to ask.
Andi: Wow, Marry ME! LOL..thanks babe for sitting on the couch and being my first victim! I enjoyed learning more about you!

Hope you all enjoyed the Tales from the Couch with Speakin..boy was he. Also, enjoy his hottie pic he submitted..this is my fav..so, who is my next victim..I mean volunteer?

As for ROCKSTAR..yeah, Phil went home..which is good! But please America..next week make it Zayra..she SUCKS

xoxo!
andi

PS~Dont forget..7:30 tomorrow night~!

Something New..ROCKSTAR Review...

2006-07-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, I know some of you are just here for the smut! Hey, I respect that...so, go look in my archives cause tonight..is the ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review! Now, I have been doing this at Sug's place but because some of the patrons had to get naked and mess the place up the health inspector closed it down. So until then..let me get on my soap box here for a bit.

First off, there are some people that just need to GO HOME! And I am not talking about Dr. Will on Big Brother either!

Alright Zayra..I just can not stand her! Even if she gets better I still hear her murdering that Stones song from 2 weeks ago. And, please stop wearing the cat suits..you are not sexy in them..you look like a disco loser or a crackwhore on Revolution Circle in Tijuana..hell, I bet she used to do the donkey show! Mike, did she??

Dana...please send her home! Black eye make-up and Doc Martens do not make you look like a rockstar! In my opinion..she needs to be on the CMT channel trying out for country star singing. I mean you look like a Gretchen Wilson wanna be who has had a bad meth runner! Fuck! And why murder one of my fav Nirvana songs?

Word of advice..if you can not pull it off..pick someone else...NOT Nirvana!!

Jill, Gilby said it right...(he must of been sober)Your rubbing your ass on him was nasty! If you plan on being a stripper fine..but dont use it to get an extra vote from Tommy..come on! BTW, that outfit..really was nasty. Did you buy it at a yard-sale in front of a brothel...just sayin!

Phil...Bobble head..you blow and you need to eat!

Josh, I know the women swoon for you..but I felt like I was watching Nick Lachey sing a Blind Melon song! And did anyone else notice he bobbles his head too? Sort of reminds me of the Maroon5 lead singer....but not as sexy!

Alright, did anyone feel the world stop rotating? Tommy actually did not say anything that could be construed as sexual harrassment this week? Is he back on the Haldol injections? He was too calm..I am worried!

The true rockers were obvious tonight..alright, you all have been pissed cause I have been hacking Dilana but I have to FINALLY say..I think there was an exorcism..she brought it with Cindi's Time after Time...ENCORE.

Lukas, Patrice, Magni and Storm..ROCK ON. BTW, if you have not googled Storm Large I suggest you do so..I would definitely do her if I was not commited to my hottie blogger girl, Pandora.

And the Eye candy,Fuck me please, Serenade me while I blow you Award goes to.......
two hotties tonight! Ryan...oh yeah! I fucken loved you. I Alone...will masturbate to you in the shower tonight!
Oh, and Toby...Marry Me babe! Holy fuck..he is hot, and he can wail! Finally I think my heart is healing after the Chris Daughtery upset from AI. Damn, ladies he can fill out those Levis too! I included his pic for your drooling pleasure!

Alright, now that my ears are bleeding and my panties are moist I must go take care of business *wink* Please discuss among yourselves. Stay tuned for a special HNT and the first installment of Tales from the Couch!

xoxo!
andi

PS~Happy B~Day Chiefy!
Oh, and please go check out this blog...very sexy and I think this blogger friend has some potential..yum!
http://www.acockstravels.blogspot.com
And, finally...for my special date tomorrow...dont forget 7:30!

Holy Fuck Me..

2006-07-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

Briefly...I started my new job today~! It rocks..I am happy, and I am planning on christening my office with some hot sex as soon as I can!! Woo hoo! I have a view of the city and can not wait to be bent over the window sill....hmmmm! Um, did I also tell you I get to do some great system change work and will have fortune and fame? Yep...thanks again to all of you for your support during my grueling misery of an interview process!

So, anyway...with that said...my sexy and hot friend Ed from Edtime Stories asked me to do this little tag...so I am obliging..so enjoy damn it!
Also, I am working on my first Tales from the Couch
I hope to have it up soon, so stay tuned!!!

Let the tag begin...

Have you ever.....
Gotten stuck in an elevator?- No
Egged a person?-Yep.
Stalked someone to find out where they work or live?-Yep..sorta..
Spent an entire day in nothing but your underwear?- As often as possible!
Read some friends mail or other personal papers without them knowing?-Yep.
Gone skinny dipping?- Yep!~
Been in a fist or cat fight? Yep! Dumb bitches!

Lasts....
Time you tripped?- About three times today..damn high heels!
Time you cleaned up the base of your toilet?- Yesterday when I cleaned the bathroom.
Gum you had?- Orbit, peppermint..chewing as we speak!
Pair of socks?- Liz Claiborne athletic socks as we speak.
Beverage you had?- Lemon Snapple as we are speaking!
Spur of the moment decision you made?-Lunch with the ex-intern..such a little cutie!
Movie you watched?- Start to finish…Wedding Crashers.
What would you.....Say if your best friend told you they love you ? (male or female) I love you too! or Ti Amo!
Right now.....What are you wearing?- Orange and white striped nighty from the Gap..very cute!
What are you thinking?- I need to take my medicine..and I want pizza!
What are you listening to?- The t.v.
What would you like to be listening to? A hot man..cumming and moaning in my ear!
Are you annoyed by the length of this survey?-I chose to do it so, no.
Are you tired?- Yes...but I need to unwind! Maybe I need to masturbate?
How many people in the room?- me and Chris
Any cuts or bruises on your body?- Yes, cut my leg shaving! Anyone want to inspect elsewhere?
Are there any animals in the room?- My dog!
Are you eating anything?-No, but I want pizza!
People who I would like to do this? Anyone that volunteers!

xoxo!
andi

PS~Tomorrow will be the ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review..here at Andi headquarters!

From Across the Room....

2006-07-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

You grin at me with that devilish smile as you take my hand and nod at me to follow you. I eagerly agree as I know you always take me to the sweetest surprises. You ask me to sit in a chair and you sit in the chair across the room. You smile and begin to undo your belt. The sound of your zipper gets me excited. You tug at your pants and boxer shorts and bring out your stiff cock. I salivate as I look at you; knowing that I want to put you in my mouth. You smile and begin to stroke your shaft. I can feel my pussy begin to moisten as I eagerly watch you stroke up and down and knead your balls. You look deep in my eyes as I can tell that you feel so much pleasure from your own touch. My mouth becomes increasingly moist and I want to put your hard cock in between my lips. You are such a fucken tease. You knew that an orally fixated girl such as myself would get turned on while watching you stroke your cock. Damn, I want you but I play your game and gaze in your eyes and watch.

