I feel wilted my friends. I feel sick, and its hot. I am tired, and I can not sleep. I wasn't going to post but I thought "fuck it." Sometimes I just need to write to make sense of the scrambled eggs between my ears.
It's Summer...officially. I hate summer...always have. I am not sure why, but this is the time of year I find the most depressing. Some of it is because my work becomes so overwhelming, and some it can be because I cant sit on the beach all day and drink. Of course, I also hate the fact that I have to wear clothes that show off the parts of my body I hate..the fat legs, the belly bulge...the bikini blues..yep, it's fucken summer.
My job...I was talking to Erika tonight..she is so wonderful. She told me that maybe I am burned out. She is right. I love helping people, but it is getting harder to do. All the stories and sadness sort of blend together. They all sound the same after a while. It carries over into my personal life; like for instance my daughter's day care teacher is a bitch. She is mad because I had to make a complaint against her..normally, I dont care..fuck her. Tonight she gave me the cold shoulder and looked down her nose at me...I left in tears..yeah, stupid I know..but a big sign of burn-out!!
Monday..Is the big second interview. I am not ready. I went to have my hair trimmed and my eye brows waxed. Hair looks great...eyebrows suck! Fuck, how hard is it to follow the arch! Nothing is worse than having a bad set of brows! It pisses me off really. Chris suggested I use a pencil to shape them....he is really cute..but totally clueless! Anyway, back to the interview...none of my suits are right. They are hot, and I do not have the right shoes. I went shopping today, I could not find anything. I hate that. The bitch at the Ann Taylor Loft was less than helpful....she needs to get laid! So, off to Macy's tomorrow. I hate suiting up during the summer...totally uncomfortable! Please start wishing my luck though...I need it! This is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities..I need this! So, Monday 6/27...12 pm pst....good vibes!! Oh, and if there is another sniper incident or some fucked up thing making me late...I am going to be pissed!
July 4th...no plans yet. Not sure what to do...lots of offers..no decisions.
Parents....second week in July...fuck! They told me tonight they are already packed...they are high maintenance and need to be entertained....the ENTIRE time!! Seriously, I am not in the mood!!
Vegas..I wanted to go...had the reservations...now I can't...the interview falls in the middle of the trip! Fuck, I hate when a good trip is screwed up.
My neighbor...he is now sitting in the dark on his deck so he can look in my dining room window. He thinks I do not see him...I do. He likes watching me walk around naked...whatever..cheap thrills!
T-Bone...My dear friend Taylor...he told me today that I rock his world; he can tell I am down. He and I talked forever it seemed about how people pretend to care and then they close you out...its disappointing and it hurts. Why even open the door to begin with? And then the fucked up part is when the door is closed...you move on...and VACUUM....you are being sucked back in! I hate game players...grow up please!
I feel wilted.
xoxxo!
andi
9 comments:
Come on Andi Cheer up..I hope you get his job and hope that summers wont be that bad after u change jobs..I really hope you get it...
xxx
B
*hugs*
Hope you enjoy your weekend
Ohh please I so win on the belly bulge!! So does this mean we are going to Vegas instead?
I send you luck and Good vibes Today!!!
I don't think you need to read between the lines to hear what you are saying. You are over tired, totally stressed out and you DO need a break.
Anyone working in such a caring profession ends up drained. You have to take care of yourself and take some time out.
I hope all goes well with the interview.
Sorry that things suck right now sweetheart. Peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys. What goes down must come up (that's Chief's Law, a take off of the gravitational law, but can also be related to sex!) If I was there, I would give you a big hug, but then I wouldn't be on my porch in the dark watching you walk around naked (uh oh, secret is out!) So instead I send you a squeeze (and a grope) electronically. (I couldn't resist the grope, you know us MEN).
Chin up darling, and I'll cross fingers for Monday!!
OK, sweet thing! I brought with me this supply of water and some fertilizer that should perk you right up! No, I'm not going to tell you what's in the fertilizer, you just have to trust me! *wink No more wilting for you!
You are beautiful, inside and out, and you are drained. You need a break! Now, I had heard something about TX, did you? PJ Party, right?
You know I'll be praying for you on Monday, hell, I keep you in my daily prayers, so you're doubly covered!
Sending you big hugs, girl!
I have no idea if this will help but I read a pamphlet in my docs office that said your stomach can get inflated if you are dehydrated. Works for me! Break a leg at your interview!
My Sweets..all of you! Thanks again for the encouragement and the good vibes!
Steph, I like the idea of the bulge being because of not enough hydration..I am drinking more water starting now!
Byron, I love when you stop by..thanks for the kind words!
Kj~My hottie KY'er...thanks for the hugs..wish you could be here to help me pick out shoes!
Jenn~Thanks for the love! I got your back babe..anytime!
Baby P~ Oh, if only I could have you next to me..holding my hand! I know I would feel much better! Hugs and kisses!
Mr. Manic~Oh, you are too kind...I love that you like my belly..I love your sexy head!
Erika..WTF..bulge..um, nope. Ill be fattening you up wherever we land..Vegas, Tx..??
Kristi~Thanks sweets..I appreciate your good vibes!
Suze~My fav red head..you always say the right thing! I need a vacation..maybe I can come hang with you and Alex and spy on your neighbors with you! :)
Chiefy..I totally feel that squeeze..and the grope..shame on you! ;) Anyway, you are right..peaks and valleys!! I will think of that. Hugs back..and a slap on that firm ass too!
GE~Thanks for the thoughts and prayers..I love you girl! Bring the water and fertilizer...and we can have a pillow fight in TX during the pj party!
Thanks again!
andi
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