Alright my little friends..it is that time again..yep, it is ROCKSTAR review~again, those of you that just come here for the smut..check the archives or go google Storm Large (pictured to the left)..she is one hottie chick rocking out on ROCKSTAR!
Before I begin my weekly review let me update you on a few little things. So, far..still loving the job! Big Brother...pissed me off..Janelle...hello! Will..and Boogie..need to go!! And last but not least..tomorrow is Tales from the Couch...Mongoose Style..Yes, I have taken the little furry guy to the couch!! And surprisingly he was quite snuggly...anyway, stay tuned...
Now on to my ROCKSTAR review and rant...
Patrice...rocking out with T-Lee to Higher Ground...um, yeah it did not do it for me. And, please just because they tell you to rock out does not okay the bad hair-do and the junkie shuffle moves! I like you sweetie..but, come on! Dave Navarro was right..you disappeared with T-Lee rocking out behind you..
Josh...bad start! What the hell, did you not practice?? And once again what the fuck are you doing up there?? You still sound like a member of N'Sync..and I seriously think he forgot some words to Santaria...I'm right, aren't I Mike? Anyway, I say you need to go find Lance Bass and maybe you both can form a new band. I know the panel gave you props, but I think they were just reminaising about smoking a J...
Dilana...You rocked Bad Company's Cant get Enough...woo hoo..the exorcism was a success! Keep rocking like that babe and I will definitely buy your CD..
Toby...Nirvana..Pennyroyal tea..one of my fav's ...just became more of a fav! You rocked that babe..and damn are you ones sexy hottie! Nice move slow dancing with the blonde in the crowd..if that would of been me my knees would of buckled and I would of came in my pants..DAMN!
8675309...send her home please!! Zayra..you still look like a strung out hooker in TJ...after seeing your moves tonight, I can guarantee you used to work the donkey show! What the hell was that? And the cape and lingerie? Dave could not keep a straight face...and they needed a commercial break to think about what the hell to tell you...they must of consulted with their lawyers..because they were way too nice..(Mike, I swear if you defend her again..I will have to commit you for being legally insane) And Sug says that you are so disgusting that you make her not even want to touch her own pussy after seeing you bump and grind around the stage....stop fucking your boot heel and go back to the Donkey Show..Mike will be there in 2 weeks in his RV...when this trailer is rocking...right Mike??
Magni..not your best...not your worst...not impressed.
Jill..you need to go home too...I can not believe you took that cool song from the Breakfast Club *Dont you forget about me...* and screamed it the whole time..I think only my dog could hear some of those notes..Don't you forget about getting the fuck on the bus out of there...
Ryan..you make me swoon and it is not because you are so damn sexy..but it helps! Your rendition of REM made me want to Lose my Religion...damn, babe..great job playing the piano and still being able to wail. I love a man that is good with his fingers! Yum fucken Yum..I think you get the I want you to fuck me on a piano award tonight! Tommy was right..you will get laid with that performance!
Wow, I am glad to see Tommy back to his rank self...someone pass the Haldol over here!
Lukas..my little FAS man..Hole...Celebrity Skin..awesome! If only you sang it and not Courntey I may of liked it. The only thing is..the sparkly eye-shadow..not a pretty thing..please get rid of it. Although, I will admit..I got a little bored during your performance..not your best..but not the worse.
Did I mention that Zayra really needs to go home?
Storm..so sexy...great job...ch..ch..changes...your voice is awesome. And yes, I now have a crush. Check out her pic above...and Mike, her eyes are not bugging anymore...
Gilby...1-800-Supercuts..really, the hair is scary! And no more showing your chest..it scares me.
Dana...The Who...um, your voice is great..the black eye make-up still does not make you look naughty enough to front SuperNova...someone please give her an eight ball and fuck her in the ass..then we can make our judgement..if not, maybe try the AI try-outs??
So now friends..I leave the soap box for my sexy friend Mike to provide his rebutal..keep him in line since I am unable to access my comments until later in the day...
xoxo!
andi
PS~Um, after this afternoon..7 does not even come close to what happened tonight! Can not wait to tell you about it!!
8 comments:
I'm first!!!!
I hate Janalle.........
Can't wait to read about the Mongoose
Kristen...what the hell are you doing up at 4 am?! Christ woman, it better be good! ;)
Andi - is it me, or is this show missing something that the Original Rockstar kicked? It seems like they really had to scrounge up the singers for this show. SuperNova should contact last years runner up (Trees) and have him come and sing...I bet that band would rock that song. Last year I would rush to the TV...this year..I get there when I get there. I have yet to see a Wednesday show.
Oh well, they tried.
As for Storm...do you think she takes direction well?