Your breath becomes heavier and you groan. My pussy is so wet and my body begs for your attention. I slowly pull my panties down from under my skirt and spread my legs. You can see how fucken wet you have made me and you smile. You know that I can be yours at any moment but you prefer to make me watch you get off. I like how you tease me. Your excitement gets me hot and I crave you.

You stroke your cock harder now as I rub my clit between my fingers. Our breath becomes heavier; we both begin to moan louder. I look at you and ask you to wait for me. My fingers are rubbing my clit as my other hand wanders and I begin to rub my left tit.

Now I am the tease.

You find it nearly impossible to hold back. You tremble as you watch me lose myself in pure ecstasy. I look into your eyes again and whisper “now” …it is time.

We both moan louder and begin to cum simultaneously. Oh fuck it feels so damn good!

I lick my fingers as I gaze at you in my state of bliss. Mmmm...I love watching you from across the room.

Now, please come fuck me~!

Xoxo~
andi

Tales from the Couch...Andi Style...

2006-07-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I had an overwhelming response from you all and quite a few volunteers for the Tales from the Couch series I am about to embark on. So, I decided to enlist the help from one of my fellow bloggers and therapeutically trained friends to put me on the couch and see how this works...it was quite fascinating actually! I can not wait to begin picking the minds of the few of you who were nice enough to volunteer...so, here we go..enjoy the ride!~

FB~I will be known as fellow blogger since I try hard to keep my anonymity.
Andi~That works for me. Fire away!
FB~Describe your childhood in three words.
Andi~OMG, you got to be fucking kidding me! FB, I thought we weren't going there! Oh well, three words....tragic, loving, and humbling.
FB~LMAO..nice! Alright, tell me about the last time you were disappointed.
Andi~FB, you know...I could slap you! Okay, last disappointment...I brought on myself. I told someone something and they closed the door in my face. It was hurtful and I knew it would happen. I never learn.
FB~Wanna elaborate?
Andi~No. No, thanks.
FB~Why did you name your blog Secrets of a Sexblogger?
Andi~Because I think we all have secrets. I know I have mine. I thought it was appropriate. It made me think that those who read me may be interested in finding out what secrets I have..not everyone has figured them out yet...hell, I haven't myself.
FB~What is your favorite thing about blogging?
Andi~I like sharing my thoughts and feelings. I can do it anonymously. I have made friends here who have given me some good advice. I feel supported and there are little expectations.
FB~What has been your most tragic moment in the blogosphere?
Andi~Finding out that Larry the Farmboy passed away. He had a special place in my heart, and I am sad and miss him.
FB~Has blogging improved your sex life?
Andi~To a point. It has made me aware of things I probably would not of looked at before.
FB~Pleasure or Pain?
Andi~Ah, FB...pleasure is pain babe!
FB~LMAO, you are fucken funny Andi. Alright, so is it true that bloggers hook up?
Andi~I suppose it is. So far...Andi~1 and Infidelity~0!
FB~How do you want to be remembered?
Andi~As some one who really gave a fuck about what happened around them. I do not want to ever be someone who did not pay attention and who did not become outraged by injustice. I want to make this world a better place.
FB~Profound! That must be the USC alumni coming out in you.
Andi~Fuck off..keep going!
FB~Tell us a secret!
Andi~Okay, I am battling a very serious illness right now that only few in the blogosphere know about..and I am kicking its ass! Um, I also have tons of stretch marks!
FB~LMAO...damn! Too much info!
Andi~Hey, that was a shout out for Kj! (the stretch mark part ;)
FB~Proudest moment in the last few months?
Andi~Getting the new job, and being asked to consult on the sniper case!
FB~Last words?
Andi~Absolutely...I love last words! FB, you really sucked at this...and my couch sessions will be much better! Stay tuned friends!

xoxo!
andi

PS~I almost forgot...Happy B~Day Sug~Mama!
And, woo hoo..that cracked out wanna be Jewel chick on ROCKSTAR (jenny) is buh-bye! Now if they can only get rid of that little lame latin chick Zayra..my ears are still pouring blood from her performance two weeks ago! And someone please get her a wardrobe consultant that tin foil dress she had on was horrid!

100K and I am back...

2006-07-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends..I am back! Sorry that my hiatus took a little longer than I originally thought it would. Thanks for your sweet emails checking on my well being...but I managed to survive the parental invasion. Now, I am getting ready for the second wave...the other set is on their way as we speak! Ugh...

In other news, I am happy to announce that Secrets of a Sexblogger since its birth in November has had over 100,000 hits! I am feeling the love. What I am not feeling however is where the hell this blog is going! I mean I have had to change it up a bit because of the work trauma and my own demise..but, hopefully you all still find it interesting. I have decided however that I would like to do a new post once a week or so called....Tales from the Couch....yes, this will be a fun way for you to learn more about those in the blogosphere...I am hoping to interview fellow bloggers and post those interviews here on my site. Now, I know this has been done before..but, I am hoping my therapeutic questioning will bring in some new insights...what do you think? And, do I have any volunteers to lay on the couch and let me therapize you?? Let me know!

Hmmm....as for some random thoughts....it is hot! Freakin hot as hell! I have been in the midst of battling a little ailment with my health so I can not even go jump in the lake...which sucks! I start my new coveted job on Monday..yippeee! Now I am just freakin out cause I have nothing to wear it seems....I need to go shoe shopping! I also am planned to travel to five major cities in the next month and not sure what the heck I will be taking there too....yuck! Especially since I have heard there is a little thing called humidity in the south and east..I do not do those things well!

My kid turned two officially....wow, time flies. We partied our asses off to an Elmo theme! She had a groovy time and has learned to tell me "no" in two languages now....gotta love preschool!

Anyway, here is a little skin to tide you over while I may be gone again for a couple of days due to the second wave of parental invasion.....

xoxo!
andi

PS~Glad to see that G is back...missed you!
And tomorrow is Ms. Sug's B~Day...spank babe!!
The ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review will be here from now on since the Sugar Shack has been temporarily closed by the health inspectors...damn it..I told GE to pick up her undies! And Mike can not sit around naked all day long!

Busy..but

2006-07-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends...I've been busy! My parents are coming to town...yep, all of them! My kid is turning two and I am preparing for the new job while setting up a tiny bit of a private practice..yes, I am caving with the private practice thing, but I need to roll in some cash one way or another and I am too damn clutsy to strip!

Anyway, I will be back for HNT tomorrow and then on a small hiatus as my parents are visiting. In the meantime, please come by and see my review about the pop culture reality show...ROCKSTAR:SuperNova at: http://sugarshacksback.blogspot.com/
Or hell, just stop by and say Hi!!

Ciao~!
andi

Kitchen Counter..

2006-07-07T02:16:00.000-07:00

You walk in after a long day and see me. I am standing in the kitchen shuffling through the mail. So many bills, and nothing worth interest. I stretch as I watch you walk across the room; that determined look in your eye. You begin to pull at your tie. I can see the day has worn on you as well by the look on your face. I grin as you near me and kiss my neck. You pull me close and begin to chew on the buttons on my blouse; such unusual behavior for you but I like it. Your hands slide up my skirt and you put your fingers into my panties. You are determined; I feel your fingers enter my wet pussy and it feels so fucken good. You nibble on my neck and grab my hair. I gasp as you bend me over the counter and begin to take my panties off now. I like how you have become so aggressive and have such a desire for me. We say nothing to one another but I know you want me by the way you paw at my body. I hear your pants unzip and you grab my hips and enter me. I wrap my legs around your waist. I grab onto the counter; holding on tightly as you fuck me. I moan and gasp as I orgasm. My pussy explodes and I drip all over your cock and down my thighs. I hear your breath become heavy as your cock quivers within me. I know you will soon explode your sweet semen into me.

Welcome home baby...
andi

Shaking my ass HNT!

2006-07-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hell YES!! Fame, Fortune...and they did not hire a lawyer...they hired me!

Happy HNT~
andi

What? I was too late?

2006-07-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Update:

I got a call.
He left a message.
He told me to call him tonight by 6 p.m.
I got home at 6:40 p.m.
He left no details.
Now I have to wait till tomorrow a.m.
Maybe I got the job?
He is only the HR guy.
Maybe it is not a bad sign?
I am practicing my happy dance~just in case!!

Hugs!
andi

EDIT: For my ROCKSTAR:SuperNova review..please check out Sug's place...the link is to the right! Oh, and no I did not forget HNT...I will post tomorrow..maybe doing a happy naked dance with Pandora...;)

Tunes that taught me...

2006-07-03T15:10:00.000-07:00

So, Happy 4th friends!! I hope all is well for everyone. The beautiful and talented Kj tagged my ass today to complete a list of tunes that have taught me something in life. Hmmm...what a cool concept! Anyway, here is my list...enjoy! Oh, and ladies behave yourselves...just because you play with illegal fireworks does not mean that hottie firemen will come to your house to tell you to stop. You will only get the yucky, lazy ones with no life because all the hottie ones are at the lake boating....just sayin!

Alright....here it goes..

1) Depeche Mode taught me that People are People....
2) Alanis taught me that I am not the only girl who will go down on you in a theatre....
3) 3 Doors Down taught me that I am here without you...
4) Maroon 5 taught me that I cant wait to get under your skin...
5) Prince taught me that I will Cream if I get on top....
6) Hoobastank taught me that the Reason is you...
7) Nirvana taught me that today I found my friends in my head.....
8) Pearl Jam taught me that Once upon a time.....
9) The Cure taught me that whenever I'm alone with you...
10) The Red Hot Chili Peppers taught me that your mouth was made to Suck my Kiss...
11) Madonna taught me to Vogue....
12) Cindi Lauper taught me that Girls just wanna have fun...
13) James Blunt taught me You're beautiful....
14) Eminem taught me that you have to lose yourself in the moment....
15) Anna Nalick taught me to Breathe.....
16) Violent Femmes taught me to let me go on like a blister in the sun....
17) Tonic taught me to Come rest your Head....
18) Morris Day taught me that this dance is only for the sexy people......
19) The Beatles taught me to Let it Be....
20) Gretchen Wilson taught me that I'm a redneck woman....(Yeah, right! She was talking to the wrong chick!!)
21) The Wiggles taught me to dance like an Emu...
22) Men at Work taught me to smile and eat a vegimite sandwich...
23) Jimmy Buffet taught me to ask Why don't we get drunk and screw?
24) Sheryl Crowe taught me that everyday is a winding road......
25) U2 taught me that With or without you.....

xoxo!
andi

PS~And thanks to all of the troops out there who stop by to say hello! My thoughts are with you while you are so far from home....please come home safe!!

Long Weekend...

2006-06-30T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...still no plans..so I guess I will just have to see what comes up!

Happy 4th Friends...

xoxo~
andi

Tag my ass...

2006-06-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

Well, my ass was tagged! No, not like that (JD)! I mean I was asked to name 5 celebrities I would love to have sex with..so after careful debate..and I mean I can only name 5...so, here they are!

1) Matthew McConaghey~He is hot and reminds me of my favorite southern lawyer! YUM!!
2) Ben Affleck~He reminds me of the first guy who went down on me...and his name was Ben too!
3) Mark Wahlberg~Fuck me..hot body! Cute smile and dimples and I can forget the whole Marky Mark thing! Oh, and lets not forget those hot Calvin Klein ads!
4) Patrick Dempsey~ He is hot as hell! He has those sexy puppy dog eyes and he makes me want to cum every Sunday! Oh, my ex-little intern looks just like him too....so irresistable!
5) Johnny Depp~I have loved him since the 21 Jump Street days...such a sweet looking man..sexy as fuck and damn he makes a hot pirate!

Alright, so there it is...hard to pick 5~! Of course, I will not even start with how much I love Chris Daughtery! We all already know that!

Quick update..I am in the final running. They are calling my refrences and doing the background check!

xoxo~
andi

Waiting Game...

2006-06-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

I was in control
Sleek in my new black suit
I smelled good~like gardenia
Make-up perfect; pouty lips
Perfect amount of cleavage; tassled hair but still professional
Sexy legs
Smart shoes

I controlled the room
Two and a half hours
A panel of 8 people; mostly lawyers
I educated them
I wowed them
They ate me up

Now it is the waiting game...
It could be up to two weeks
before I hear either way
I wait patiently; a pit in my stomach
I jump when the phone rings
My life could change forever
They better not choose a lawyer!
I was in control

xoxo~
andi

Tribute to the DILFs....

2006-06-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know..less than 24 hours...are you all just sick of hearing about my job interview?? I know my sex blogging has been really lame lately..sorry! Sometimes though, I get in a rut and I just need this space to vent or express myself in a non-sexual way. So, for those of you that come here to read sexy Andi...and her crazy sex adventures..hang tight...I will be back. Until then, I am crazy Andi who has the interview of her lifetime and is going through a very crazy time in life...my mental illness seems to be getting the best of me.