;)
I can't stand Janelle, but I have a big crush on Dr. Will. Still don't watch Rockstar, but I am looking forward to seeing you chase the Mongoose around the couch! Have a great day!
OK luv Ryan. Yes he will get laid!
I am liking Storm more and more.
Dana needs to join American Idol. I know she tries but it just ain't doing it for me.
Ohhh I can't wait to hear about Mongoose.
Before I give my Rock Star rebuttal, let me just say, yes, I agree Janelle should have, could have, but they all need to chill on my woman. Each of their pussy asses could have done the same. Hello, James? Kayser? Enough said. Will is a dick, but he knows how to play.
Now on to my ROCKSTAR review and rant...
I think that it is clear by now Dilana is and will be the lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous. She has the look (for them, not sure I would want to wake up next to that in the morning) the sound and the presence. Did you see Gilby drool as she hit the Axl like scream? Yes, girlfriend, you are on your way to stardom.
For the dudes, I at first thought that Toby had redeemed himself and had the best chance of kicking Dilana in the tits to knock her out of contention. Then along came Ryan. Not only is that the greatest song, but the whole solo thing playing the keys…. “I” wanted to spoon with him. Great job. Dilana, get to work because he is your biggest threat. Throw a voodoo spell on him or some shit.
Other noticeable mentions where;
Patrice. She looked good even with the “There’s Something About Amy” hair gel look. Dave gave her shit, but he hasn’t been getting any since Carmen bailed. Honestly I think her biggest problem was she was afraid of offending Gibly. Not trying to grind or push up on anyone. Either that or maybe Tommy was hanging out and she was in awe. She was good.
Storm was good. I think that she Cha.. Cha.. Cha.. Changed… One too many times in each verse, but what do I know. Her voice is awesome, and although I do not want to eat the corn out of her shit like Andi does, She looked hot. But you have to admit, the eyes were like just dying to bug out! Her face was contorting trying to hold them back.
Josh...I have to agree with Ms. Thang. What the hell is your problem boy? Did you have one too many Starbucks enemas or what? I have some advice for ya… You want to be that soulful artsy musician? Go buy a 12 gauge and pull a Cobain. You wanna front Narcotics Anonymous AKA Super Nova? Pull your ego out of your ass and bring it.
Magni, You suck and look like one of the fag clowns from ICP. Next time make sure you have your can of FAGGO. Enough Said!
Jill, I was feeling you at first. But murder one of the best 80’s songs ever and I am kicking your ass to the curb Ho. Save that “I want to be an American Idol, Christina Agulara, gettchi, gettchi, ya ya shit for Karaoke.
Lukas – Good job. I was feeling you and your “Days of Our Lives” missing your family shit, but you sounded just, OK? How does the biggest Musician from Poland or Iceland or where ever the fuck you’re from just sound “OK”? You got the pity vote and the guys are bringing you family over for you, so you better release the nut and start singing. (Did anyone notice Tommy say that his kids were there with him last night? That is because “Ms. Hepatitis C” AKA “Tits on a stick” is off screwing the KID after one of their many marriage ceremonies).
Dana – I loved ya. I love you and I want you! I got the 8 ball and the lube. You bring the box wine.
Last but not least, I have saved the best for last. However in this case with my head down I must concede,
Zayra, what in the FUCK? Dude, you looked like a scanky vampire whore. What is up with the whole Guadalajara super hero shit? To top it off, you have the nerve to try 8675309? Bitch Please! Have you ever even heard that song back in the shanty’s of TJ? Bitch, you need to give it up. You might be hot in a 100-peso, around the world, escort kind way, but you’re no singer, you’re no performer and Canada already has Celine, so you’re fucked. Word of advice, learn English, turn on the radio and listen and find a gay man to dress you.
As Always, love ya Andi. Give me a number and I will call to reconcile my bill. Still waiting on the couch thing.
Oh and real quick, back to Big Brother All-Stars:
Diane, I know that you may get the boot soon. I hear that you’re broke and homeless. I would hate to see ya tricking down on sunset, so give me a call. I have a place for you to sleep and I will put your “Getting Lucky In Kentucky” ass to work.
I'm clueless about Rockstar.
Goose on the couch.. FUN!
I agree with every single comment, girl! Woo Hoo!
Zayra, hey, she made me laugh, which is always appreciated.
Goosey, Goosey! YEAH!
I'm still firmly planted in Camp Dilana, but this week's song was good... not great. I was giving her props for putting herself in front of the band before they mentioned it. She has a great presence and appears to give some strategic thought to this contest that, so far, has worked really well for her.
Storm's rendition of Changes was my favorite this week.
I wanted to punch Jill in the face for screaming. I mean, WTF?
Dana may be drinking wine from a box, or hell, maybe it's Boone's Farm, but give her a little credit for her mature demeanor when she got the boot.
bella
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