So, with that said..wish me luck..and D, thanks for the comment..because now I can not get the theme to Rocky out of my head....yep, it is permanently stuck and lets just hope I do not start humming it in the middle of the interview tomorrow~I love it!!

As I discussed yesterday...I NEEDED to veg. I went to the beach at the lake today and I just lay there. The sun was beating on my body, and I could hear the water crash on the shore...it was awesome. I read every journal and article I could possibly read to bone up for my interview. I enjoyed the sun and then I noticed....I was surrounded by tons of sexy DILFs....hmmmm...was it my lucky day or what? They were there with their little kids...no mom's anywhere. Had I come on single dad day? Of course, I had to put away the reading and prop up my lounge chair.

So, I started to wonder....how many of these guys came here today looking for MILFs; and there are none...nope, like maybe 4 women over 20 on the whole beach. What an opportunity this could be for someone....?

Anyway, as I gazed at my eye candy....I noticed one guy in a t-shirt that read.."I lost my phone number...can I have yours?" He also looked like the guy on Napoleon Dynamite...hmmm...I guess it takes all kinds....

Alright, enough of this randomness.....anyway, I must be tired. I know this had a point. Hmmm..maybe my point was to thank all the DILFs in my life who brighten my day!

xoxo~!

andi

PS~This is a shout out to my favorite DILF...you know who you are!

Scrambled Sunday...

2006-06-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

Got the perfect suit? Yep
Got the panty hose..and back up pair...just in case? Yep
Got the perfect shoes? Yep
Worked out today to burn off stress? Yep
Ready to look them in the eye and sell yourself? Yep
Good cleavage bra just in case you have to open a button? Yep

Alright, then...I am ready...Monday 12 p.m. 6/27~!

Um, yeah..except Monday is NOT 6/27!! In all my anticipation and all my anxiety...the interview is not until TUESDAY at 12 pm!!

So, this sucks..in a way. I mean here I have been knotted in the stomach for two weeks with anticipation..and now I have to wait an extra day..wtf? Anyway, so I think I am going to lay on the shore of the lake tomorrow....veg my mind and soul and keep my fingers crossed that they do not want someone who is bilingual!~Damn, why did I not keep up on my spanish??

Adios Friends~!
andi

PS~Thanks for the good vibes..maybe vibes on the day before is a good sign? Oh and by the way...here are my new perfect suit shoes! They are black leather..Nine West...low heel, slip on..Perfect!

EDIT:

BTW, I wanna give a shout out to my friend, confidant and MY sexual advisor..Mike....glad your home babe, and hang in there! We love you, and care about you! And remember what I said...if you need me to be there...just let me know!

Freaky Friday..

2006-06-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks guys for your kind words yesterday. I am sorry that I again bored you with the details of my depressive mood. Sometimes though it is therapeutic to get this crap off my chest and send it out to the blogosphere.

So, the count down has begun(for the 2nd big interview)..I finally found the perfect new suit...now, I am in search of the perfect new shoes and I will have it made! DSW here I come!! My credit card is already beginning to smoke and I can just visualize the vein in Chris's forehead sticking out from the bill... :)

Monday..it seems so far off, but not far enough. I know I will be grilled, and I need to be on top of my game. I need to be smart with my responses and not intimidated by the scholars who will be looking at and analyzing my every move and word...the pressure is building. I am nervous.

I am praying that my nerves do not make my face break out, and that I do not feel so nervous that I want to puke the whole time. I am also keeping my fingers crossed that the universe is working my way and I can make it on time. I am visualizing a good hair day...there is only one problem.....the eye brows.....they are not growing quick enough...yes, I know it has only been one day. But, I look like a jack ass. My friends have said they do not look that bad, but they are being nice.

So imagine, that I am in session today with a new client. I am sitting across from her, and she is telling me about her decisions she has made about her marriage. I am intrigued by her insight, and I am concentrating on her every word. She leans over to grab a tissue...there is a moment of silence...and then she says..."Andi, do you not agree with my decision?" I was shocked by her question because...I actually was agreeing with her whole heartedly. I reply to her and say that I think she has a well thought out plan, and then ask her why she does not believe that I agree with her...she replies..."because you raised your eyebrow at me".....FUCK!! Bad wax job! I will be wearing bangs on the right side on Monday!

xoxo!
andi

Wilted...

2006-06-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

I feel wilted my friends. I feel sick, and its hot. I am tired, and I can not sleep. I wasn't going to post but I thought "fuck it." Sometimes I just need to write to make sense of the scrambled eggs between my ears.

It's Summer...officially. I hate summer...always have. I am not sure why, but this is the time of year I find the most depressing. Some of it is because my work becomes so overwhelming, and some it can be because I cant sit on the beach all day and drink. Of course, I also hate the fact that I have to wear clothes that show off the parts of my body I hate..the fat legs, the belly bulge...the bikini blues..yep, it's fucken summer.

My job...I was talking to Erika tonight..she is so wonderful. She told me that maybe I am burned out. She is right. I love helping people, but it is getting harder to do. All the stories and sadness sort of blend together. They all sound the same after a while. It carries over into my personal life; like for instance my daughter's day care teacher is a bitch. She is mad because I had to make a complaint against her..normally, I dont care..fuck her. Tonight she gave me the cold shoulder and looked down her nose at me...I left in tears..yeah, stupid I know..but a big sign of burn-out!!

Monday..Is the big second interview. I am not ready. I went to have my hair trimmed and my eye brows waxed. Hair looks great...eyebrows suck! Fuck, how hard is it to follow the arch! Nothing is worse than having a bad set of brows! It pisses me off really. Chris suggested I use a pencil to shape them....he is really cute..but totally clueless! Anyway, back to the interview...none of my suits are right. They are hot, and I do not have the right shoes. I went shopping today, I could not find anything. I hate that. The bitch at the Ann Taylor Loft was less than helpful....she needs to get laid! So, off to Macy's tomorrow. I hate suiting up during the summer...totally uncomfortable! Please start wishing my luck though...I need it! This is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities..I need this! So, Monday 6/27...12 pm pst....good vibes!! Oh, and if there is another sniper incident or some fucked up thing making me late...I am going to be pissed!

July 4th...no plans yet. Not sure what to do...lots of offers..no decisions.

Parents....second week in July...fuck! They told me tonight they are already packed...they are high maintenance and need to be entertained....the ENTIRE time!! Seriously, I am not in the mood!!

Vegas..I wanted to go...had the reservations...now I can't...the interview falls in the middle of the trip! Fuck, I hate when a good trip is screwed up.

My neighbor...he is now sitting in the dark on his deck so he can look in my dining room window. He thinks I do not see him...I do. He likes watching me walk around naked...whatever..cheap thrills!

T-Bone...My dear friend Taylor...he told me today that I rock his world; he can tell I am down. He and I talked forever it seemed about how people pretend to care and then they close you out...its disappointing and it hurts. Why even open the door to begin with? And then the fucked up part is when the door is closed...you move on...and VACUUM....you are being sucked back in! I hate game players...grow up please!

I feel wilted.

xoxxo!
andi

Hot..HOT..HNT!!!

2006-06-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hot weather...
New Shoes....
Pedicures....
Beach days...
Boating and water skiing....

Bring IT!

xoxo and HHNT!
andi

You have the right to remain silent...

2006-06-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

I was asleep, when I heard the door open late last night. The dog jumped off my feet and I heard Chris talking to him. I rolled over and pulled the blanket up over my chest. I fell back asleep. I woke to feeling Chris sitting next to me on the bed with his hand under the covers and moving gently up my leg. I woke and smiled. He leaned down; not saying a word and kissed me. He grabbed for the handcuffs on his belt, and took my arms and put them above my head..handcuffing me to the rail on the headboard; with a sly grin, he told me "You have the right to remain silent." He pulled the covers down; exposing my naked body. He smiled again; a naughty smirk as he began to kiss me all over. He put his fingers in my wet pussy and began to fuck me slowly.

I am not sure if it was the feel of his fingers in my pussy or the cold metal on my wrists, but I began to cum...so hard...I moaned in ecstacy and my body became rigid and trembled. After several more consecutive orgasms, he finally uncuffed me from the rail.

I crawled on top of him...one wrist still in cuffs. I rode his hard cock; sliding up and down his rigid shaft....mmmmm....it felt so good! Before long, I came hard; hard enough to drench Chris and feel it run down my thighs.

He moaned my name under his breath as I watched him dig his hands into my hips. He began thrusting harder; he was hungry for my pussy. I looked down at him and he groaned as he came; I could feel his hard cock quiver within my pussy as he shot his load....

it was the perfect start to Father's Day.....

xoxo~
andi

Toxic...

2006-06-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

You run through my veins
like poison
Engulfing every part of me
I feel fatigued
and weak
My body is hot
and aches
You make me feel
toxic...

Happy Weekend!
andi

Fade...

2006-06-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

You come to me with that look in your eyes. I am tired, and I am stressed. You smile; that crooked grin. You know the one. I stretch....and smile back. You know how to get under my skin!

You begin to kiss me lightly on my neck; you make that slight groan. I begin to forget about my stress and fatigue. You move your hand to my stomach and make your way up my t-shirt. I gaze at you. You kiss my lips gently.

I smile as you lift my t-shirt up and pull it above my head; throwing it to the floor. To your surprise, I am not wearing my bra. You grin and I see the dimples on your face; you make me feel sexy. You take my breasts in your hands, and run your tounge over my nipples. I begin to shiver with excitement. I run my fingers through your hair.

Your smell entices me...I lay back and let you take me. My body fades into yours and we become one.

Happy HNT Babe!
andi

WTF Monday..

2006-06-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to come up with some sexy ass story to write you all today since I have been slacking in that area, but instead I decided I just do not have the energy today!

Anyway, so as many of you know..I had the interview of my lifetime today!! Of course a funny thing happens on the way there. I am running a little late because I am having a bad hair day. So, I speed through the traffic as quickly as possible and all of the sudden, there are police and ambulances..and fire trucks...and crowds...and SWAT team people...hmmm...obviously I need a new route here. So, twist and turn around all this crap....assuming that this is an isolated area...and maybe, just maybe one of my clients jumped off a building or something. Or, hell maybe Dick Cheney is in town again! So, anyway...here I go...driving as fast as I can and still I can not head south..damn it! There are cops everywhere..now I am getting pissed. My phone beeps, and my friend text me that I must call. This was odd. Hmmm...so I dial...they answer and ask me,"Andi are you okay. Where are you?" I almost cry as I tell them I am late for my interview...THE INTERVIEW!~They tell me that it is probably because there was a sniper attack and they have the streets closed off...."huh? what?"No fucken wonder~ I think!

Finally, I get to my destination...of course the parking garage is closed...sealed off~wtf now! So, I speed into a parking lot...that had tow-away signs everywhere. I haul ass in my suit and high heels for six blocks...get in the building....elevator shut down! FUCK...that sucks! So, I run up three flights of stairs....finally go to walk in the door...it is locked! FUCK AGAIN...I rattle the knob, and the secretary opens the door...sorry, we are locked down due to the sniper attack. Um, yeah...well fuck the sniper...I need my interview! So, I get to get into the interview...nervously...an hour and ten minutes! I leave...not very sure...I have to wait a week possibly to get an answer...so, I go drink some Tuaca..YUM!

I decide to go home later...after hanging out with my family. I come home, and there it is...blinking.....the message machine. I play it....and there it is....please come for a second interview!!! HELL FUCKEN YES!! So, 2 weeks..6/27...the FINAL INTERVIEW....Keep sending that energy friends...because it worked!! Thanks to you all for the good thoughts and prayers! You are all so awesome!!

Alright, so now...I am off to have celebratory sex....and I promise to tell you all about it soon!

xoxo!
andi

PS~Um, if you once had sex with a 20 year old virgin...and then like 5 years later you find out he is going to be a priest....will you go to hell??

Mental Candy....

2006-06-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I stumble across a blog or two that I can not believe that no one knows about...I get extremely hot and bothered when I am stimulated by a good erotic story! As a matter of fact, I actually took a whack at writing one recently which one of my extremely sexy blogger friends insisted on publishing....go check it out at

http://myinnerhell.blogsome.com

You will not be disappointed..this is a HOT site! Very sexy, and I know some of the stories have given me some moments of pleasure!

Another new site that I just discovered which seems to already be a hot-spot is

http://hotcal.blogsome.com

OMG, even though this is a new site...I am already seeing LOTS of potential here!

And of course, the site we all know that I love and would love for you to love is

http://www.edtimestories.blogspot.com

I love this site...and not just because I have been the subject of some of the stories but because Ed really can paint a nice picture of seduction!

So there you go...Sunday Mental Candy...Enjoy!

xoxo~
andi

PS~And please dont let her hide! Yep, Sugar is back...go check out her place and have a drink in the cyber bar....

http://nowayibeleiveyounow.blogspot.com

EDIT:

I totally forgot! Tomorrow at 12 p.m. PST, I have the interview for the job of my career! Although I am seriously honored to be interviewed and not 100 percent that I will get the job, I am still keeping my fingers crossed, and wearing my lowest cut top! LOL

So, if you could all send me your positive energy through the blogosphere...I would appreciate it!

Hugs!
andi

Drunk Dial Friday....

2006-06-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing is better than a drunk dial...don't you all agree? I mean think about it...can you take total responsibility for your actions?? Can you pretend to not understand what is happening...and blame it all on the alcohol? Absolutely!

So picture this....I go out today with friends and drink margaritas. Of course, this is after I am sure that our sweet fellow bloggers, GreenEyes and Ericka have hit the road to Atlanta. After a few margaritas I am driving up the road, and I get a panicked call from Sugar....she is concerned because GreenEyes is in Atlanta by herself. Now understand, GE had only been there 2 hours when Sugar got a call saying that two nice southern gentlemen were knocking on her motel room door...Hmmm???

Anyway, Sugar is concerned, she drunk dials me and asks me to drunk dial GE to check on her. I call, and she is fine...but announces to me that she is waiting on Ericka and poor Speakin is stuck in the airport in the northeast due to weather or some shit. We laugh, and chat. She promises to take the special picture I requested and all is well. I remind her that she better be safe or else I was instructed to sick Mike on her!

I settle in, and I get another drunk caller....Sugar again. She is still concerned because GE has not met up with Ericka yet and they have no lap top. I am in a bit of a drunken haze...I know we laughed, and then we hang up (I still have no idea what the hell we talked about).

So time passes...the phone rings...and now I have a three~way coming from Atlanta telling me that we actually are four~waying.....it is me, Sugar, GE and Ericka.

Sugar and I are completely wasted....and GE, and Ericka are in their motel room...safe (and I think drinking.....). Poor Speakin is probably on some bench in an airport somewhere..at least we are hoping. Of course I can not hear a thing because of all the laughter and cross talk, but this seems to be fun. After a few minutes it hits me....this has been a crazy drunk dial night! Here we are...all of us girls in our pjs...it is like a giant blogger pajama party on conference call! So our conversation kind of goes like this.....(keep in mind I actually took notes here too)...

Me: So, wow we are three-waying....
Sug: Where the hell is Mike?
Me: Oh yeah, we could four~way.....oh, maybe you can not do that?
Ericka: Oh, I can four~way......(note: who would of ever thought??)

arguing with Sugar.....for awhile.....and then.....

Ericka: Andi, I learn a lot of stuff from your blog, I would of never thought of a blow-job from a bath tub.
Me: Ericka, I have had sex on the haunted house ride at Disneyland...there is much more I can teach you......
the girls sing...Its a Small World.....

Sugar and I argue some more..... (and I am not sure about what...the girls are laughing at us)

Sugar: Hey y'all, Andi hates Texas...I dont know why!
Andi: Because there is a story about a dude from the Houston airport that I will blog about one day.
Sugar: What the fuck does that have to do with anything??
Andi: GE, Ericka...what are you laughing about in the background?
GE: We are taking a sex quiz in Cosmo....

I hurry to find my copy to take it too! No luck, did Chris take it to work I wonder?

Andi: Wow, on Cosmo on-line there is seven tips for making a man yours....one of them says tell him stuff that is not very obvious...keep the mystery alive..he will be like white on rice! Hey I bet one of you bitches $20.00 to use that as a pick-up line! Wanna be white on rice?
Sugar: Which trucker should I use that on?

Sugar is at a truck-stop...she informs us she is laying on a picnic table talking to us......

Andi: So where is Speakin? Do you know?
GE: He is still at the airport....his ass better show up here!
Ericka: Don't worry Andi, I will get the picture of his ass for you! I already told him
Andi: What, he knows about that? I am embarrassed.....
Ericka: Yeah, he read it on my blog comment!
GE: Andi, what were you doing up so early this morning?

Lots of talk about my night....and spin class....and then the steam room......

Ericka and GE: The steam room was HOT, HOT, HOT......(laughter)

Female bonding.....

Andi: Undie check.....I am in blue hipsters from Victoria's Secret. (applause and hollering)
Sugar: I am in the undies that GE sent me.....(um, yep..I was lost too, but apparently if GE sends me some I have to send her some...and I actually agreed!)

Discussion about Gretchen Wilson, Wal-Mart undies and big asses! And the road trip to Reno! Oh crap...we are gonna get in some trouble in September!!
So, I know this all sounds crazy...but hey I was taking notes as quickly as I could!! So, stay tuned for the rest of the weekend!

Reporting live from the blogosphere on the effects of drunk dialing, three-ways and trips to Atlanta......

Andi

PS~By the way...someone puked...and it wasnt ME!!

25 Things.....Yep, here we go again!

2006-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, bitches..its that time again! And thanks to the beautiful Sugar....on our late night phone chat, the subject is..........*drum-roll*

25 Fucked Up Things I Have Done While Messed Up.......

So, here we go...and yes, you all are tagged so don't make me hunt you down!!!

1. I went to a hotel room with the nerdiest guy I have ever met...and almost threw up when I realized we were having sex and I was sobering up.
2. I laughed my ass off until I peed myself...literally at an SNL skit...yep, the one with the cowbell and Will Ferrell.
3. I puked in my friends glove box while driving down the 405 freeway 90 mph.
4. I ran naked through the quad at USC, and was chased by security....they called my parents and I had a hearing for indecent behavior and I was almost expelled.
5. I was arrested in Hunington Beach, CA for passing out in a public bathroom. I was released to my parents.
6. I let my intern feel me up at the Lake...yes, I know...BAD Andi!
7. True story...I swear! I almost could of made out with a famous skateboarder....but I puked, and it was in my hair....not sexy!
8. I snuck into the Viper Room in Hollywood. I got shit faced and fell off a barstool and got kicked out....yep, total loser!
9. I went cow-tipping one night...and got chased by a bull!
10. I have also been on a snipe-hunt...and looked for one of those fuckers for hours! (seperate occasion than the cow-tip)
11. I have confessed all my deep dark secrets to my favorite Sicilian Blogger!
12. I drunk dialed my mom on accident from a high school dance...really stupid! Lets say I did not see the sun for months!
13. I made out with a guy at a club...he had no teeth...not a fucken one! Totally weird!!
14. I ate a live squid..nasty, I know.
15. There is a bar in Okinawa, Japan....my undies and bra are hanging up on the wall....
16. I tried to stop a moving car....Flinstone style.....bare-feet!
17. I told Chris for the first time I loved him after I drank a hot-tottie and was on Nyquil...he said, "Thank you"....(story of my life...guys are such pussy's)
18. I puked on myself because I laughed so hard when one of my ex-friends with benefits asked Chris why he married me. He replied, "she is a good lay." He had no idea that the guy already knew that.
19. I lost the key to the handcuffs...long ass story!
20. I started this sex blog! (but it has been so much fun)
21. I puked on my romantic night out on my birthday before Chris and I could have sex. The only action I got was from the strippers!!
22. I got stuck in a sunroof while topless and driving down the 405 freeway!
23. My friends in high school and I drove past the football practice at our high school with bags over our heads with cut-outs for the eyes. We were in our underwear...and my car..yeah, real swift~
24. The day I lost my virginty, his dad caught us and saw me naked....slow reflexes!
25. I flew to Vegas...have no idea how I got there or how to get home.....thank god my friends safety pinned money in our bras!

Alright, so here is the tag......Pandora, Ed, D and B, JD, Goose, Robyn, KJ, Mike, Chief and Lady, John and Jane, Chloe and James, and the rest of you blog lurkers that I have forgot about! Oh, and I think this is a good testament for why someone like me should drink little to none if any!!

xoxo~
andi

Secret Crush....

2006-06-07T17:32:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, I get a little risky and I mention my clients here on my blog. This is not a very wise thing for me to do however. I try not to but sometimes, I just have to tell the story of what happened while I was in session. Of course, keep in mind I always try to keep things anonymous.

Anyway, I have been working with a man who is approximately 40. He and I have been seeing one another once a week for almost a year. His biggest issue is that he is still a virgin and he hates it. He thinks this makes him different than all those around him; never mind the fact that he forgets to bathe and has a mullet like the dutch boy paint guy.

Anyway, for the past several months I sit week after week and hear him talk about his attempts to score a peice of ass to no avail. It gets so boring, I sometimes have to pinch myself to stay awake. We have explored all types of alternatives; even down to going to a brothel. Yet, he decides he will just wait for the "one." I encourage him to socialize, and we practice ways he can approach women. He buys these horrible books on how to meet people, and has memberships to every on-line dating site there is. Still, the poor guy can not get a break.

So, our last session he tells me, "Ms. Andi, I figured it out!" he goes on to tell me he needs a good pick-up line. I caution him about lines, and how they may turn women off, but he is insistant. He asks me if we can practice, and I agree. He sets up this scenario that I am the woman he sees across the crowded room...his secret crush. I look at him and smile. He walks up to me and flips back his mullet and says, "Hi, are those space pants you are wearing? Because your ass looks out of this world."

Um, yeah enough said! Ladies, could you imagine being approached like this? I mean please! So, it is back to the drawing board with my 40 year old virgin!

And so, I leave you with an HNT pic of my "out of the world ass." Oh, and please no comments about my giving him a mercy fuck. My days of mercy fucks are long over with!

Happy HNT and xoxo~
andi

Mind Blowing....

2006-06-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

One thing I have come to realize over the past several days is that when my sweet Chris has a lot of time off it means two things. 1) I have to be more motivated....even when I do not want to be and 2) He loves to fuck just as much as I do....who would of thought?

So, Chris has taken the last 9 days off of work. This has been nice in some regards because he has finished a lot of the household tasks that I wanted him to do. For instance, he put in a new floor in our master bathroom. He steam cleaned the carpets. He washed my car. He even sent me out shopping over the weekend and did not bitch when I came back with new shoes. But the best thing is that he can not keep his hands off of me. Yes, I am getting it.....tons of it! He is inside of me every chance he gets, and I am loving every minute of it. I woke up with his head between my legs more this past week than he has been there in the past three years. Everynight when we lay down he has a hand on my tit and one on my ass. He is tender and passionate and just as sex starved as I am. I have had the best orgasms of my life the past several nights...

Trust me, I am not bitching here. I am in shock. Maybe it is true, maybe men get tired when they work long hours and forget about their inherintant need to have sex. The sad part is that tonight is Chris's last night off, and I am in desperate need to keep his desire for me at an all time high...any suggestions???

xoxo~
andi

Saturday Song~

2006-06-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

Yep, I have nothing! Absolutely nothing today. Not even a rant....I did have mind blowing sex last night, but I am too lazy to even talk about it tonight.

So, I was at Macy's today trying on shoes, and I heard this tune overhead. I thought to myself about how I listened to this song so much one year that I actually warped my CD! So, I figured I would leave it here as the Saturday song while I figure out something tantalizing to post in the next few days!

Have a groovy weekend!

xoxo~!
andi

Nothing Compares to U

IT'S BEEN SEVEN HOURS AND FIFTEEN DAYS,SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR LOVE AWAY
I GO OUT EVERY NIGHT AND SLEEP ALL DAY
SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR LOVE AWAY
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
I CAN SEE WHOM EVER I CHOOSE
I CAN EAT MY DINNER IN A FANCY RESTAURANT
BUT NOTHING, I SAID NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY THESE BLUES
COS' NOTHING COMPARES, NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU

IT'S BEEN SO LONELY WITHOUT YOU HERE
LIKE A BIRD WITHOUT A SONG
NOTHING CAN STOP THESE LONELY TEARS FROM FALLING
TELL ME BABY, WHERE DID I GO WRONG

I CAN PUT MY ARMS AROUND EVERY BOY I SEE
THEY WOULD ONLY REMIND ME OF YOU
I WENT TO THE DOCTORS AND GUESS WHAT HE TOLD ME
GUESS WHAT HE TOLD ME
HE SAID GIRL YOU'D BETTER TRY TO HAVE FUN
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, BUT HE'S A FOOL

COS' NOTHING COMPARES, NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU
ALL THE FLOWERS THAT YOU PLANTED MAMA IN THE BACK YARD
ALL DIED AND WITHERED AWAY

I KNOW THAT LIVING WITH YOU BABY, WAS SOMETIMES HARD
BUT I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY

COS' NOTHING COMPARES, NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU
NOTHING COMPARES, NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU
NOTHING COMPARES, NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU

Fuck Me Thursday....

2006-06-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

I love the way you melt for me when I put your cock in my mouth. Your groans, and the way your hips move as I slide you in and out of my mouth. I look up at you and you grin and groan as I slide my mouth down your shaft. My hands run up and down your thighs as I engulf every inch of you. Your breath becomes heavier as I lick and stroke you. I can feel your cock get harder and begin to throb as I suck you hard and fast. I pull my mouth off and lick your head like a lollipop. I am hungry for your cock, and you love every minute of it. I put you deep in my mouth again and I suck. I use my hands to cup your balls and stroke your shaft as I suck you harder and harder. I hear you moan and your legs shake. I suck harder. My mouth is so moist and hot.

You run your hands through my hair and pull me down into you. Your cock begins to throb, and I continue to suck...you are deep in my throat and you begin to cum. I can taste your sweet semen as I swallow every drop.

You moan and can hardly catch your breath as I swallow you; devouring every drop.

You collapse in complete bliss.

Happy HNT~
xoxo~
andi

Tribute to a Friend...

2006-05-31T22:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends:

It has been a somber time for those of us here in blogville who were acquainted and friends with Larry. I appreciate all of your kind words and thoughts. It means a lot to me and the other friends that visit here and were friends and fans with Larry. One of our mutual friends, Sugar asked me if I could leave her tribute here on my blog. I am honored to do so. Sugar and Larry were friends for a long time, and it was my surfing and stumbling onto Sugar's site that brought me the opportunity to become acquainted with Larry. It is amazing how people touch your lives; especially when we are least expecting it.

Because Larry touched so many of us, there has been a blog set up to honor his memory. It is a place dedicated to remembering him and paying respect to his family and friends. Please go visit there, because some of the most beautiful words and thoughts that I have ever read in blogvile are written there to honor our friend. And of course any of you that wish to contribute please e-mail me, and I will be happy to post your thoughts on the site.

http://friends-of-larry.blogspot.com

Be well friends! And stay tuned for HNT...Larry's favorite day here in Blogville!

XOXO~ANDI

WORDS FROM SUGAR~

about my friend larry...

what does one say about someone they have never touched.. yet felt very touched by him ...how many times did we pray for me?... too many to count that is for sure..

he always had encouraging words when i wanted to just give up.. he let me know all isnt lost .. and i could maintain my life.. my kids... my sobriety and sanity... how many nights did we sit up for hours talking cuz we couldnt sleep.. meeting at the "clubhouse" for the insomniacs..

going to bed in the wee hours and his time zone was an hour ahead of mine.. yet here he would sit.. making sure all was well before bed... im sure he lost many a nights sleep due to our chats...

how can i ever forget the story of him in his boots (only) running with his rifle ... or the day he smashed his thumb in the door trying to get to the hang up call... or looking for something interesting on TV cuz there was nothing else to keep us company... or even trying to defend tom "im an idiot" cruise... LOL ..

yeah larry.. you my friend are missed already!

to anyone that knew larry here ... he really loved us... each and everyone with his wit and charm ... he was the best... making us laugh or understand or just plain happy to be here today.. each day! .. so let me say.. LARRY! ... thank you.. for you.. thank GOD for you...

to his family.. my condolences to you.. for the man you all knew and loved... and god bless us all .. as he is in that perfect place he always knew would be there for him... always your friend...

SUGAR

Remembering you...

2006-05-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

I remember when we first met. You were sitting on a bar stool in the cyber bar. I came in and looked around. I was not sure what to do or what to say, but you made me feel welcomed. You told me to take a seat and you helped introduce me to the blogsphere. The day I walked in it was the day that Texas won the big game against USC. The bar was full of chat; everyone was happy that USC had lost. I was embarrassed. I was the USC alumni and you were the farmboy. We started to talk, and you did not see me as the enemy; just a friend. You saw me as the person who was new, and you took me under your wing. We chatted for hours; me, you and Sugar. We laughed, and teased. You made me smile, and you made me forget that I was having a bad day.

We met up again, night after night. You would tell me of your busy days on the farm, and I would tell you of my busy days working with my clients. You always made me feel good about who I was and what I did. You told me I made a difference in the lives of others and you admired my strength. I would giggle, because I thought that your job was amazing. You were so resiliant and so driven. You wanted to make a difference too. You wanted to help make this world a better place; just in a different way. You knew I did not want to think about your cows being sold for their meat, so you told me everytime you left for a trip you were off to the "zoo." You let me live in my place of comfort. You laughed when you heard I like tofu, and always encouraged me to eat more beef. I giggled when you shared your concerns about your dreams and thoughts and you would always ask,"Andi, does that make me weird?" Weird; you never were!

Larry you were the most courageous person I have ever talked with. You always looked for the sun through the clouds, and never said an ill word about anyone. You made me laugh, and knew just what to say when I was down. You helped remind me of what my purpose was, and made me feel at home in the blogosphere. You knew how to be a friend, and you were protective of those you love~which makes you an amazing man!

Thank you sweet Larry for bringing the sun into my life, and shedding a new light on things I did not always see clearly. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me and letting me know where I belonged in this world. Thank you for the endless laughs, the big hugs you sent through cyber~space, your introducing me to my fan~club. Thank you for your admiration and unconditional love. Thank you for sharing your parenting ideas, and letting me dig into your mind! Thank you for laughing when I said the word "mother~fucker" and thinking I was amazing. Thank you for being so predictable so as letting me win all those late night bets with Sug! Thank you for offering to make that stop on your road trip to "kick some ass." Thank you Larry for teaching me and guiding me to find the better person that lies within. And, of course thank you for your last words you told me to remember! I promised you I would follow through and I will.

I hope you are at peace, and that you have found a wonderful place in that heavenly zoo. And most of all, I am glad you found love!

I will miss you my sweet Farmboy~!

xoxo~
andi

PS~I took this pic and posted it months ago. Larry, thought it was hilarious! He said he never had his name on a peice of paper next to a boot!

May is for MASTURBATION...

2006-05-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

So, I have heard through the blogosphere grapevine that May is Masturbation month and that bloggers were to write about their masturbation experiences. I realized today that it is almost June, so I best get my ass in gear and post! After contemplating on what to write, I came up with this little interview format on myself...enjoy!

So, Andi....how often do you masturbate?

Well, I masturbate at least twice a day. I love to masturbate. It clears my mind, and makes me feel tingly!

Do you think of anyone or anything while you do it?

Oh, I think about certain people. Sometimes I think about certain situations. I think about things that I hear, or were said to me. The last thing I thought about was eating a chili dog and having an incredible kiss...I know, this sounds weird...but the scenario was sexy, and I was hungry!

Where is the oddest place you have ever masturbated?

Hmmm...well, I had to think about this for awhile. But, I think that the oddest place would of been in a guard booth outside of a courthouse. My boyfriend at that time took me in there to spend a few minutes with me, and he asked me to do myself. I sat up on the desk, took my underwear down and began to rub my clit. People were walking around the street, but I tuned that all out. When I was done, he was so turned on that he ended up fucking me right there. He bent me over the desk and I could look out of the window and see people walking by. It was really hot!

Have you ever masturbated while on the phone?

Absolutley! It is exciting. I like to hear the other person cum. I can hear it well because it is in my ear, and it turns me on! Wow, I miss that.

Do you use your fingers or toys?

It depends. I like my toys, but sometimes my hands are more conveinent. Sometimes, I will use my hands and a toy...it makes more an intense time!

So, there it is. Any other questions, please feel free to ask me in my comments...and we will see what you all come up with for me to answer!!

xoxo~
andi